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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I should of stuck up for myself?

45 replies

my2centsis · 04/05/2012 07:43

a few weeks back dd (nearly 4) caught the flu that was going around kindergarten, she was quite sick, high temp, cough, up all night and quite upset it lasted about 4 days and I kept her home for the hole week. Just as she was getting better my ds (4mo) caught this flu.

He had a temp of 39 an was miserable, I was up all night standing with him in the bathroom so the steam could help him breath, had taken him to the doctors and was just a virus to nothing they could do.

Over the last 8 days I was only getting 3-4hours of sleep a night I was exhausted!

So ds was slowly getting better, temp was gone and mostly just a cough and runny nose. I had put off going to the supermarket for as long as possible and had to go. I wrap ds up in thermals etc and away I go.

I'm at the checkout when ds does a wee cough, This is hat the checkout lady says..

Her: "why is he coughing? How old is he?"
Me: he's 4months and because he's just getting overhe flu"
Her: "he is far too young to ever havethe flu, what jar you beef doing with him?"
Me: he caught it from his sister who got it from kindergarten"
Her: "why did you not get her to stay elsewere why she was sick? It's disgusting that a baby has the flu at his age and shows alot about your parenting!"
Me: shes my daughter who was sick so she was at home where she belonged so I could take care or her, iv done everything i can to try an help him get better faster"
Her: "well that's what your telling everyone arnt you? I feel so sorry for him and the life he will have if this is the way he is already"

By this time she gives me my receipt and I walk away as she yells take care precious wee boy!!

I got in my car and cried. I was already exhausted from lack of sleep and doing everything I could do for him.

My mum says I should of told her to go fuck herself but I am te type of person who does not Like confrontation!

What would you have done/said?

OP posts:
Sookeh · 04/05/2012 07:45

I'd have told her to go fuck herself, and I'm awful at confrontation too.

Hope he feels better soon.

MaargeritaPracatan · 04/05/2012 07:46

Blimey - Out of order or WHAT?! Ring the manager, complain strongly.

McKayz · 04/05/2012 07:46

I would have told her to go fuck herself and complained to the manager

talkingnonsense · 04/05/2012 07:47

She was incredibly rude ( and wrong) and you should have thumped her.

VodkaJelly · 04/05/2012 07:47

go back to the store and make a complaint.

Original poster
my2centsis · 04/05/2012 07:47

Damn auto correct!

What have you been doing with him?

Not

What jar you beef?!

OP posts:
Sirzy · 04/05/2012 07:49

I would make a complaint. Your receipt should have enough detail for them to trace who served you.

wishiwasonholiday · 04/05/2012 07:49

I'd have told her to mind her own business and would have reported her to the store
Manager.

We have a lady like this but she likes to criticise your shopping like 'ooh you really shouldn't be buying your kids sweets and ooh you must need to save money with all those children!' ( I Only have 2).

Convert · 04/05/2012 07:49

Poor you. You should have told her to stick her opinion up her arse. Some people are just twats. Don't give her another thought.

Moominsarescary · 04/05/2012 07:49

Tiredness, poorly children one after another. I'd probably have done the same as you. However you could go back to the shop now take her name and put in a complaint.

She was rude and she sounds incredibly stupid. Who sends their ill toddler away so as not to pass it on to other siblings. Unfortunately these things happen when you have more than one child.

Try not to let it upset you

Hyperballad · 04/05/2012 07:55

I think that women has some big issues!

How horrible for you. I also think you should complain to the store manager. By writing it down in a letter of complaint should help you get it out of your head too.

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 04/05/2012 08:01
Hmm
HeartsJandJ · 04/05/2012 08:01

I love "what jar you beef"

It sounds like the home-made remedy of a mad-woman (which she clearly was).

OP YANBU but don't let her upset you.

imnotmymum · 04/05/2012 08:05

That is so terrible for you how rude ! How dare she talk to you like that so so rude.
"What jar of beef" I knew what you meant ,shows how much we read odd things and our brain can autocorrect now !!

Casmama · 04/05/2012 08:08

I agree you should go back and complain to the manager. I doubt this is a one off and you wouldn't want other people to be left in tears after getting a roasting from this woman.

fanoftheinvisibleman · 04/05/2012 08:13

Whilst I think you should not let her utter stupidity upset you, I do think you should complain. She clearly needs assistance and guidance at work about appropriate behaviour.

Mosman · 04/05/2012 08:18

I don't think it's too late to go back and complain, i'm sure you'd recognise her if you saw her again. So angry on your behalf.

letsblowthistacostand · 04/05/2012 08:18

God I complained the other day because the supercilious bastard at the till wouldn't give me any bags!!

You can still call and complain, it was none of her business and she was incredibly rude. Hope you get some sleep this weekend xx

AnAirOfHope · 04/05/2012 08:25

At five weeks old my dd got a cold or rsv and was in hospital she got it off her brother who goes to nursary. Its what happens when there are older children in the house. The posative is the baby gets a good working immune system.

The till women clearly has not got children and no idea about family life. Also no brains about germs and children. I would have told her so in no unsertan terms and then told her to fuck off and complaint to the manager.

Vixxen · 04/05/2012 08:41

Go back to the store and make an official complaint in person to the manager. Her name will be on the receipt and i'd even go as far as saying i'd like to talk to her directly (but i'm confrontational) not to have a go, but to ask her why she thought she had a right to judge you. She will hang her head in shame i bet.

What a nasty woman.

JennyPiccolo · 04/05/2012 08:42

I would write an email to the store saying what happened, and tell them you won't be setting foot in the place again.

surroundedbyblondes · 04/05/2012 08:43

Just the same as Hope, our DD2 was hospitalised with rsv at 5 weeks that she caught from her sister via creche. It was awful but it's over now. Had anyone told me at the time that we were responsible or that we should have sent our 2 year old DD1 away from her family I would have killed them. What an interfering old bitch. Well done for keeping your dignity OP. I do think you should complain though. She is well out of line.

sugarice · 04/05/2012 08:49

I would definitely ask to speak to the Store Manger along with a letter of complaint to Head Office.What a nasty piece of work she is, I wonder how many other customers she has offered her opinion to.

ElasticNipples · 04/05/2012 08:52

all details are on the recipt go and complain to the manager, if you dont say they cant change anything- this woman will continue to be rude to others.
you will probably get some kind of gift voucher from the store as a good will gesture.

hope your kiddies are feeling better xx

pictish · 04/05/2012 08:59

If this is true - then you need to calmly approach the store manager and relay the conversation back to him or her.
Speaking to people like that is completely unacceptable.

I had something similar, where my newborn started crying for a feed as I was pulling on some jeans in a changing room. I pulled them off again, got dressed and went to deal with it, when a very angry store assistant stormed over and gave me what for!
She told me I needed to sort my piorities out and see to my child, as I was obviously more bothered about shopping for clothes than that poor wee soul. She was really aggressive.
I went away and fed her, cried about it, then went back to speak to the manager. She WAS the manager!! More aggression and she told me to get out of the shop. It was bizarre!!
Complained to customer services, got an apology, and a gift voucher for £25. I gave it to a pal, and never set foot in their shops again.

Mental. Some people are unbelieveable. Complain OP. Oh yes!