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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not answer phone and speak to working late husband since I'd rather watch tv?

59 replies

MinesAPint · 01/05/2012 22:14

21.45 phone rings. Know it will be dh on his way home from appointment, feeling bored and wanting a chat. I can't be arsed quite frankly - I don't sit down to relax until around 9 pm most nights and don't want to be disturbed. Yes I could put Sky on live pause I suppose but am disinclined. Answer phone kicks in "hello, hello....." - I ignore and he rings off, only to try again a couple of minutes later. Eventually he tries my mobile, I answer with "has it occurred to you I just want to watch tv in peace"

So, am I unreaonable (reckon I am going to get a roasting Grin)

OP posts:
parakeet · 01/05/2012 22:16

YANBU.

In our marriage we refer to it as golden time. You do not disturb someone's golden time.

Original poster
MinesAPint · 01/05/2012 22:17

Blimey - I didn't expect someone to agree with me, but glad you have

OP posts:
Ragwort · 01/05/2012 22:17

I know exactly what you mean .............. sometimes I just pray that my DH won't phone when he's away - often there is really nothing much to say, like today when he asked 'what had I been doing all day' - I could hardly tell him the truth, nothing much except mumsnetting Grin.

Still, I suppose the nice thing to do is to try and be pleasant and chatty Smile

EightiesChick · 01/05/2012 22:18

YANBU

McPhee · 01/05/2012 22:18

I do this to DP sometimes. He always calls me in the middle of one of my programmes. God forbid I call during top gear. He can't get me off the phone quick enough Hmm

Original poster
MinesAPint · 01/05/2012 22:19

It's a big ask though - being pleasant and chatty Wink

OP posts:
TooEasilyTempted · 01/05/2012 22:20

YANBU. My DH does this to while away a bit of time on a long drive home if he's been working away, even if I've spoken to him a couple of times during the day. dies my head in. Sometimes I ignore the call and tell him I was in the bath so couldn't answer.

Bluebellsinseason · 01/05/2012 22:20

Ha ha, at least you are honest. I have been known to say, oh I was upstairs, didn't hear the phone ring. Enjoy your roasting, he will be expecting sympathy for working late, 'tis true.

TooEasilyTempted · 01/05/2012 22:21

does my head in... As does this bloody iPhone Grin

my2centsis · 01/05/2012 22:22

Ummm

My dh worked late the othernight I have a 5mo an a 4th that I had been with all day after doing tea, baths, dishes, stories and then spending an hour and a half with a screaming 5mo who doesn't like to go to sleep I didn't sit down till 9.45 and when the phone rang I hoped it was dh tro which I hapily talked to for 10min untill he got home 20mins later.

I find it a bit odd that u would ignore your husbands calls because your too busy watching tele that you could easily pause Hmm

If I was you dh I would feel rejected tbh

However yanbu for wanting to relax. Hope you have a good night op

Original poster
MinesAPint · 01/05/2012 22:23

Well, must say - it's very gratifying to see that I am not as unreasonable as I feared!

OP posts:
toofattorun · 01/05/2012 22:23

Did I fall asleep and sleep-type this?

I often ignore my husband's "I'm coming home now" phone call. I think a couple of rings and then a hang up would suffice so I can quickly clean the kitchen before he gets home.

Original poster
MinesAPint · 01/05/2012 22:25

Yes, dh probably does feel a weeny bit rejected (guilt)

OP posts:
Springforward · 01/05/2012 22:26

YANBU. He's on his way home, anyway.

When I was in early pregnancy, DH was working shifts. He used to call me for a chat on his break when he worked lates. I was almost always snoozing on the sofa by 8pm. If I did get to the phone in time, I'd always be bleary and rubbish. Eventually I stopped trying to get to the phone in time, and he got the hint and started texting instead....

Another time, same trimester, he was on nights. I had rotten middle of the night insomnia at the time so night sleep was precious, and he called me at 11pm to say he'd had an accident at work, sliced open his hand and was on the way to A&E. Did he get any sympathy? Nope. I, er, told him thanks for letting me know, and went back to bed! Only the next morning did it occur to me to think that he may have been hoping for a lift home, on account of how he couldn't drive with new stitches and a whopping dressing on. Blush I blame the hormones!

my2centsis · 01/05/2012 22:29

All he wants to do is talk to his lovely wife an the answer he gets is I want to watch tv in peace!!

You big meany :)

lessemin · 01/05/2012 22:29

My DD does this, she is away at university and regularly calls me when she is waiting for a bus, walking somewhere etc. She calls it a transit call Grin

my2centsis · 01/05/2012 22:31

Springfield Shock I don't think you can blame hormones on that at all

Im actually in shock

Hassled · 01/05/2012 22:33

This is all ringing a guilty sort of bell with me Blush. DH has a knack of ringing exactly when I've sat down and switched off a bit and no, I don't want to run through what I did today or what he did today. I want to veg on the sofa. I will rot in hell.

Bluebellsinseason · 01/05/2012 22:33

You deserve your time-out. Don't worry too much or make a big thing of it. Just laugh it off and lavish him with attention when he's home. He should understand you just needed to zone out for a bit after a day with the kids, who we all know, can be relentless.

my2centsis · 01/05/2012 22:34

Woops ment springfoward

Original poster
MinesAPint · 01/05/2012 22:34

Do you always answer lessemin? Bet you do - suspect I would for my absent student dd/ ds but not for dh Shock, that's very telling isn't it

OP posts:
Springforward · 01/05/2012 22:35

Yes, a truly crimson memory there, my2, and not my finest wifely moment, as he reminds me regularly....

Original poster
MinesAPint · 01/05/2012 22:35

That's hypothetical - dc not yet at university, just thinking ahead

OP posts:
FrauGrau · 01/05/2012 22:36

YANBU. You need some chillout time!!

minimisschief · 01/05/2012 22:36

so much love in this thread...

i swear so many people on this forum just dont ike their partners