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AIBU?

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Original poster

to be furious with teacher for keeping son in at lunch time

122 replies

23balloons · 01/05/2012 17:28

Hi I have posted in SEN education but haven't had a reply.

I am feeling furious right now & plan to approach his teacher tomorrow. Briefly, I have always suspected he was dyslexic, cannot read fluently, very slow, very messy writing bad spelling etc. I recently paid for a diagnostic assessment and the assessor verbally confirmed dyslexia, said he had slow processing and trouble with long term recall, he had a vision test last year and this showed his tracking and processing problems. I have told the school and written a letter and asked for a meeting before his SATS (in a couple of weeks, he is in y6).

At parents' evening recently his teacher was implying he was lazy and would struggle to keep up at secondary school which was one of the reasons I finally went ahead with the diagnosis. She said she had been keeping him in at lunch to catch up on his work. Afterwards I felt I should have protested at this but I didn't at the time. Since I told her he was dyslexic and I would have a report soon I assumed she would realise why he wasn't keeping up. Today he has told me he has been kept in at lunch this week and will have to spend tomorrow lunch break doing work in the Heads office. I am toatlly furious as he is a very energetic boy who loves sport and I feel he needs to run around at lunch time to burn off energy.

Sould I go in all guns blazing tomorrow or wait for the report and complain?

OP posts:
Debsbear · 01/05/2012 17:32

I'd go in and ask what their reasoning is, when they are waiting for a report. I can sympathise with a teacher who thinks that he needs to catch up a bit but making him sit in with the headmaster (in our local school anyway) would be a punishment and this is not merited at this point.

WorraLiberty · 01/05/2012 17:34

To be fair a school can't take the word of a parent on a 'verbal diagnosis'

But having said that, he should be allowed out to play at lunch unless he's being deliberately naughty or lazy.

Are you sure it's all lunch every lunch or just 15 - 20 mins?

How old is he?

CailinDana · 01/05/2012 17:34

Neither. You should go in and ask what is actually happening in the class to cause the teacher to keep him in. When I was a teacher I only ever kept children back to do work at lunchtime when they were clearly slacking during class, not if they were having difficulty but really putting the effort in. A child would not be sent to the headteacher's office without very good reason. It could be that the teacher isn't taking his difficulties into account and in that case you need to hammer home the point that he is dyslexic and needs special consideration but it could also be that your son is walking around the room, chatting to other children or being disruptive in which case he deserves to be kept in. You need to find out before you take any action.

WorraLiberty · 01/05/2012 17:35

Oh I see he's in yr 6, sorry.

lumbago · 01/05/2012 17:35

Id rage everything your kid says as half the story.

And not go in guns blazing FFs.

simbo · 01/05/2012 17:36

You are right to be angry. They are not taking account of his needs as a whole. They should be managing his workload some other way. Could he come inn15 mins earlier in the morning and get a head start, for example?

Slartybartfast · 01/05/2012 17:37

these teachers set so much in store for his SATS. it seems to me that this is the reason. they are next week arent they?
so one more week and he will be ok. in the end it is meant to be for his improvement perhaps. give him a better chance? i dont think you shoudl be furious.

UnChartered · 01/05/2012 17:39

I would also maybe keep the guns at half cock until i'd been in to see exactly what has happened.

DD (working dx - ASD) is painstakingly slow at times and would sometimes relish the thought at being in a quiet place to get on with her work Confused

gafhyb · 01/05/2012 17:39

It's bad this has not been picked up before. YANBU to feel aggrieved.

I would strongly consider that the teacher, under pressure from the school, govt, etc, is feeling pressure re: SATs results and is going overboard. I feel v sorry for your DS. If he is dyslexic and has been struggling with this for years this will only feel like punishment.

I would never advise going in all guns blazing, but I would ask for a meeting between yourself, the teacher, and the head (or head of year if there is one) OR the SENCO

Sirzy · 01/05/2012 17:41

That depends why they kept him in. If they kept him in because he made no effort or he was messing around then that's fair enough. If they kept him in because he hadn't understood work then that's wrong.

You need to talk to the teacher, certainly don't go in all guns blazing

Flightty · 01/05/2012 17:41

No it's wrong. If he is having problems keeping up NOT because of mucking about/talking etc then he needs help within lesson time, not during what are very very necessary break times (esp for boys)

I am Angry on your and his behalf
But do talk to them rather than attack/accuse, I imagine they will say he wasn't paying attention/was talking in class etc

that's what they always said to me anyway but strangely it didn't happen again after I complained.

GateGipsy · 01/05/2012 17:41

can you arrange to talk to the SENCO too? Also is there a recovery teacher in the school? I had several long chats with ours as I'm worried that my son might be dyslexic (his dad is, so is his brother). It was good to do this, as they've monitored it closely. As he's in year 2 they've tested him but it isn't conclusive. I have been told by the school that they find too many false positives and negatives for it to be reliable, until they reach year 4. So by Year 6 it should be clear in testing whether he is dyslexic or not. The school should be able to test him (or at least ours does, with parent's permission). Additionally, see if they can put him down for the educational psychologist. The Ed. Psych at your school may only come out when requested - and it can take three months around here. This was very helpful in our case in backing up with the SENCO that my son's problems at that time were physical in cause, and not behavioural.

TBH I would have thought that at this stage - by year six- your school would have offered your son more support as it sounds like he needs it. If he's really slacking like the school thinks, and he's getting lunchtime detention in the head's office, then surely they should be outlining the problem with you, and working with you to figure out a plan to help your son get back on track?

Primafacie · 01/05/2012 17:41

Never a good idea to go all guns blazing.

Your son may or may not be dyslexic, he may or may not have been lazy/naughty. You don't know the full story. Just ask the teacher for her version.

WorraLiberty · 01/05/2012 17:41

And actually you know...

It would be a very bad teacher who would tell a child he didn't need to catch up the week before his SATs, without actually knowing he's dyslexic.

As soon as they see the diagnosis, I'm sure they can put a special educational plan in place for him.

LeeCoakley · 01/05/2012 17:43

Yes, firstly check that how much of the lunch break he's working, the teacher will also want a break! In a way, she's doing him a favour by trying to get him to finish work.

Original poster
23balloons · 01/05/2012 17:43

Thanks for the replies so far. i will try to calm down a bit. i have emailed the assessor and she said the report will be ready tomorrow and she will email it to me in the morning.

I am angry because I have been suggesting he might be dyslexic for years to be told "no" by various teachers. He is approx level 3/4 in writing but 5 in everything else.

When he had the assessment the assessor said she could tell he was putting in massive effort with the tests and he was in physical pain while writing. He has never read a book and he is 11 so imo there is obviously an actual problem rather than just laziness.

I spoke to the head about the diagnosis and the first words she said were "it's too late now, he has his SATS in a month".

OP posts:
minimisschief · 01/05/2012 17:45

diagnosis or not he still needs to catch up

seeker · 01/05/2012 17:45

But bear in mind that just because he's dyslexic doesn't mean that he can't also be naughty, lazy or mess about! Get both sides of the story before you blast anyone!

Original poster
23balloons · 01/05/2012 17:46

He has told me he was kept in the whole lunch break yesterday and today and has already been told he will spend his whole lunch break catching up with work tomorrow. Surely an 11 year old needs a break? He has loads of homework to do tonight too.

OP posts:
soverylucky · 01/05/2012 17:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty · 01/05/2012 17:47

What physical pain was he in?

UnChartered · 01/05/2012 17:47

does he have packed lunch or school meals?

Slartybartfast · 01/05/2012 17:47

perhaps he is not the only one, i have heard of other childrne have catch up lessons, before school, after school whatnot.
you can all breath a sigh of relief once he bloody sats are over and your report about his dyslexia can accompanying him to his senior school.

seeker · 01/05/2012 17:53

Here, have this pinch of salt......!

JosieZ · 01/05/2012 17:54

Maybe it is a good thing he is made to keep up. Could he do it at home?

Think some expert advice is needed.