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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I have stolen the neighbour's cat.

115 replies

fullofregrets · 29/04/2012 15:23

About three years ago a little tortie cat appeared and started trying to get into the house. She would get through open windows and sometimes pounce on us in the night. Occasionally we would return and find she had been in the house all day having snuck in the front door without is noticing.
At first I wasn't sure where she was from and she was scrawny. She was also riddled with fleas so I thought she might be a stray. We didn't actively encourage her by feeding her but we didn't spray her with water or anything.

Anyway as time went on she was spending more time sat outside the house and our bedroom window crying to come in. At the time I was heavily pregnant and on mat leave so was in a lot. In the end I flea treated her primarily because I did not want my house infested with fleas and also because she was twitching and scratching. I also wormed her and at this point we started to feed her.

Subsequently I found out from a neighbour where her owners lived. Apparently they had several cats and two big dogs which is maybe why 'my' cat moved out? Since she first started appearing she has now pretty well moved in, when we go on holiday my mum comes over twice a day and feeds her and the cat now has a cat flap Blush.

My problem is that her owner's have split up and the house has now been sold. Do you think I should go round and speak to them or offer some money for their cat? I've kind of been at some weird halfway house with her the last couple of years where she isn't really mine yet appears to live here! I actually don't think she has been back to her owner's house for over a year.
Or should I just leave it? I'm fairly sure they know she has moved in with us and they've never said anything.

I am an awful cat stealing person. I never even wanted a cat.

OP posts:
scuzy · 29/04/2012 22:19

this is why i prefer dogs. cats have no loyalty.

asiatic · 29/04/2012 22:23

Please tell them, our cat is missing, and I'm hoping she has simply switched owners, but not knowing is so upsetting.

stinkymice · 29/04/2012 22:57

My neighbour stole our cat :( This was about 4 years ago now, I am still so sad about it. Please go around and talk to them. The cat might still be going around there lots, you just don't know. They had it from a kitten and might be missing it.

Original poster
fullofregrets · 29/04/2012 23:04

I think they might know where she is, simply because she sits in the window a lot and also follows us for walks even now, pretty much the only time she leaves our house and garden! I don't know for certain that they know, I mean I didn't know which house she came from originally. But if they were looking for her I think they would have seen her. Their house is further up the road, they have to go past my house in their car to get on the main road.

OP posts:
sashh · 30/04/2012 04:41

A friends cat moved out and in with a neighbour - they choose where they live and it sounds like she didn't like where she lived and found somewhere better

rhibutterfly · 30/04/2012 06:13

Our neighbours cat adopted us 10 years ago because she would never let him in the house after about 6 months we asked the neighbour if we could keep him ,she agreed straight away and went on to have many more kittens which later got tossed out once they'd grown:(

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 30/04/2012 06:20

YANBU and you have not stolen the cat. I also believe that the cat has chosen to live with you.

My cat left me for me neighbour many years ago. I put it down to the fucker I was living with at the time who hit the cat because she jumped onto the counter. That was when I was at home. God alone knows what he did to the cat when I was not there.

I talked it over with the neighbour and she said that she had always wanted a cat like mine. I was upset but accepted that she did not want to come back to me.

No, I am no longer with the fucker.

mathanxiety · 30/04/2012 06:29

No, don't mention anything to them.
But no-one can have my cat.

.....................

[Please spay or neuter your cats, people]

izzyizin · 30/04/2012 06:58

Another one saying let sleeping dogs felines lie.

Cats don't stay anywhere they're not happy unless they can't escape.

Out of all the humans in the world this little tortie chose you to be her pet. End of Grin

marathonrunner · 30/04/2012 09:47

Next door's cat moved in with us when I was a kid. Her owner was really miffed and we tried to encourage the cat to go home but there was no persuading her. Cat's are very independent and once they choose a family, that's it. Don't bother trying to take her back, she obviously likes you.

BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 30/04/2012 09:51

A neighbour 'stole' my cat so when I read your title I was very cross Angry

But, of the cat isn't cared for properly at home and the neighbours haven't spoken to you about dear cat, then I would leave it at that.

They obviously don't care enough about it to look after it or come and collect it fro
You.

Mama1980 · 30/04/2012 10:08

You should got talk to them no letter just a friendly chat. The cat may still be going around there-she is not yours. Maybe the owners don't care and will say fine in that case yay! But they may see the at everyday and love her- the choice is there's to make not yours. Cats are very fickle that's why I own a dog. Best of luck I hope it all gets sorted

Angiefernackerpan · 30/04/2012 10:16

One of our cats moved out a few years ago (he was in no way neglected or mistreated), we were upset but he lives a few doors down and is obviously well looked-after. His brother pined for him for a few weeks, now he won't tolerate him if he 'visits' our garden.

He chose his new owners, so we'd never demand him back or kick up a fuss as I don't believe he was 'stolen'.

If you've been chosen by your cat there's not much you can do to dissuade it from moving in, imo!

izzyizin · 30/04/2012 10:22

Would she like a male companion?

I know of a devilishly handsome black/grey tabby feline, possessor of so many stripes it wouldn't be possible to fit another one on to his silky soft coat, who's shortly going to have his bowls/beds//flea&worming treatments etc tied up in red knotted handkerchief and attached to a stick.

My lord and master has just presented me wth a freshly murdered dead rat Shock followed by

Needless to say, he's been praised for his skill from the safety of the hall cupboard and will be forgiven as soon as he's taken his new toy back out to play in the garden and I can get at the brandy Grin

melika · 30/04/2012 10:33

Ever heard of 'Six dinner Sid'? Its a childrens book, about a cat who has dinner at 6 different houses and all the people think they own him. Your cat may live somewhere else too.

I don't think YABU. Cat chose you and is a lot better off for it.

Jux · 30/04/2012 17:10

Brilliant book! Loved it when dd was small.

googleberry · 30/04/2012 19:25

We had a cat years ago that moved out, we used to see her looking all happy and snugly in her new home so we let her go, when I got my own house a cat across the road decided he liked me better and moved in, the owners were fine, I still have him 13 years later.

Casserole · 30/04/2012 19:35

She was underweight and riddled with fleas.
They haven't made any attempt to have her back in 3 years?
No way would I return her to that "home".
Don't talk to them. Keep her and don't answer the door on moving day.

QuintessentialShadows · 30/04/2012 19:38

No. It is the wrong way around. Somebody's cat has stolen you.

shockers · 30/04/2012 22:15

You can't steal a cat that doesn't want to be stolen (unless you kit-nap it and keep it under lock and key)... our neighbours have tried. They give my puddy all the best food and lots of love, but it's my toes he attacks in the mornings Grin.

CleopatrasAsp · 01/05/2012 01:41

Someone 'stole' my cat a few years ago, I was devastated. She was a spoilt and pampered animal but she was inclined to overeat and the vet said I had to put her on a diet otherwise she would have multiple health problems and she really wasn't happy about this. Then, an elderly couple down the road took to feeding her until she was the size of a barrel even when I sent them a note explaining she was not hungry and that she wasn't to be overfed or allowed in their house. Despite this, they ignored me and after a bit of to-ing and fro-ing I took the magnetic toggle off her collar so she couldn't get in our cat-flap (and eat here before running back out again). I then told the catnappers they were now totally responsible for feeding, fleaing and worming her as well as all her vets bills. She now lives with them. I now have three other cats that would have to be pried away from here with a crowbar so I know that I provide suitable cat accommodation, she was just a greedy cat and they were an unscrupulous couple who wanted a cat but couldn't be arsed to get their own.

So, in general I really dislike people who steal cats (I don't hold with all this 'cats choose their own place to live' bollocks as they certainly will go elsewhere if tempted by tasty treats but that doesn't make it right). I think you should have tried harder to find her owners and talk the matter through with them. However, if they haven't come looking for her in three years and she was riddled with fleas it doesn't sound like they cared much for her and she's probably better off with you. I still don't like the fact you have catnapped her though.

luvkats · 23/02/2016 10:29

Wow, all you are concerned with is the owners and not the well-being of the cat who was clearly full of fleas, ill-kept, not looked after at all by her supposedly previous 'owners'! As an animal lover my first concern is always for the animals - if they look starved, full of fleas etc, I would take them in and do my best for them, as this lad 'fullofregrets' eventually did! It's what animal lovers do!

LoTeQuiero · 23/02/2016 11:23

Any responsible owner would be tracking her down when she went missing! I certainly wouldn't go for more than a day or so without seeing either of my cats and not searching for them. It sounds like she'd simply prefer to live with you and the ex-owners aren't bothered.

Congratulations on your new cat Wink

VimFuego101 · 23/02/2016 11:24

Not such a new cat any more, the thread is from 2012 Smile

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 23/02/2016 11:26

ZOMBIE CAT THREAD

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