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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be furious with DH???

62 replies

DontCallMeMummyPig · 30/04/2012 22:02

We've just moved to Manchrster from London. We needed our London house repainted quickly before our new tenants moved in. Our regular decorator was unavailable so we desperately asked round our friends if they knew anyone. One recommended a friend of his who would do the work cash in hand. They met DH at the house, DH paid him upfront. The work was done in time. Now though, this guy is claiming DH never paid him. DH is convinced he did. His bank records show he took out £300 cash that day. He says we should refuse to pay again. I say we need to, a) cos he's a friend of a friend, b) just to be decent, however annoying it is. DH is now fuming with me for supposedly not siding with him and presuming he's got it wrong over the money. I've just stormed off to bed. Would you pay...again, maybe...just to close the door on it?

OP posts:
LisaD1 · 30/04/2012 22:04

No, I would not pay again if I was certain I had already paid, why would anyone pay for the job to be done twice?

Is your DH certain he paid? If not what did he do with the cash?

squeakytoy · 30/04/2012 22:04

I certainly would not pay someone twice, but are you sure your husband is telling the truth.. nobody forgets if they have paid £300 in cash to someone surely???

ArtVandelay · 30/04/2012 22:07

No way! And surely your DH knows if he handed him 300? or not? Does he drink a lot or something? Someone is lying and I hope its the decorator.

ArtVandelay · 30/04/2012 22:07

x-posts with Squeaky :)

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 30/04/2012 22:08

I'm with your DH. Although he was stupid to not get a receipt.

Original poster
DontCallMeMummyPig · 30/04/2012 22:14

He says he's 99% sure he paid but doesn't actually physically remember doing it. He didn't come home with the cash so it must have gone somewhere. I just don't want to cause a problem with my good friend who suggested him, as he's a good friend of hers too. DH is quite forgetful sometimes and was daft not to get a receipt. Argh!

OP posts:
Vinomcstephens · 30/04/2012 22:17

Basically, your DH knows if he paid or if he didn't. I mean, come off it, there's no WAY anyone in their right minds could be ambivalent as to whether they paid £300 to someone for work they did, you know if the money changed hands or if you pocketed it! So ultimately, do you trust your DH? Do you trust that he's not the kind of person who would knowingly cheat someone and purposefully not pay them money they'd honestly earned? if so, then you have to accept he paid it and this friend of a friend is trying it on - so under no circumstances pay him again! Or....do you not trust your DH?

fairyfriend · 30/04/2012 22:17

How long ago was this? How can he not remember? He needs to go over it in his mind and bloody remember! It can't be that hard, surely??

Dozer · 30/04/2012 22:18

Why do you trust some random person's word over your DH's?

ArtVandelay · 30/04/2012 22:20

I'm not buying this at all. Its 300?! I'm not poor but I know when I've payed someone 30?! Unless it's because you are mega-rich and then you should just pay him again and shame on you for not doing it through the books. No one is that forgetful - its a significant event - get the house painted and pay 300? Its not like buying a curlywurly.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 30/04/2012 22:20

Your loyalty lies with your dh, not your friend. Can you trust your DH? If you can, then you need to side with him. If you can't, you have bigger things to worry about.

Vinomcstephens · 30/04/2012 22:20

Sorry dontcall cross posted with you! I think my post makes it sound like you might have cause to distrust your DH which really isn't what I meant! Its just that I've walked out of a cafe before thinking "did I pay for that coffee?" cos I'm a bit scatter brained, but £300 is just such a lot of money to not remember paying!

IAmBooyhoo · 30/04/2012 22:24

would your dh often forget handing £300 over tom someone? i mean, that's a shitload of cash/. it's not something you would lose down teh back of the sofa. if i had £300 cash on me i'd be sweating until i had it handed over.

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/04/2012 22:27

DH needs a 300 pound lesson. If he has to pay again or maybe not he will learn two things, first NEVER GIVE CASH WITHOUT GETTING A RECEIPT. Because it is utterly stupid. Secondly, not to be such a scatter-brained numpty. Well worth 300 quid in my book. He doesn't remember, my arse.

McHappyPants2012 · 30/04/2012 22:29

what else would he have done with £300.

i suppose that is the risk of paying cash in hand, there is no record.

Lovelynewboots · 30/04/2012 22:32

The decorator is lying. No decent tradesman asks for cash in hand up front and does not provide a receipt. Tell him to whistle out his arse and don't give him any more money.

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/04/2012 22:34

But, Lovely if the tradesperson didn't get any money at all, that would explain the lack of a receipt.

squeakytoy · 30/04/2012 22:35

People dont give receipts for cash in hand work generally.

If you gave someone £300 you would remember. You would remember them counting it, and you would remember giving it to them.

I really cant see that the decorator would be lying tbh.

Nobody would expect someone to forget giving them money, and he would just have done the work.

RevoltingPeasant · 30/04/2012 22:35

YANBU to be annoyed with DH for not getting a receipt.

YWBU to not even contemplate paying in this situation though. Tough one - I'd say the same as lovely were it not for the fact that he is a friend of a friend and so possibly didn't think of this.

RevoltingPeasant · 30/04/2012 22:36

Although obv as Mrs TP says, if DH didn't pay him of course there would be no receipt.

Does DH have form for this kind of thing?

Lovelynewboots · 30/04/2012 22:41

If the agreement was to pay him up front with cash then why did he start the job? And of course people don't give receipts for cash in hand work. That is why it is obvious to me he is not a proper tradesperson.

jennywren123 · 30/04/2012 22:42

Perhaps your DH did give him him the money but the decorator forgot, if he does a lot of jobs where he's paid in cash, then perhaps he's got confused.

squeakytoy · 30/04/2012 22:45

Plenty of decent tradesmen do cash jobs... Hmm

Particularly if they are doing it as a favour to a mate...

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/04/2012 22:56

I have problems finding anyone who won't ask for cash in hand. I like paying taxes and still having roads and schools.

Lovelynewboots · 30/04/2012 23:00

My DP is an electrician and he has done cash work for friends before but I have lost count of the amount of people who ask me to get him to do work for them because they don't want to pay the going rate. He generally shies away from foreigners because they are not worth it and if you do it a lot you lose count of what you have been paid for. That is what has happened here in my opinion.