to be amused that the more exclusive a school is..

[seeker]

.. by faith, fees, ability, aptitude..whatever- the more diverse a community the school's parents say it is.

But if children are exposed to a range of different cultures, religions etc, what makes it so important that they mix with people from very different economic backgrounds?

They are children, they don't have to learn about every single walk of life before they get to 16. As long as they appreciate there are differences and don't feel they are 'better' or more worthy than anyone else, what's the problem?

I think you are overthinking this seeker. Just enjoy your kids and their friends.

Only a white person would think that the ethnic divide is easier to bridge than the socio economic one. Tell that the to 6 yo me, or indeed the 36 yo me. Trust me, social similarity does not make up for ethnic difference. It doesn't get ou invited round to play. It doesn't stop racial abuse. It doesn't stop racial violence. The only think that does that is different ethnic groups mixing together and seeing each other as real people rather than statistics. No different from class.

Please stop seeing me and my children as statistics, seeker, it's actually quite offensive.

I think seeker would only be happy if all children were in state school number 1,2,3,etc and all classes were down to exactly the same level. But of course fails to realise that the Chinese with money actually choose the best education system in the world, the English public school system.

I'm sorry- thebossofme. Do you not agree at all that middle class black people have anything in common with middle class white people?

And I honestly don't think I have said anything to suggest that I think of anyone as a statistic!

Novack- I can't be arsed to fight straw men. Challenge me, if you wish, on something I have actually said. Or shut up.

I think lower class black people probably have SOME things in common with middle class white people - we're not from the moon!

But I think just using class as a way of relating to those of other ethnic groups is disengenous.

Studies have shown that at school dc tend to mix within their own socio-economic group whether groups are there or not. So the middle class kids stick together and often don't tend to mix even when the opportunity is there.

My local area (rural) is overwhelmingly white -hardly any racial diversity. It's only really the boarding house at school containing people from all corners of the globe that provides any of that.

Seeker many of my childrens' friends outside school are the children of my DH's friends. The vast majority of his friends are first generation immigrants some of whom were granted asylum here. Do you really think that my children don't mix with their children because they are on benefits or in social housing . My husband grew up in a degree of poverty which fortunately most people in this country don't experience, you may find that some immigrant communities have a very real understanding of the lower end of the socio economic spectrum.

Eton is very diverse but you seem to be amused that it would claim to be so implying that it is not.

'Eton is very diverse'.

Is this a Happygardening-style joke?

chaz- I do think your circumstances are somewhat unusual!

Seeker, I still want to know how your ds's school compares with my low end comprehensives?

Because if they are quite similar and you'd be happy for your dc to go there (rather than start praying or paying) then you could have opted both children out of the grammar in your area really.

I'm struggling to see how a school with 10 high achievers is all that different to one with 8.

No it is no joke at all. All socio economic groups can be found there. Many boys of almost all ethnic backgrounds religions and wealth including the odd future jailbird or son of a jailbird.

erm.... ok.

I don't think Chaz's circumstances are that unusual. My children are friends with my friends children, and my oldest closest friend was one I met at private primary school in London. She is from the middle East, her family were refugees and she was born not long after they arrived. Her husbands family were also refugees from the ME, and in poverty until relatively recently.

There are loads of very usual situations like this among my dc's school acquaintances, and I live in middle class suburbia.

I still don't think you have explained why you appear to value socio economic diversity over any other kind of diversity.

Yes but I read Novack's post as saying it was generally, in all ways, diverse, as opposed to taking the sons of overseas leaders, which I know it does do.

at a white middle class person saying that econimic divisions are more difficult to bridge than racial/cultural ones...

Chaz's situation is not unusual. If you have experienced genuine hardship in your life you soon realise that you value your child's education above all else. That is why people are anxious to ensure their children get into the best schools be they comprehensives, grammar or independent. It is a human reaction to want to ensure their futures are certain. As I said in an earlier post, people cross oceans to better their children's futures. It is human nature.

That is why I wouldn't want my ds to go to a secondary modern. My dad told me he had done better than his father, I had done better than him and it was my job to make certain my dc do better than me. He was a car mechanic. I don't want him going to a school which would encourage my dc to go into this trade.

babybarrister anyone who thinks that people of different ethnicities have the same experiences just because they have a similar income/social status is clearly very naive.

Here we go again. It's absolutely no use having any sort of discussion if people reply to what they think other people have said. Or what they wish other people have said.