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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not answer phone and speak to working late husband since I'd rather watch tv?

59 replies

MinesAPint · 01/05/2012 22:14

21.45 phone rings. Know it will be dh on his way home from appointment, feeling bored and wanting a chat. I can't be arsed quite frankly - I don't sit down to relax until around 9 pm most nights and don't want to be disturbed. Yes I could put Sky on live pause I suppose but am disinclined. Answer phone kicks in "hello, hello....." - I ignore and he rings off, only to try again a couple of minutes later. Eventually he tries my mobile, I answer with "has it occurred to you I just want to watch tv in peace"

So, am I unreaonable (reckon I am going to get a roasting Grin)

OP posts:
sensuallettuce · 01/05/2012 22:37

Omg you sound like me!!

YANBU!! (and we go weeks without seeing each other but he is just crap on the phone).

Hassled · 01/05/2012 22:38

Oh I like mine lots, thanks, minimiss. I just don't always like talking to him when it's late and I'm tired and he's bored in a hotel room somewhere.

Notfuckingpastit1 · 01/05/2012 22:40

Here's me thinking it was just me that got pissed off with him ringing me when he's bored. He only rings cos it's free from his phone to mine! I'm trying to watch TV and he's got 5mins before he's due out again.

TheDetective · 01/05/2012 22:41

Mine doesn't ring. Well, eventually he tries ringing. After he has text me 36 times prior. I have been known to wake up mid morning after he has gone to work to god knows how many texts off him. They are all the same. I love you. I miss you. I hate work. I just want to be home with you etc etc etc. You get the drift. I text back um, maybe twice in a day. If he is lucky!

It drives me insane! He's always been the same though! 2 1/2 years later, and nothing has changed! I can even tell what time it is without looking at my phone when he texts, as he gets 3 set breaks a day in work! And then he texts me again when he finishes, and for the entire 10 minute walk to the car... same thing.

He's never asked why I hardly reply anymore! I'd much rather wait for him to get home, and tell me these things in person, and have a good chat about the day! Don't get me wrong, I love how much he cares. But sometimes.... it's just, well, smothering!

He doesn't seem to take hints. Or sarcastic comments such as 'why don't you just save those texts to your phone, and you can just copy and paste them every time' Grin

Everyone knows what he is like too - he accidently texts his mum/sister/mates... love you babe, got to go babe, see you soon miss you so much etc etc! Its a running joke now!! He once text o2 asking me if I was missing him as much as he was missing me. HA!

I feel so mean now Blush. I do love him, but I appreciate the time apart! Absence makes the heart grow fonder!

Original poster
MinesAPint · 01/05/2012 22:41

Speaking of it being late and feeling tired, I'm going to head off to bed. Thanks all for your thoughts. Will check thread again tomorrow

OP posts:
sensuallettuce · 01/05/2012 22:43

Exactly - I love him more than anything but his job is secret so is mie do we can't discuss work - he has long silent pauses and I can hear him on the net. I like texting and I live that he wants to connect and just that he has tried to call is great because he is thinking of me and loves me but a long protracted phone call when I have just sat down at 9.30 - no.

When he is here we get on great. So glad it's not only me Grin

Rhinosaurus · 01/05/2012 22:43

I've done this, I used to work shifts and oh used to do this all the time when driving and bored, does he think I'm a paid entertainer or something?!

I never used to answer, and then say something like oh I was in the shower/bath/loo etc. I've never fessed up to ignoring his calls deliberately.

mayaswell · 01/05/2012 22:52

Yep. Here as well. Just don't like feeling summoned. Totally unreasonable and I try to hide my displeasure

lessemin · 01/05/2012 22:53

Yes I do answer, but she does talk my ear off for ages!

Duckypoohs · 01/05/2012 22:55

Dp phones me from work all the frigging time so YANBU. He says the exact same thing every single time, "Are you ok?" "Have the kid's been good?". He must have a sixth sense because he only ever calls when I am in the middle of something.

It's so annoying, call if you have something to say/tell me, otherwise he just whinges that he is tired/bored.blah fucking blah it does my head in.

Tulipsforever · 01/05/2012 22:57

Respect!

Springforward · 01/05/2012 22:59

TBH we both prefer texting when we're at work, because it will wait a little while if one of us is not immediately available. We do speak if he's away, though.

Mobile phones are great, I wouldn't be without one, but it does seem that it's not ok anymore to be out of contact for a little while, for some people.

Wouldbedad · 01/05/2012 23:06

YANBU, but it defo pisses me off when DW does it. I called her from Afghanistan on a sat phone and got told to make it quick as 'Corrie' was on. Pretty sure I thought that was U at the time...

M0naLisa · 01/05/2012 23:39

Oh i would never do that to my DH i love speaking to him what ever time of day he worked away last night and he rang me at midnight to say goodnight and ask how my day went. He had been travelling and hadnt spoken to him all night.

Mayisout · 02/05/2012 00:04

Skype is a nightmare imo - calls cost so little
DH works abroad, previously far east so his boring evening was my 8am ---- aaaargggghhh daily waffle waffle when all I want to do is get on with stuff.

Now in US so calls at his lunchtime, my 9pm aaaaaargh, as usually start of something half decent on tele.

Nevertooearlyforcake · 02/05/2012 00:26

My DH goes away overnight with work. Mostly I will answer eventually but it's not 100%. I still have a couple of episodes of Silent Witness to catch up on Smile.

mythical · 02/05/2012 07:19

I don't think Yabu.
Personally, I wouldn't do it. If I'm busy I will answer/text saying so. I wouldn't ignore the call.

madasa · 02/05/2012 07:29

I don't think Yabu.....but then I wouldn't, my DP has just called to say he might finish early today and come home. I love the very bones of him but I work 4 very long days and Wednesday is my day off....my space...my time to myself and I don't want to see or speak to anyone....not even him

googleberry · 02/05/2012 07:48

I ignored my hubby's text last night asking if I was still awake knowing full well he would ing if I said yes! Don't blame you

AdelaideAussie · 02/05/2012 07:59

Mmmmmm so I arrive home, "so sorry DP I don't want to talk to you I want some chillout time"

"ouch", door hits my arse as I'm thrown out the house.....

Mumsyblouse · 02/05/2012 08:05

Why don't you say earlier in the day, 'I'll be watching TV/going to bed early from 9, so call me before then if you want to speak to me'? I find it a bit strange all these men deliberately calling and texting all night disturbing their wives, I tend to think about if my husband is going to be busy/asleep and not bother them, even if I really wanted to speak with him. Weird.

Groovee · 02/05/2012 08:14

Crimewatch was on then, if he chose to phone it would be ignored too.

MrsHoarder · 02/05/2012 08:17

There are things you'd rather watch on the tv than talk to your DH? I'd have the phone to hand to answer because there's nothing I'd rather do than have a natter with my DH in the evening.

How would you feel if you kept trying to ring him and when you eventually got through were told he'd rather just keep watching tv?

deliciousdevilwoman · 02/05/2012 08:22

I'd never ignore my DH's call-unless I was on the loo or something, but I would cut him short/say I can't talk now if I was that enthralled in something.

We both do the calling each other thing when we're a bit bored though. We speak several times-not always lengthy conversations during the day-mostly "in transit" calls :)

Boomerwang · 02/05/2012 08:23

YABU! Sorry but I'm gonna bring a morbid tone to the thread.

I'd have given anything to hear my fiance's voice over the phone when he died.

Now, don't get mad at me for ruining your fun, but you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone. Live every day like it's your last. I promise you that life is so much better that way :)