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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

RE: dirty nappies and public transport

149 replies

ThisIsANickname · 30/04/2012 16:08

About 5 minutes into my journey into work this morning, the train carriage I was on began to smell and it became very apparent very quickly that the source was a baby's dirty nappy.

Fine. Babies do that. No one blames the child.

But the mother, who had a seat just behind the pram, decided that the best way to deal with this was to change her baby right there on a rush hour train. She lay them down (awkwardly as there wasn't much room) on the seat she had been on, and proceeded to change the soiled nappy.

It was horrendous.

AIBU thinking that this was completely wrong? I mean, really? EEW!

OP posts:

SardineQueen · 01/05/2012 12:33

While I think it is utterly gross I'm not sure what she was supposed to do

If she had gone on to find a toilet at street level it would have involved
Getting baby off tube in rush hour
Prob long walk and escalators
Using ticket to get out so if it wasn't a travelcard that's her ticket gone
Looking around for somewhere to change and finding there isn't anywhere / going in and asking and possibly being told no unless you buy something
Finding somewhere and changing (or not finding somewhere TBH)
Back to tube and buy another ticket
Down escalators and through crowds
Unable to get onto tube again with pushchair due to rush-hour
Waiting til rush-hour over
Continuing on journey

I don't think it is reasonable to expect her to do that.

forevergreek · 01/05/2012 13:08

I could see if taking hours if baby pooed more than once? On/ off train every time, waiting for new one, get back on 10 mins later poo again, off/ toilet hunt/ yet another ticket...

suburbandream · 01/05/2012 13:14

Well, I don't see what else she could have done TBH, I can't imagine she'd want to squeeze her way down the aisle of a packed train (thus losing her seat and having to stand afterwards for the rest of the journey) to the loo which probably didn't have a changing table anyway and was probably far less hygenic for the baby too. As for getting off the train - was she expected to get off at a station she didn't know and hunt round for a loo? In my experience, most loos on train stations seem to be permanently locked due to vandalism/lack of staff etc.

GetTheeToANunnery · 01/05/2012 13:16

I've always wondered what to do in this situation. I was on a long (over an hour) bus journey once with ds who was about 19 months at the time. He did a big poo 20 mins into the journey and it STUNK!
In the end I apologised to the people sitting closest to me and changed his nappy as quickly as I could and put it in a nappy bag.

Would that have been ok with you op?

DialsMavis · 01/05/2012 13:16

Its 15 mins though, do you all really pull over the car to change a nappy?

MrsMicawber · 01/05/2012 13:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Krumbum · 01/05/2012 13:22

Seems like in that situation there wasnt much choice so it's best to do it than have a sore baby. But changing a pooey nappy in a resturant like others have described is gross and unnessecary because there are suitable toilets available and you aren't trapped like on a train. poo and food don't mix.

AllYoursBabooshka · 01/05/2012 13:24

15 minutes of DS sitting in a dirty nappy would have been enough to make him blister quite badly.

We did pull over to change him, Yes.

DialsMavis · 01/05/2012 13:26

poor little thing , how do travel by motorway? does it even get through metanium? Unless she is teething DD must have the arse of a trucker I think!

TandB · 01/05/2012 13:28

YABVU

I cannot possibly imagine that the poor woman actually thought "I know what will be fun - changing a nappy on a moving tube train while everyone glares and tuts."

Travelling on a tube with a baby isn't much fun - I don't particularly like it and I use a sling so I don't even have the hassle of a pram. So the woman was probably doing an essential journey and may well not have had time to get off the tube to change the baby on the platform - no doubt surrounded by tutting, glaring commuters once again. It is massively unreasonable to expect her to get off at a random stop, which might not be accessible to buggies, and trudge up to street level and try to find somewhere to change the baby, possibly having to pay for a coffee or something in order to use the facilities at a cafe.

I would imagine that she did it then and there because she had to - she could have been on her way to a hospital appointment or anything. The baby might have very sensitive skin or scream blue murder as soon as he poos.

I had fun on the tube yesterday. DS2 has had all sorts of feeding problems (late diagnosed tongue-tie) which are mainly resolved, but if he gets overtired he goes ballistic trying to feed and then coming off and screaming. he usually falls asleep after about 5 minutes but it is a loud 5 minutes! He started this on the tube so I had to try and feed him in the sling with much wailing and thrashing around. Every time I looked up, a woman was glaring at me and trying to catch other passengers' eyes for a bit of a tut and a huff. She couldn't see anything because of the sling so clearly she just fancied a bit of good old-fashioned judgypanting. After a bit of this, she did an extra-special glare, sighed loudly and got up and stomped over to the seat beside us and sat down for some really pointed, close-up glaring and tutting! Very bizarre. And then, highly amusingly, she was so busy staring and tutting that she nearly missed her stop and had to throw herself at the doors which closed on her so she had to squeeze out and nearly lost her bag.

I gave her a big smile as we pulled away...

MrsMicawber · 01/05/2012 13:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AllYoursBabooshka · 01/05/2012 13:32

Nothing really helped, We kept him out of his nappy most of the time when he was at home. The consensus was very sensitive skin and acidy poo.

He's 4 so not much of a problem now but it was quite literally a pain in the arse when he was a baby.

Treats · 01/05/2012 13:33

Wow! Really surprised by the response here.

I regularly travelled by tube and train with DD when she was tiny and would NEVER have done this. I can remember a particularly spectacular poo when she was about 9 months old, but I waited until our stop (10 mins later) and then begged a restaurant to let me use their toilet even though I wasn't eating there. I could have got off sooner but would have had to pay the fare again to get back on the train and I was pretty broke at the time.

There was another time when were travelling from Leeds to London and I had to change her and the toilets on the train were so unpleasant that I actually cried as I laid her down (on the changing mat) on the floor. But it would never have occurred to me to have done it anywhere else on the train.

But it's a judgement call. DD was never especially prone to nappy rash, so I could afford to wait it out a bit. Those of you with more sensitive bottoms to deal with would probably have made different decisions.

AllYoursBabooshka · 01/05/2012 13:36

You should have waved kungfu. :o

Silly woman.

MrsMicawber · 01/05/2012 13:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Imsosorryalan · 01/05/2012 13:36

"get off the train and find a changing station"hahahahahahahahaha

Oh dear, some people have no idea! (wipes away tears from laughing so hard)

knowitallstrikesagain · 01/05/2012 13:41

YABU to expect her to get off the tube and find changing facilities, have you tried to find baby changing on the underground?

SheWBU not to have changed it in the pram, assuming it was a lie flat one. Can't understand why this would not have been the easiest thing to do.

choceyes · 01/05/2012 13:51

I don't think there are baby changing facilities in all tube stations, I'd thought they were only in major places like Victoria, Euston etc.

Also there are no toilets in the tube itself.

Not sure if YABU or YANBU, because in her situation I would have just waited the 15mins. But my DCs don't have sensitive skin, so it wouldn't have been a problem . Maybe this lady had a baby who gets bad nappy rash.

TattyDevine · 01/05/2012 13:53

Hmmm, if it was me, with a 10-15 minute journey to go with a 6 month old baby sitting in shit, I would have waited till we got off, mainly because my kids were not sensitive of skin or acidic of poo and generally would have coped with this as far as I know. This is mainly with a view to the comfort of the other passengers; they don't necessarily trump my baby in terms of their personal comfort, but my baby doesnt necessarily trump them; like I say, my kids were remarkably insensiitive to this kind of thing and it was sometimes a bonus if they bothered to tell me they'd dropped a log back when they were in nappies so there you go.

OP says the smell became apparent before the mother started to change the baby. So sounds like people would have been subject to the smell anyway, unless she got off. So I would have been wrong on that count and probably would have been judged by the arse-blister-brigade if they thought all babies were built the same in that regard

To be honest, on a tube train, assuming it was out of the central central bit of London but still a tube type thing with a normal ticket I'd be inclined to get off the tube, change the baby in the open air at the station in the pram or on my bag or cardigan or something (which can be washed obviously but is actually unlikely to get shit on it unless I'm clumsy) then get back on the next tube which is likely to be 5 minutes or so, no more than 10 in rush hour...

Put it this way, my kids are all potty trained now but if I was travelling on a tube with 15 minutes to go and my 2 year old daughter said she needed a poo, what would I do? I'd have to get off, really. And find her a toilet. Or a bush. Or something. But I'd have to get off, she wouldn't hold that long at 2 (though my son would at 4 probably)

I'm not saying she should have got off though. She judged it and did what she felt she had to do, and endured the fallout which in this case was possibly some catsbum mouths and a thread dedicated to her on AIBU

I would have been very uncomfortable doing what she did for reasons that probably aren't even valid but I don't think I'd be bothered if I had been present...

choceyes · 01/05/2012 13:54

If it were me, and my baby had sensitive skin and needed changing ASAP, I would have got off at the next stop, and if there wasn't a baby changing facility (pretty sure there woun't be), I'd have changed the DC in a quiet corner on a floor somewhere (with a mat underneath ofcourse). Then got back on the tube. It wouldn't have cost me anymore money as it only matter where you got on and off the tube and tube trains are very regular, so minimal delay to a journey anyway.

Makes me think that, if this lady's baby did have a sensitive bottom, she should have a mat handy all the time as she'd need to change ASAP, rather than wait for a baby changing facility.

choceyes · 01/05/2012 13:55

TattyDevine - xposted!

TattyDevine · 01/05/2012 14:02

Yeah - you were much more succinct than me!!! God I bleat on sometimes...

AllYoursBabooshka · 01/05/2012 14:06

Look, Babies by nature are mannerless little blighters. The poop and pee in the company of strangers, They burp and fart loudly with complete disregard for others around them, They think nothing of vomiting or drooling on themselves or whoever is close by and they sneeze and cough without covering their mouths.

I say we just ban them from all forms of public transport until they can act civilized. :o

MsKittyFane · 01/05/2012 16:37

Babies might be mannerless blighters AllYours but their parents don't have to be! :o

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