To unhappy with unexpected all day school closure?

[sparkle12mar08]

The parent of a child in our school passed away last week extremely suddenly and unexpectedly. The parent was liked and respected throughout the school and was an active member of the parents association, a cross year group classroom helper, and also a parent governor. Many, many children, staff and parents will miss them deeply. However we have recieved an email today stating that the school have also taken the decision to close all day on the day of the funeral next week "as a mark of respect and to allow staff and parents" the chance to attend the funeral service. This means that something like 140 families now have to find a days unexpected childcare for nearly 220 children with barely a week's notice, and many parents will in fact be unable to attend the service precisely because they are looking after their children, possibly having had to take the day of work to do so.

I understand entirely the wish to mark the passing with respect, and am not of the opinion that school and education is nothing more than free childcare. However I do not think that closing the entire school is necessary or indeed useful for the children. In complete contrast to this situation, my oldest friend also passed away two weeks ago and her funeral is tomorrow at 2:30pm :( The staff at her daughter's school (different town entirely) have voluntarily offered to run a special two hour after school club to allow the children of all the parents attending to be safe and happy until their parents get back from the service, cremation and wake. To me that's far more respectful and allows many more people to attend than closing the school would. I appreciate that it means most staff will not be able to attend but surely a small two or three person delegation is appropriate, perhaps the head and relevant class teachers?

So, am I unreasonable to be unhappy at such short notice, and do you think the school could/should have handled arrangements differently? I am not unemotional about this my the way, but I am trying to keep that in check.

I have spent my whole working career putting my job first, the thought that I will also have to plan my bloody funeral around my job sends shivers down my spine.

I know people can be taken from us at any time only too well - I lost my only grandparent at 17, my mum at 18, my dad at 22 and I'm an only child - all anniversaries in March. Old uni friends also lost a baby at 1 day old in early Feb, my beloved uncle died in late Feb, my oldest friend died three weeks ago and her funeral is tomorrow, and we have another friend who is also likely to die before the year is out. People have indeed put themselves out for me when I've needed them, more than I would ever have expected. I would never expect or want the school to close if either myself or my husband were to die, I can't see the point. Maybe I'm too jaded, seen too much death, and yes I want the world to stop and realise what good, good people have been lost, but you know what? It doesn't, it just doesn't. And it stinks losing someone oh I know that well and we're powerless to change it.

And if it makes any odds my father was a teacher and when he died his school were amazing - they printed all the stuff we needed, helped me sort his work based stuff out, gave the children in his class the afternoon off if they wanted it, sent some truly stunning flowers, the Head did a reading, and they just generally made things a lot easier. The turnout of staff and children was great and they managed to do it without closing the school. I should never have posted I see that now, but well, I did, and I'll take it on the chin.

Could they not of had the funeral at 4.30pm?

Do the teachers get paid for this day off?

Surely not every teacher wants to go some could stay and look after the kids that can't get chidlcare.

Iamme - do you really expect a family to arrange a funeral around the times of a school? I have never been in a position to get much say as to what time a funeral is anyway it normally comes down to what time everything is available.

I really can't see how anyone can begrudge them ONE day to say goodbye to a friend and colleague.

Pmsl at iamme!

Sorry for your losses sparkle. I've lost two family members in quick succession recently and whilst driving recently we almost go caught up in a head on collision with a lorry and I suppose that has shaken me up.
But damitt, I know the world does not stop, but you'd think that it would slow down just a bit to notice..

Yes hold the funeral at 4:30 and make sure it is quick so that everyone can get back to their marking for 5pm.

Wow, seems some of you see a person's death as such an inconvenience.
:(

Nice :)

I think the school are being completely disingenuous about this tbh. Let's be honest - the vast vast majority of primary age children are not going to be attending a funeral. The reason the school wants to close is because the staff want to go - they should be being up-front about that IMO.

One of the teachers at my daughters school sadly passed away last week. They are closing the school on Thursday for her funeral, yes it's inconvenient, I've taken a days leave.

BUT its a small school and I completely understand all staff will want to go. So I'm happy for them to close on that very sad day.

YANBU

I remember a teacher died when I was at secondary school - the school timetable was altered, I can't remember exactly how, I think we had our own service. I do remmebr it was in the morning and I think the older pupils could attend the funeral (I know different at primary). I was about 12/13 at the time, the funeral cortege drove past the school and we were all lined up outside.

In the afternoon we were back to normall lessons, and what I do remember is it was the first time a I saw a teacher cry.

The school should be open, even if it is just for childcare, maybe with things altered

You are not at all being unreasonable Seems like a case of grief inflation.

I don't think the OP is being unreasonable.

It is very sad but work places cannot close for the day just because a member of staff dies. Normally 1 or 2 staff have a couple of hours off to attend the funeral and the rest cover for them.

The school should show their respect in some way....Maybe as sashh suggests.

When my eldest was at school a small child died in the playground and staff tried mouth to mouth unsucessfully. It was truly awful for the whole school (sibs were pupils too). On the day of the funeral only the DC class teacher and HT had any time off. The school held a special service and the vicar came in. They planted a flowering cherry that's in full flower now.

Sorry . I must read things properly it wasn't a teacher.

Yabu - it's one day - I'm sure you have a friend who can help you out surely. The lady has died, her children don't have a mummy anymore - get some perspective.

Grief inflation?
My friend died, she was a key figure in the school although not a teacher. The school closed, the community understood and have also pulled together to help raise and support her four children in the intervening decade. We have a memorial feature and she is still remembered.
And all you can think of is the inconvenience? That they should have organised the funeral outside business hours?

I don't think it's a case of selfishness, moaning at inconvenience of death or putting a day's pay ahead of a life at all!

To me, it sounds like the issue is this:
The school is closing for the day meaning that teachers can attend the funeral but most parents (who after all were this lady's main peer group and will be her closer friends NOT the teachers) will not now be able to go because of childcare.

So, this lady's funeral will be full of teachers attending due to professionalism and respect but missing her friends who would have attended out of grief and friendship.

It seems the wrong way around to me and the teachers would be more professional and respectful to offer childcare in order to allow all parents to attend.

if she was a governor and a parent helper, it is just as likely she had a relationship with the teachers and staff as with the other parents.

and am I missing something, why would having kids stop you going to a funeral? :scratch:

I'm not sure you can have a funeral as late as 4.30pm.
And frankly, why should they have to?

They should not have to they can have the funeral when they like but I do not see why the school should be closed.

Do the teachers get paid and what happens to the so many days the school has to be open, has this all just gone out of the window.

And woe betide the school if a childs relation passes away and the school refuse the day off as unauthorized absence.

I am on the side of the op.

Of course you can have a funeral at 4.30..................... I went to one recently at 6pm and it was arranged so lots of people could attend and did'nt have to take days of work and their children could attend if appropriate.

An evening funeral may not be acceptable but nor is shutting a school because of one.

A few representatives could go, and I say again woe betide the head if someone gets an unauthorized absence if their family need to attend a funeral.