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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think people should keep their b.o under control in public places?

89 replies

Whirliwig72 · 04/05/2012 16:09

Ok so there is a lady on a course I'm on who has really really strong stale sweaty smell. It's so bad that I'm finding it hard to concentrate. Not a one off unfortunately as she smelt last week too:( How do people not know when they smell? Would I be unreasonable to say something to her and what on earth could I say that wouldn't cause huge offence? Thinking of taking a 'plague type pomander' with me to smiff next week!

OP posts:
LadyWithEDS · 04/05/2012 21:31

There was something on TV last night, there was a psychotherapist on it, and he went into a stinky house, he just said to the person who owned the stinky house, that he found the smell repugnant, do they mind if he covers his nose with a hanky, the man was ashamed and said yes, and the psychotherapist put a hanky over his nose, it was all very grown up and respectfull. I wonder if you could manage something like that with the smelly woman on the course if it was one to one. not sure I could

bibbitybobbitybunny · 04/05/2012 21:50

Do you remember what programme that was LadyWithEDS?

bitbewildered · 04/05/2012 21:54
  1. There's a guy at the toddlers group I go to who sometimes (not always) STINKS of BO. Grim during hokey-cokey time.
  1. I got the metal taste in the first couple of weeks of pregnancy in my second pregnancy, but didn't notice it in the first one.
1950sHousewife · 04/05/2012 22:07

I feel for you whirligig.

I used to be friends with a lovely, well presented girl of 24 who often stank of deep seated BO, not just a bit of sweat. She was so lovely that we as friends had no idea how to approach her about it after it came up once briefly (BTW, it genuinely wasn't bitching, it was more like a cringy upsetting conversation about people who adored her who were stressing about whether to tell her or not.)

It wasn't until I lived with her as a flatmate that I found out she showered every day. But - only in the evening. In the morning she got straight out of bed and into her clothes. I guess she didn't realise that overnight dried sweat could smell bad.

I never told her. I'm not sure if I should regret that or not. I feel like I should have been braver and said something. I am the opposite of many of you and find smells generally not too bad. They had to be pretty rank before I am offended.

I think you should mention something to the course supervisor.

(BTW - I have the same problem with a lovely Iranian engineer who sits near me in our language classes. His breath is minging. I'm ashamed to say I avoid sitting near him and try not to be paired with him for when we have to practice speaking.)

LoveHandles88 · 05/05/2012 11:10

LeQueen, I shower every morning, and quite often in the evening too. I wash my clothes 'properly' too. I still smell throughout the day. I also get huge sweat patches on my clothes. I actually take offence to pretty much everything you've said here. I don't care about the science behind it. I just know that I am a very clean person, and I suffer from a condition that makes me feel disgusting enough, without people like you.
OP, I would talk to the course leader, and hopefully they are the tactful sort that can sort it out.
Maybe the person is just a bit of a grimbo, maybe not. But either way, it's probably better that the leader deals with it.

SpottedGurnard · 05/05/2012 14:52

Lovehandles88- another hyperhydrosis sufferer here too :(

I would be mortified if a "kind meaning" colleague came and said something to me about my sweating(normally it doesnt smell but I have been caught out on occasions when I have been very nervous. Short of nipping to the toilet and appearing in a brand new set of clothes, which I didnt have on me, there was nothing I could do but sit and feel very self conscious).

I have tried every anti perspirant available. I have used ones so strong they react with the sweat you produce to make hydrochloroc acid which burns. I cant afford botox that will wear off after a few months and the NHS won't help.

What more can I do? It must be so nice sat up there on your high horses wearing lovely clothes. I, on the other hand, cannot just wear what I want. I have to carefully choose clothes that wont offend you all with the sweat patches I CANT HELP! Can you imagine what it was like as a teenager?!! hell.

petitepeach · 05/05/2012 15:06

SpottedGurnard I can sympathise with the excess sweating and the lovely 'ahem' wet patches; suffered really badly through my late teens and twenties...

You probably have tried this but a roll-on 'Driclor' more or lessed solved the problem for me; I applied for a couple of nights and low and behold no wet patches I was thrilled to say the least.....have been using on and off for years I haven't sweated excessively for years now....Smile

Think it runs in the family as my Dad suffered from it too...

tubsywubsy · 05/05/2012 15:09

Hyperhydrosis can be treated with botox injections. Works very effectively on sweaty armpits/hands etc. I'm not sure if it is available on the nhs, but I understand that one treatment can last for a up to six months and repeated treatments can sometimes effect a complete cure with no need for further injections.

wooga · 05/05/2012 15:17

Another sufferer of h h here.I had botox in my underarms a few years ago to see if it would help.

Unfortunately I found my stomach would start feeling wet instead.

Not great during a job interview-I had to put my bag up on my lap to hide my increasingly darker shirt!

SpottedGurnard · 05/05/2012 15:22

Petitepeach- it runs in my family too. I am pretty sure my mum had it and think my aunt suffered from it too. The only time I plucked up the courage to talk about it with my mum as a shy 11 yr old she told me she had grown out of it in her late teens. It was also dismissed by my gp for being "hormones" HmmI'm now 23 and theres no sign of it stopping!

I have found perspirex helps slightly but you cant applying it for 24hrs after shaving- I have really dark fast growing hair so its a horrible choice to have to make!

LoveHandles88 · 05/05/2012 16:56

I tried Driclor, only the once. I had to spend the following day with my arms in the air coz I had a reaction. Triple Dry is okay (applied after a shower, before going to bed, not after shaving armpits), but there really is not much that'll help let alone cure it. I was told I could have an operation to cut the nerves in my armpits, but the sweat would just appear anywhere else IO already sweat on my body (super sweaty thighs, back and face did not appeal to me), but they do one armpit at a time, and it involves temporarily collapsing a lung each operation.
Clothes shopping is pretty hard. Colour/fabric etc.

theincredibequeenofwands · 05/05/2012 18:08

In the olden days women would spray perfume on hankies and hold them over their noses and mouths.

Worth trying?

laughlovelife · 05/05/2012 18:14

I had BO last weekend, I didn't know I have BO, as I have no sense of smell unfortunately, I also dont sweat, and bathe everyday.

YANBU to dislike the smell, YABU, for not understanding the woman does not know why she smelling.

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