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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I'm a bit 50/50, so I'll go with the majority

80 replies

Smellslikecatspee · 27/04/2012 19:20

OH has a run on Sunday, very very long run.

He wants me to come watch, there is no shelter, no, well basically it'll be standing on the side of the road for about 4 hours.

This isn't a special run or anything, it's a rehearsal for one later in the year,that I will be attending.

I really don't want to go it'll be me and his running club.

I'm working tomorrow, so Sunday will be my only day off.

Should I go?

OP posts:

PurplePidjin · 27/04/2012 20:40

No fecking way, and that's from someone who's dp runs. Dp has never suggested or expected me to shiver in the freezing cold while he foes something fun (I make sure there's lunch and hot bath water ready when he's done)

I attended one run. He did an ultra marathon across the Giants Causeway for charity. I followed in the car with water, bananas and jelly babies and pub hopped the rest of the time.

YoullLaughAboutItOneDay · 27/04/2012 20:42

Nope. Watching other people's hobbies is dull as anything, and something peculiarly skewed towards stereotypical 'men' activities. . Watch the race, but not the rehearsal.

My MIL can never understand why I don't think it would be a nice family day out to watch DH play cricket...

HeathRobinson · 27/04/2012 20:44

Er, no. Why?

Has he seen the weather for Sunday? it's hideous.

fridakahlo · 27/04/2012 20:45

you'll laugh well it could be good if all of you needed to catch up on some sleep, otherwise, nope don't get it.

pictish · 27/04/2012 20:48

Nope here too.

YoullLaughAboutItOneDay · 27/04/2012 20:49

Frida (good name by the way). Indeed. I watched once when we started dating in the spirit of 'seeing the things you like' and never again. MIL thinks I should be running the buffet! It's a half serious point - generally classically female pastimes are not considered something you should turn out and watch, and there's no inherent reason it's more interesting to watch someone run past in the rain rather than, say, watch them cross stitch.

Original poster

Smellslikecatspee · 27/04/2012 20:55

Hi again & thanks.

It's a cross country one, if it was a city/ town run yes I would park in a cafe and read/ MN .

It's an 1:30 travel time each way, so not worth going for 5/10 minutes. (in my view)

I have made muffins for all the club. . .

I just don't know why this is becoming such a big deal with him. .

OP posts:

porcamiseria · 27/04/2012 20:56

fridakahlo · 27/04/2012 20:57

You've made muffins and he still wants you to go? Perhaps you could offer him the choice of your presence or the muffins?

sandyboots · 27/04/2012 20:59

DestinationUnknown · 27/04/2012 21:01

Can you DH explain to me how someone "watches" a 4 hour cross country run please? Do you run up into the hills and watch through binoculars? Hire a helicopter? Tunnel through the hills and pop up like a mole at every water station?

Or do you say "bye, good luck" at the start line and watch them run a few yards away from you, then drive to the finish line (or perhaps wait in the same place, if it is a circular route?) and wait FOR FOUR HOURS IN THE PISSING RAIN to watch them run a few steps towards you so you can say "oh well done darling, you were great."

Because you could record yourself on his phone saying those things. Or say them as you waved him off from home and as he came back later. You are making cakes, that's great and very nice of you. You are thinking of him and his club by doing so. Driving for 3 hours and waiting for 4 = a 7 hour day for you and no I don't understand why it would be such a big deal for him either!

YoullLaughAboutItOneDay · 27/04/2012 21:03

3 hour round trip and cross country run?

Hell to the no!

HeathRobinson · 27/04/2012 21:04

Sounds like he's not looking forward to it and wants your support/morale boost
or
sounds like he's not looking forward to it and wants to make your day miserable too.

I think he's chosen this hobby, so he should be prepared to do it without anybody else being there.

NeedANannyShare · 27/04/2012 21:05

My DH is doing the mk marathon on sunday. It's about an hour drive from us and I have dd 8months too. We'll go with him, he'd be devastated if not. But I have said that given the weather, dd and I are going to ikea and will see him at the end.

Is there an option of just being there for the end?

akaemmafrost · 27/04/2012 21:06

God no!

IslaValargeone · 27/04/2012 21:07

I think if he asked every week then it would be different, but he does seem to want you there, for whatever reason.
I'd be really hurt if my dh didn't support me if I'd specifically asked.

pixwix · 27/04/2012 21:14

I did it for ex-bf once - It was interesting to go for the first time, and see him at the finish etc - but standing round in the pissing rain thinking - oops - there runs another one, and another one, and waiting around for registration, etc - didn't float my boat. I certainly wouldn't have done it again, if it was a training run, with a 3 hour round trip on my only day off, and i'd baked for it!

He wanted me to bring the boys too - they were at their dads, but they looked suitably appalled at the thought!

On the other side of the coin, I wouldn't have expected him (or my ex-dh) to come to one of my karate competitions - they are fine if you know other people in the club competing too, but there can be so much waiting around, and it's knackering! I prefer to be left alone to deal with any anxieties around competing, sucking thoughtfully on my gumshield, without having to worry about someone else who wasn't into karate, and whether they were bored yet or not....

BelieveInPink · 27/04/2012 21:20

Yes I would go. It's a marathon. Marathons are bloody hard and an achievement. Speaking from experience. If I got to the finish line and no one was there cheering me on I'd be a big gutted. Especially if other families were there cheering their runners on.

Not wanting to go for the whole race I can understand. But I would at least be there at the finish line. As I said, it's a marathon not a 5k.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 27/04/2012 21:22

Its not a marathon
Its a training run.

BelieveInPink · 27/04/2012 21:33

Oh ballcocks :o Sorry! Yeah, go to the real thing. Will read properly next time.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 27/04/2012 21:47

ballcocks

PurplePidjin · 27/04/2012 21:51

Would he like his muffins rectally?

WhereYouLeftIt · 27/04/2012 22:22

"I just don't know why this is becoming such a big deal with him."
So he's persisting in the idea that you should spend seven hours of your one day off driving and standing in the pissing rain? Has he said why he wants you there, or acknowledged how dull it will be for you?

Well, you said you'd go with the majority - I'd say there's a clear majority saying 'don't do it'.

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 28/04/2012 16:59

Just say NO op, loudly and often!

Weather tomorrow is goig to be truly pants.

I went for a 13 mile training run off road this morning. If I had suggested to dh he came to watch me run past, he would have fallen down laughing and I wouldn't blame him!

I'm doing an off road half marathon next week, dh will be tucked up at home enjoying chilling out with the dses. I'm not expecting them to put themselves out to be there. It's only fun if you are taking part sort of

Oogaballoo · 28/04/2012 17:01

NO.

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