to think my friend should be more sorry than she is...

[ITtroubles]

A close friend and I email each other a lot- bit like you'd text but we email. I recently found out that her 14 yr old DD has access to the email account via her smartphone, as it's a family email account. I have said quite a lot of very personal things in the emails over a year or more, and I am worried the DD has read them- relationship issues etc. My friend has just brushed this off saying DD would not be interested etc etc. and that she usually deletes emails quickly- but I still feel that her DD could have read them.

only read your OP but i have to say YANBU, I wouldnt have been interested at 14, and even if there was any salacious gossip Id read I wouldnt spread it, 14 is old enough to respect peoples privacy IMO. However there are some immature 14 yo kids who would love a bit of gossip, it depends if your friends DD is one of them I guess.

oh I see its gone a bit weird. That'll each me not to bother reading the whole thread. YABU if its a shared account, Id be more worried about her H seeing anything than the DD, even if she does say she deletes everything (there will be times she doesnt, I'll tell you that for nowt)

Ok

here's the rule to live by,

do not put anything in an email, text, letter or internet that you wouldn't have blown up into large bill board and display outside your house or on the back of the local bus.

Why the feck did her mother give her the email password? Why would you share an email address with the family? That's just peculiar.

"Why the feck did her mother give her the email password"

She wouldn't have to give the password, a smart phone is linked to an email account and automatically accesses hotmail etc. The same with IPoods. Untill the emails are deleted directly off the phone (not via the account) they stay on there.

Mt DD aged 16 has had constant trouble making from the age of 13, by more immature teens. These same teens will comment on parents and their lifestyle. There are enough parents about that conduct their relationships as though they are teenagers and the children then don't respect adult bounderies, to cause the OP problems, if what was sent was spread.

OP you are not wrong to be upset, but your friend hasn't done it on purpose, so you will have to let it go and learn from it. You have made your point to her, but she doesn't accept it. It is like someone reading your diary (from your persective), but as said it has happened without your friend realising.

Not in my experience birdsgotta. Both my iPhone and my sons HTC require you to sign in to your email account. How can a phone possibly log you in without a user name and password? Don't give the child the username and password and what? Her blackberry just magically guesses it?? I don't think so!!

The more I think about it the funnier it is!! Why doesn't my son get all my emails? Why dont i get his or my dds? Why dont I get my neighbours? Is my smartphone broken or is it because you can't link an email accout to any device without logging in? Brilliant!!

I have a blackberry and it certainly does not automatically receive emails unless you specifically set it up to receive them, and why anyone would do that on a phone that their teenager has, when the email is for adults to use is beyond me. Why on earth does the teenager not have her own email, and certainly why does the mother not have her own private one???? Wierd...

Ok either I'm having serious deja vu or this thread has been posted again. I swear I remember reading it a few weeks ago!

I feel sorry for the friend. Must have been really personal (threesomes and bumsex??) stuff if the OP thinks her friend isn't sorry enough weeks later!

YABU

You sent private stuff to an email account you knew to be potentially insecure and you are now having a strop because it is even less secure than you nelieved it to be.

In any event, your friend would know if her DD had read the emails as they would have been opened and read.

And why bother asking if YABU when you are sure you are not. Telling people they are missing the point won't make them suddenly agree with you!

I also remember this thread from the other week...

I'm glad other people do and it's not just me going crackers :o

Could this be some kind of passive aggressive post?

OP knows friend is a MNer and is trying to make friend feel bad and apologise again? Didn't work last week so she's giving the thread another go.

If not then, OP, why are you posting again? Genuine question

The thick plottens.

Hmmmmm

"Is my smartphone broken or is it because you can't link an email accout to any device without logging in"

Once you link an email account, the emails come through (i only know about hotmail). Even if they are deleated on a computer, they stay on the phone.

It depends on how you have set up the internet access. If the friend isn't techno savvy, she has probably set up the phone, without realising what it can do.

All passwords and log ins can be remembered automatically (if the box is ticked).
The phone may have been the mothers, at one point, or when the mother bought it, she set it up with her email, without understanding what it meant.
It is strange that everyone doesn't have their own accounts.