about this 'just get a job' malarkey

[boschy]

I am musing aloud here. I have been looking for a part-time job for a couple of months now to supplement my freelance income. I don't want a full-time job, I've already got a freelance role. But I would like a 'proper' job for various reasons - more money, more social interaction, more structure, less precarious than freelance etc. We currently receive no benefits (apart from CB) although if I can't increase my income we might be able to claim WTC. I would prefer a job.

However, all the jobs in my area are things like care assistant/catering/HGV or forklift driver. I totally respect the people who do these jobs and I very much doubt I have the ability to do any of them (lack of empathy and dodgy back/no culinary skills/no spatial awareness respectively.)

Moving out of the area in order to find a job is not practical (DD1 in Y10 hence GCSEs; costs and time involved in house sale; DH's business is based near here).

So, when people say "there are jobs" or "any job is better than no job" do they really mean that? Should you take a job you will probably be rubbish at, or should you let someone else have that job?

Of course if you want a job that allows you to stay home with your teenagers in the holidays, employers aren't going to be rushing to employ you. Come on, something has to give if you really want to work!

I totally get there aren't many jobs out there but mysteriously all the Eastern European friends I have (DH's country) have jobs, they work in care work (yes, what's wrong with caring for older people?), nursing, pizza delivery, tutors, set up their own businesses or, if they have a good profession like dentistry, work part-time and yes, many of them have children too.

I am a bit :( that people don't want to take jobs as their children will be deprived (of what?) in the school holidays. Take your holiday entitlement then, look into local cheap council playschemes (our local one is brilliant, swimming every day, art/nature/play activities all for about half price of normal childcare), swap children with friends, work from home. Do all of the above for six weeks, I do it every year! You don't need to feel sorry for my children going to holiday club say three weeks out of six, it's the highlight of their holidays and do all the adventure days/fun days out I can't be bothered to do! But, even if they hated it, which they don't, I think maintaining my job is more important as a whole to our family life, so that's what would happen.

"Turning to the job section in the local paper, usually it's Anne Summers party planner, kleeneze, and things like escorts, lady mud wrestler type jobs."

Hmm. Lady mud wrestler. Maybe I could do that. :o

Not sure OP needs playschemes for a 15-yr-old, Mumsy. It's fair enough to consider what they'd do when they haven't previously been used to sorting themselves out. I just don't think it can be a deciding factor

Mumsyblouse How much do the holiday clubs cost? The holiday club at my kids's school costs £50 per day for two children which is a lot.

According to the advert, you can get fit, have fun, and earn money at the same time!

I have a nice little job that I found online after nine years at home, started on a stupidly small contract which, over years I've built up and DH and I share the childcare. This works for us and you have to be prepared to give and take. It rarely happens that you'll walk into a job with perfect hours and school hols off, you have to earn these things in some jobs. Work weekends, evenings, nothing comes on a plate.

I think what you do during the school holidays once DC are too old for clubs etc is a huge issue.

I personally do think that ANYONE can get a job, but obviously not EVERYONE. There aren't enough.

So you have to work harder to get it than the others, and be more flexible. It's an employers market.

This might not be palatable to you. Most likely it isn't palatable to others, so that is why if you do it, you'll get it.

11.01 post was answer to crumpety, more people posted since.

You have to take the 'Start small - work up' mentality, once you're in, you're in at lots of places so you can negociate hours/hols more to suit you once you're more established.

That's why I want a PART-TIME job. I dont mind not being here all hours of the day, or working odd hours (self-employed, I do that anyway including weekends and evenings). But I dont want to be out 8-6 5 days a week with 2 teenagers in the house over the holidays; I dont think it's fair on them. 2 or 3 days would be manageable.

We live in the back end of beyond, 1 bus an hour to a small town - nothing for them to do there but shop (=££). They are too old for childcare, too young to drive. They could go to friends or have friends round, but how many of you would feel comfortable doing that all day every day? Teens are just as needy as little ones, but in a different way.

And before anyone says 'move' - the property market is not exactly booming is it? and it's expensive even assuming you can sell.

And mumsy to answer your point about care work, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it, I think people who do it are (or should be) saints. However, I lack empathy with old people and small children (apart from those related to me and it's a pretty fine line even with some of those) - I dont think you would WANT me caring for someone you love, knowing that I didnt care at least a little about them would you?

Cleaning people's houses can be flexible, and you can start small by answering one advert and work up, adding more, and they are generally very appreciative of your work ime.

I think though that those of us who are overqualified really do have to dumb down the cv, though. Being flexible isn't enough, as there are now plenty of other flexible people.

Incidentally, I also took off my age/date of birth on my cv, as well as some of my qualifications before I got any interviews! I'm almost 50.

Like Ken says, I'm taking the start small work up approach. I'll let you know in a couple of years if I'm still at the bottom rung...

PS re cleaning, I do have some (well qualified!) friends who are doing that, as it is paid quite well here, but they are getting close to 50 now, and it's no fun if you have a bad back!

x posts OP. I agree about teenagers, ok to leave tham some of the time, (once you know they will remember to lock the door if they go out, have rules about using cookong appliances etc.), but not all week.

I'm a cleaner, not a domestic one and I've been able to move around in the job market. I'm lucky my job is within school hours for my older child and I can rely on family to help with the younger one and the baby. However I work weekends and a night as well which is harder to manage.

How do you know you'll be rubbish at a job without doing it, I take your point re caring professions but I hate cleaning at home, as is evident if you visit but I'm bloody good at my job.

I wasn't suggesting childcare for a 15 year old, that as a reason not to work is actually laughable (they could be employed themselves a few hours a week from 13 fgs).

I was referring to pokerface's remark about her 6 year old.

I'm not for 'abandoning small babies' and all that (not that I see childcare like that myself), but children aren't scarred by going to school every day, why would them having holiday school (which is what it is) be problematic? In many countries, they have 2/3 months holiday and the parents pay for their holiday/school camps as no-one could think about not occupying their children for that length of time.

I suggested checking out the local council playactivities as these are often cheaper than private run school-based clubs, Crumpetty, our private one is about the same as yours £20/25 per child. The local council one is £11 a day and less for the second child, and you can pay extra £ til 5. I live in a cheap part of the country, though, there's no doubt London prices would be twice that.

I'm not criticising anyone for not working, if you have the means not to work and want to be there for your children in the holidays (whatever that means, I'm still 'there' for mine, just after 5pm). That's a lifestyle choice and a very nice one. But, if you need to work to survive/keep off benefits/you like your job, then I wouldn't let lack of holiday care put you off, you just build it in to the whole package.

That's true Cretaceous, on reflection, I often say I couldn't do more cleaning jobs due to bad back.It's only ok if very part time really and the older you get, the more likely not to be up to it.

I haven't worked for nearly 19 years

I've spent the last 5 years studying for a degree but no one seems to want a 44 year old. There are very few jobs out there for what i qualified in and I'm beginning to think that I will have to abandon getting a job related to my degree and just go with anything.

I am proud of my degree but I am that in reality it seems to be 5 years wasted.
I will not be encouraging my DD's to become SAHMs

I saw a job for a stress engineer this morning. I'm quite good at engineering my own stress but I'm not sure it's quite what they have in mind!

You've, this recession won't last for ever, and your degree might then be useful as a stepping stone/basic requirement for something else. It is frustrating though, when you have qualifications and everyone doesn't want them, or wants different ones.

I do think, though, in a recession you have to accept that the employers are the ones doing the picking and choosing. So, putting lots of caveats on your employment (I want to pick up the kids every day from school, I want to start work after I've dropped them off, I want to not work school holidays) will restrict choices, and people don't always think creatively about how to overcome them (I know lots of mums who drop at breakfast club and run, but do the school pick up, for example).

I agree about the 'need to care' being a priority for care workers.

Can i just throw in that the above should apply to those taking work in schools too. Many women turn to part time work in local schools (teaching assistants, SN support, lunchtime supervisors ect) purely because it's a perfect way to get round the school holiday problem. I've seen first hand many examples of 'it's not what you know, it's who you know' with regards to securing the job and so often these people have NO empathy with the children whatsoever.

Makes me to see it.

Cat, well done on getting the degree. There are plenty of women who weren't SAHM who are in the same position as you. Plenty of men, too. It's the economic situation.

nowthenwreck your post has been extremely helpful. Thank you.

Interesting what you say about applying for supermarkets - I'll remember to tell them that at the JC when they put me forward for retail work.

There is some really helpful stuff on this thread, thank you cretaceous about the comment about taking your age and year of birth off the CV. And also to northernwreck in general and specifically in relation to the supermarket jobs.

Part of my problem is that I have not applied for a job for about 20 years - built my freelance work from a 3 month project into a full time job and before that was in an industry where who you know mattered as much as anything.

I'm really out of practice and finding it hard to know how to get things going more positively.

I too will not be advising my DDs to be SAHMs - although ironically I never actually have been one myself for any length of time.

I'm not criticising anyone for not working, if you have the means not to work and want to be there for your children in the holidays (whatever that means, I'm still 'there' for mine, just after 5pm)

I think it's quite obvious what it means

You may not be criticising but you are being quite dismissive imo.