to phone the police (101) about pants down in the park?

[Astr0naut]

So, took the dcs to our local park today to play.

Walked through the gate to see three lads (17/18 ) on the swings. One of them was standing up with his pants around his ankles. I immediately averted my gaze and his mates all laughed.

They stopped laughing when I asked them whether they attended x school or Y college. Apparently they attend Y college. They shuffled off and I heard one of them muttering about how "we're gonna get banned from the park now."

I phoned the college to complain and the receptionist said she'd let departments know. Not sure what will happen then. In school we'd have a big assembly to bollock (sorry) the lads. Wondered about the police, but then, I teach big daft lads, so I know the sort of things they do.

However, it is a kids' play park.

Dh is furious and reckons it's indecent exposure, so even though nothing will happen, I should report it. He's also disgusted that I feel the need to ask the Sages of Mumsnet.

I agree with Wilson, there's a lot of second-guessing about what this boy's motive was, and a lot of people seem to be minimising it.

An 18 year old should know he can't expose himself in a children's park. Call the police and let them decide.

i think that's all they can do really. you dont know who it was only (hopefully) the college they go to so that's your best bet for getting the message accross to whoever it was.

I'm on the fence getting splinters in my arse.

I was flashed at by a teen (14 at the time), but thought it wasn't ruining his life over. However, had I had a DD I would have strung the fecker up by his little maggot I can tell you.

I have a 17.5yo DS and I don't understand the "teen boys brains aren't fully formed" comments. He can, nearly, drive a car, wants to join the Army and can practically look after himself so I am pretty sure most (all his mates) boys of the same age know that you do not drop your trousers in a playpark in broad day light whatever the reason. Even my 15yo knows that as well if I am honest!

"If your 13 year old daughter had witnessed this and came home upset and confused would you say 'never mind, just lads mucking about' or would you phone the police? I don't mean that to sound provocative or nasty, but I feel that you were unphased by the incident so are minimising it - but not everyone would feel the same way."

I can't speak for others who are less than stressed by this I'm sure that having been brought with my sense of sarcasm my DD would be more than able to deliver a withering remark and not be upset and confused. Even if she was upset and confused I probably would just say, "Never mind, just lads mucking about" (although I'd be even more likely to say, "Never mind, just lads lamenting how small their dicks are").

I would reported it just in case they've been reported before. There's no way they can be identified otherwise, unless you have to attend an identity parade, which is very unlikely and heavyhanded and you probably wouldn't be able to anyway, would you?

**Brought up, sorry.

For fucks sake!

Unbelievable.

Some women really are their own worst enemies.

Hides thread.

Must admit im with fanjo but id love to be able to tell the boy how serious it could have been for him if you hadnt been reasonable and a mumsnetter.

What's up, Flicka?

Ring them - text is no good for this sort of thing!

Astronaut, I think your last post sounds like a really good compromise.

I've text.

I'm assuming that if they take me up on my suggestion to go and give a talk, they'll phone me back. Hopefully at a time when dd doesn't need feeding again.

I'm also willing to bet that the park'll be empty for a while.

At leat during the day.

So Graham if this hypothetical 13 yo DD was upset and confused it would be her fault then? Or her mother's for not teaching her sarcasm? Is that how you meant that to come across?

I'm also signing out now, as I have approximately 45 minutes until Dd wakes for her first (sigh) feed of the night. I can probably get half a glass of wine and a ruck of giant buttons down me by then.

Thanks again people, and also very interesting how polarising this thread was. Dh is sulking because he assumed you'd all agree with him. I, like Land, have an arse full of splinters. Ds, who prompted the trip to the park, is blissfully unaware.

AstrOnaut The only thing that shocks me about this thread is your indecisiveness. You are a teacher, a pillar of the community, report it. As someone mentioned, others may not be so understanding/hardened to this sort of anti social behaviour. I doubt his life will be ruined btw, at the most a riprimand, could even be a turning point for him. Sound to me you find this a massive burden, when your duty is clear.

This thread last week highlights that flashing is unfortunately commonly experienced.

What might have started as a dare / joke from these lads has the potential to develop into something much more sinister and so a bloody good shock for them could stop them.

It also shows how scary some of these experiences can be for those on the receiving end

I personally wouldnt call the police because i dont believe the lad had any sexual intent , he wasnt a 'flasher' , he was a silly immature idiot . I posted on the other thread about my experience of flashers and what the OP describes isnt anything like it.
Just out of curiosity if you had wandered into the park and come across a gaggle of teenage girls messing about and one had been flashing her breast's would you have phoned the police ?

frumpet - Flash of breast vs Flash of penis? Both would be pretty horrible. Both an agressive gesture, in context, the pubicl space/park. He/she would need to be taken to one side and told.....off...no criminal record required.