about this 'just get a job' malarkey

[boschy]

I am musing aloud here. I have been looking for a part-time job for a couple of months now to supplement my freelance income. I don't want a full-time job, I've already got a freelance role. But I would like a 'proper' job for various reasons - more money, more social interaction, more structure, less precarious than freelance etc. We currently receive no benefits (apart from CB) although if I can't increase my income we might be able to claim WTC. I would prefer a job.

However, all the jobs in my area are things like care assistant/catering/HGV or forklift driver. I totally respect the people who do these jobs and I very much doubt I have the ability to do any of them (lack of empathy and dodgy back/no culinary skills/no spatial awareness respectively.)

Moving out of the area in order to find a job is not practical (DD1 in Y10 hence GCSEs; costs and time involved in house sale; DH's business is based near here).

So, when people say "there are jobs" or "any job is better than no job" do they really mean that? Should you take a job you will probably be rubbish at, or should you let someone else have that job?

mistyO "Can i just throw in that the above should apply to those taking work in schools too. Many women turn to part time work in local schools (teaching assistants, SN support, lunchtime supervisors ect) purely because it's a perfect way to get round the school holiday problem. I've seen first hand many examples of 'it's not what you know, it's who you know' with regards to securing the job and so often these people have NO empathy with the children whatsoever. " definitely agree about some of these people!

I agree too misty

It often annoys me too when someone says they need a job but can't afford childcare...and people suggest they become a Childminder!

yes worra!! you (one) should only be a childminder/nurse/carer/etc if you have an empathy with those you will be minding/nursing/caring/whatevering.

when you choose a childminder or a nursery, you do so on the basis that the people there offer the kind of care you are looking for for your child, not just because it's 'a place for them to go'.

That's it boschy

Anyway, fuck working with other people's babies and kids

I can just about stand my own

OP is not 'not working', mumsy, but trying to find more work!

Boschy, our situations are scarily similar (20 years since I last applied for a job and was actually offered it, anyhow, though I've been fairly successfully freelance for 16).

We're an hourly bus from the nearest town, too, and oldest child is 18 miles from his school and social circle. Not much chance of selling the house at the moment, either.

well, exactly... if I'd wanted to be a childminder, that's what I'd have started out doing! (ours was fabulous, and they have been family friends since DDs started going there 13 years ago - but she has a real brilliance with kids which I, sadly, dont have. however, even she says old people are not for her).

trapped in rural bliss lancelottie? it has its ups and downs...

Here's a thought I'm toying with. If you do currently have hours 'free', could you offer yourself as a senior version of the work experience kid to a few places, fitting it around your current freelance work? Sell it to them as free labour whilst you 'update your skills for the modern market' or something, and see if they can grow to love you?

yes, current 'up' is that I went for a run this morning whilst waiting for work to come in, and saw hares going nuts in the field.

I have also toyed with that, but through volunteering in a particular dept of a local charity where my skills would 'fit' and thought I could make contacts/sharpen up a bit. Nothing has come of it yet though; they want people to volunteer on reception 7 days a week 7.30am-7.30pm on shifts and I cant actually see that getting me further into a job.

Plus DH works long hours often including Sat; I try and hang onto Sundays as family time but if I am travelling for work then often have to leave on a Sunday afternoon/evening.

So its not straightforward really.

Worra I'm criticising the idea that parents aren't 'there' for their children if they are working full-time, which is a perfectly normal thing to do, because it's possible to be emotionally available and supportive in the hours you have left. I am pointing out that teenagers are often out at school for most of the week and when socializing, and so it's not like a small baby who really does require hand-on care 24/7 or a small child who is in bed by 7. You can therefore fit in the listening/supporting/being together around work, just as you do with your relationship. The benefits system reflects this, which is why when the youngest is six, they are reduced/moved to looking for work.

If you want to prioritise spending even more time than that, and you have the economic means to do so, you can!

The one thing this thread has shown me is that there are disadvantages to living in nice villages in the middle of nowhere (I do think about this every now and again). I do agree once you are geographically isolated, you then become the taxi driver for the family, and this will limit your work options.

Boschy if you can't tell your left from your right you would never get the job anyway. If they put you forward for it at the job centre you would fail at interview stage.

I don't think it's about the type of job it's about money. If you need the money, you probably do have to be prepared to do any job. You can be put forward for jobs but if you don't have the skills at Interview you wouldn't get the job anyway. If you went for a carers job and didn't seem very caring anther person would get the Job.

If you can manage on tax credits until you find the job you want then do that. If not then the only answer is is to take any job and brush up on your skills eg adopt a more caring attitude.

Just want to add that i'm sat here reading AIBU instead of doing some job hunting online myself. The idea is terrifying me. 40 something, out of work for 18 months, out of practice at interviews, never had to properly job seek before - always 'walked' into jobs in the past. (also one who needs school holidays off )

I have 3DDs, my eldest is struggling to find work (rural area, she wants work with horses/vet practice perhaps) and as she left college i was confident my DH and i would help her find a job and all would be well. Even if it had to be a stop gap job while she searched for a job she could get her teeth into. I think i probably even said the words - "oh just get any job for now" at some point last year when she left college. Oh how wrong were we? It's a nightmare out there. Hundereds of CVs being handed in on a weekly basis to companys who havnt even advertised a vacancy in some cases.

Poor girl is now in the same boat as so many of our youngsters - trying to start out in life and cannot get a rung on the job ladder. I'd love a fairly undemanding part time job, and we need the money to boost the household income, but feel awful looking at the same time as DD in case i get one first! Unlikely, but if it did happen I'd feel like i was stealing hers. Daft i know.

Mumsy just because someone wants to be there full time for their kids during the holidays, doesn't mean they think other parents aren't 'there' and supportive for their kids.

It just means they're doing what's right for them and their family.

Hi misty,

Where abouts do you live?

Aww you sound lovely.. I'm sure you will both find Jobs.

It's tough out there

Nothing is starighforward in any household really though, you just make things work. Both of us work one or other day at the weekend, every week. I work an evening a week, It IS a royal PITA sometimes.

Hi Rachy We're in deepest Northants. South Nothants. It IS so tough out there. We have the added problem there's no public transport after 6 in the evenings and none at all on Sundays. So many potential employers are asking that their aplicants are available for work 7 days a week ... Just cant be done round here if you havn't a car.

(Or a parent who's happy to get up and drive you into town every bloomin Sunday morning, and then go pick you up again)

misty I agree with everything you say. one thing I am very happy about at the moment is at least mine are both still in school (Y10 and Y8) - I hope by the time they come out things will have improved for them. and that something comes up for your daughter soon.

if I had to get up and drive mine to work then I will; but really I sometimes wonder why we took the rural bliss option. Yes I love it, but if 12 years ago I had known some of the realities I might have thought again.

Mine are in Y6 and Y8, and both want to go to university. Years ago, I would have been proud and delighted. Now I'm thinking of the debt and encouraging them to watch The Apprentice!

We live in a village on the train line, but the bus service has been really cut in recent years. And the fares are so expensive, too.

Misty, good luck for you and your daughter (and boschy, too, of course)

Well, i've told my DD if getting the job really hinges on doing the odd Sunday then of course we'll help out. She's taking driving lessons, so ... fingers crossed.

I left West London with my nowXH 12 years ago to live here. I saw the best of the 80s in London while i was a teen, Boschy, and sometimes feel guilty that my 3 won't experience the same fun. But i never actualy regret moving. The place i grew up isnt the same anymore and i doubt i would be giving my DDs the same freedom they have out here if we were back in London. Our village is a gentle place. It makes me smile when i hear the true locals despairing of the rise in crime rate when the only awful thing thats happened in the last week is some daffodils on the green have been squashed! Do you really regret moving out Boschy?

Totally off thread, sorry.

Yes, good luck to everyone with their job hunt

And YES! The fares here are sky high too!

No, I dont regret moving out of London, and I love our house (we are vvvv close to the sea). But I do think it is hard when the kids are older - very limited public transport, none after a certain time of night; village jobs are few and far between and go to the kids of the village families iyswim (so someone's idea up above that kids can work from the age of 13 just prompted hollow laughter I'm afraid).

we lived in London from about 81-99 - fantastic years in so many ways - although I am rather older than you misty!! couldnt live there again now.

I rather hanker for moving into our local town or one of the villages in a more accessible area - but mortgage wise we are trapped - so with the benefit of hindsight we might not have made the same decision.

cretaceous I have swung round in my opinions re university - first I thought great, then I thought 'think of the debt' and now I am veering back towards thinking that some/any qualification is better than none so maybe it's a good idea again.

I work in a call centre evenings, weekends and nights. I scaled down my CV, I made alot of being an 'assistant' in various roles ( even though I was the counterpart) and in the end got the job through word of mouth. We really need the money donut is a relief and at least I have some time with the kids and don't have to fork out for much childcare.

I've got used to people thinking I'm thick ( I have a good degree, a professional career and am half way through a second degree) and being patronised by others. I just suck it up and keep my eye on the prize, a well paid proper job in 3 years time once I have my qualifications.

There are jobs out there. But it's matter of luck whether you get them and whether you can make it work for your family.

Can I recommend cheffing as a job and in particular pastry cheffing. Decent, reliable, mature chefs are like gold dust - and pastry chefs are like hens teeth. I have had a couple of job offers this year without even actively seeking to get back into it (used to be a pastry chef, now work for police). Hospitality in general is a good industry to be in, there is a lot of movement and if you get into management it's a really good career and not necessarily unconducive to family life

People who work in call centres too may beg to differ that theirs isn't a 'proper job' aboutlastnight