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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to find Bianca's storyline on Eastenders really distressing.

139 replies

headfairy · 27/04/2012 20:20

I'm being soft of course because it's not real, but it's scary how many people are in the same position.

OP posts:
maristella · 28/04/2012 01:15

HB is the hardest to claim; it takes so long to process, 6 weeks is quite short really. And while your claim is being processed there are likely to be numerous threats to your tenancy. Having worked full time, been just on benefots and worked part time, I have to say that working part time with varied hours was by far the worst situation; everything was completely unstable all of the time

Mulsanne · 28/04/2012 01:18

I've been there on the breadline and am on it again. DH is S/E and his income has dropped dramatically but we aren't entitled to rubber dogshit!

ethelb · 28/04/2012 01:19

@dione I did ask the question. I rent and have been on benefits. I do understant the bureauracy.

Mulsanne · 28/04/2012 01:28

Headfairy UANBU :(

Birdsgottafly · 28/04/2012 01:28

"I have to say that working part time with varied hours was by far the worst situation; everything was completely unstable all of the time"

That is what i found. I had to go back to the one stop shop, month after month with the same information, until i got the CAB involved.

Peacocklady · 28/04/2012 01:31

I don't watch eastenders anymore. The last straw for me too was the Ronnie/ baby story. I actually sent in a complaint recently too about the level of violence and aggression shown at such an early time. Vulnerable, easily influenced people, including children, will be watching the scenes of violence and abuse. We all take what we see on board to some degree. I saw about 10 seconds yesterday and Carol was screaming at Bianca saying that she regretted having her. I think it's very wrong to have this as the BBC's main programme. Just think how they could show people being nice to each other!

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 28/04/2012 01:32

Where is Ricky supposed to be??

I rarely watch EE, but did see it tonight and it reminded me of some of the posters on MN :(

The bit with Ian and the TV did make me laugh though - real MN!

Bumblequeen · 28/04/2012 01:35

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at poster's request.

Mulsanne · 28/04/2012 01:43

BUMBLEQUEEN I can identify with all you said apart from the breakdown - it was my elder sister :(

Birdsgottafly · 28/04/2012 01:49

"Where is Ricky supposed to be??"

He took work in Dubai, but hasn't sent her this months money.

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 28/04/2012 02:52

BGTF - thanks :) So are they still together? (If not, why not??)

Birdsgottafly · 28/04/2012 02:57

Ricky had a one night stand with Mandy, Carol persuaded Bianca to let him leave (he would have stayed).

Birdsgottafly · 28/04/2012 03:01

Also it came to light that they had a daughter who died shortly after being born, when they were together the first time round.

Ricky kept that from Bianca.
Bianca was struggling with the memories of losing their daughter, Natasha (i really need to get a life).

ShadowsCollideWithPeople · 28/04/2012 03:10

Bumblequeen, I can very much relate - bar the breakdown, that was exactly how my folks lived when we (my sibs and I) were younger. What really, really annoyed me about the 'Bianca' storyline (and actually most soap storylines involving women), is how downtrodden she is / any women in soaps are. Soaps are so very, deeply misogynistic. Women are always poor, downtrodden, tragic victims (Heather in EE, for example). Why not have a strong female character? Or a storyline which allows the poor women to drag themselves out of the gutter? As I said, my folks had grim times. So they both worked their fecking arses off and made it better (probably with a few lucky breaks along the way).

In soaps, none of these downtrodden women ever get a break, they are made to be victims over and over, with more and more shite heaped upon them. They become more and more downtrodden and tragic, until they are killed off or written out. A strong female character in a soap (one that is not evil and scheming) would be excellent. But soaps are clearly inherently misogynistic, as most of the female characters are evil schemers or tragic victims. Awful.

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 28/04/2012 03:16

BFTF - thanks :) Ricky - what was he thinking?? Idiot!! Bloody Carol... she's as twat at times. Oh & Oh about the babies - I didn't know about either of them?! Ricky and Bianca belong together - everyone else should keep the hell out of it.

Shadows - I think you see what you want to see tbh, there are strong female characters in most soaps (but yes, a bit lacking in EE, but then the male characters are the same in EE so not misogynistic really, just depressing!).

ShadowsCollideWithPeople · 28/04/2012 03:33

Chipping - perhaps. Am feeling a bit disheartened at the moment, tbh, as have come up against a fuck load of misogynistic shite at college (women in labs? Shouldn't you all be doing food science and in the kitchens?, etc, etc) and with DP's family this week, so am perhaps more sensitive to the misogyny and stereotyping than usual. (EE is fairly bad on this front though, right?).

So, if I shrug off the EE thing, can I then eviscerate DP's Dad and brother for their hateful misogyny? Grin

lattelov3r · 28/04/2012 09:06

It was a sad episode wouldnt go as far as making my cry but still sad we are not well off by a long way but do remember being that skint raiding the jar of 2ps, having to beg and borrow to top up the electricity meter. The reasons for her being so poor have been covered, she cant claim hb as she dosnt have a proper rental agreement, she probably cant claim tax credits as she dosnt have regular work she works odd shifts for cash in hand. As for the ricky thing she told him to leave and he wasnt to see the kids so hard to have sympathy there but i blame her mum for that one

IAmBooyhoo · 28/04/2012 12:43

can someone clarify for me, who lost a baby shortly after birth? ricky and bianca or ricky and mandy?

garlicnutter · 28/04/2012 14:11

Shadows, go ahead and eviscerate Grin If you're feeling generous: do it in the name of Pat Butcher, Janine (both flawed but strong), Jane Beale and the fabulous younger characters Tiffany and Lola :)

garlicnutter · 28/04/2012 14:16

Booy - There have been a few lost babies; I lose track! Are you thinking of the Ronnie & Kat baby-switch debacle? Mandy revealed she lost a baby in the past, who would have been 14 (? I think) now.

Sometimes it depresses me that there's not a single psychologically-healthy character in Stenders. Other times, I just think it's real life writ large!

boohoohoo · 28/04/2012 14:20

I watched this last night which was odd in itself as I don't usually watch it, I really struggled with it and was in (secret, hiding it from my family) tears at it. It took me right back about ten years ago when I was n such an horrendous situation financially, I was working so had no benefits, but was struggling like mad and in terrible debt, I couldn't see any way of it ever ending, I had so many times when I struggled to feed my daughter, many many times when i didnt eat myself, putting a towel on her bed as i had no money for nappies, and no electricity. I couldn't tell anyone as I was so ashamed, I had no one to turn it, it was an absolute nightmare, and yes, I was very close to stealing money from my employer I was that desperate. I try not to think back on it now, but god it was awful. I don't think the details of last night portrayal matter just the fact that poverty consumes your whole life. Have to say though I thought Patsy Palmer was fabulous last night.

garlicnutter · 28/04/2012 14:29

It took me back, too. The bit where she impulsively stole the cash ... I recall fighting the urge to steal; it just felt like the only right course of action! I didn't, but the show depicted that moment perfectly imo.

IAmBooyhoo · 28/04/2012 14:44

garlic it was this> "Also it came to light that they had a daughter who died shortly after being born, when they were together the first time round.

Ricky kept that from Bianca.
Bianca was struggling with the memories of losing their daughter, Natasha "

from birdsgotafly that i was wondering about, although reading back i think she meant mandy and ricky lost a baby but he kept it from bianca? not sure. maybe someone else knows?

Tildabewildered · 28/04/2012 14:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

boohoohoo · 28/04/2012 14:49

Right, ok, I'll tell the truth in the hope that it might just help someone else. I did steal some money, I was absolutely desperate and as I said above I really didn't think I had anyone to turn to. I think only anyone who has been in a truly desperate situation will understand just how awful it is, I was very close to trying to commit suicide. I stole £100 from my employer, it was terrible as although I could afford to feed my dd and have some gas and electric the guilt almost tipped me over the edge. When the missing money came to light at work, no one suspected me, but i think (realise now) that this couldn't go on.

After a horrendous day I decided to go after work and tell me boss what I had done, I remember I had to climb three flights of stairs and on the way up, I knew she would call the police and I thought I would go to prison, but I just wanted it over. Anyway, she sat me down, I was in such a state, I told her, and she just came over and put her arms around me (am now n floods writing this), she called someone else and asked them to look after my dd, she poured us both a drink (a secret stash she had!) told me that I must never tell anyone what she was about to say and then went on to tell me that when she was younger and a single parent she had also been desperate and slept with a man for money in desperation to feed her children. She, more than anyone understood where i was at that time, She would'nt to even think about calling the police on me, but sat with me and worked out all of my money situation, then leant me money from her own purse and worked out a repayment plan for that and the money I stole.

It's been many many years since then, but I have never ever forgotten her kindness. But, I wish to god that I had turned to someone before, the CAB, debt advisor, someone, just not tried to deal with it myself, not only did I nearly ruin my own life but the mental stress is the most horrendous thing ever.