Am I the only one to name school gate parents/minders?

[BananasInBloomers]

Inspired by all the school threads I'm just wondering if I am the only one who nicknames other schoolgaters? In my head,not out loud.

Theres MrsLoudParenting. Everyone in a five mile radius knows how brilliant her DC is doing.
Theres MrsBuggy. She was the widest range of buggies I've ever seen.
Theres MrSuit. He always looks immaculate.
Theres DiscoMinder. She looks like shes off to a nightclub.
Theres TheDesignerPosse. Always decked out,head to toe.
Then theres us The IfItsCleanI'llWearIt gang.

Phew, probably not me the Bananas. My over loud parenting generally consists of me booming "if you don't stop dragging your sister by the hood I will count to three ONE... TWO..."

Perhaps I'll be MrsOneTwoThree?

thank you fallen. it's easy to view other people only from your own position in life and forget that others have very good reasons for how or why they do things. i just guessed that he liked those particular clothes alot.

I have to say the ones that get the nicknames from me are nearly always those that are full of themselves, loud, confident and seem to be 'networking' in the playground, often quite scary for those of us who aren't possessed of such large amounts of self-confidence and self-belief - I think its a bit of a defence mechanism for people like me who just sit there quietly hoping that my child comes out quickly - I think I would be Mrs tryingtohide. :)

Wasn't being precious booyhoo, my DS smells much better than the average teen and is particular about being neat at the start of the day. He's just very recognisable!

PMSL over PomBear's The Stressed Woman. There's always some poor bastard who's having a worse day than you thankfully

Quite often it's the teacher.

oh no i realise that fallen, i know you were just given a suggestion. i have'nt taken any offence

i've realised i'm probably "pink hair mum" with an "why doesn't she keep it neat when she goes to so much effort of colouring it" addition.

or i could be "her who cant use apostrophes"

Fussingmum who insists on coming in and hanging her child's coat on the peg

I'm all for second chances but I find school yard unfriendliness to be fairly recognisable. If you dare say anything to TheClique you are met with The Look. Its the up and down eye flick,accompanied by a slight smiley sneer.

oh yes in that case i wouldn't give a second chance, that's pretty obvious unfriendliness as opposed to just not being on friendly form on a certain day.

You can tell when someones just having an off day.

On another note I know what the teachers call me

I always see the running family - everyday either mum or dad are with a boy of six running to school when I am one way home. Even the dad runs every morning in smart trousers and work shoes...the boy running along behind.

I see the Juicy couture woman with her tracksuits, matching Juicy Couture push chair and bag.

Also have the Huge man with no coat - he always wears a t shirt, even in the snowy winter and brings his toddler to wait in the playground with wet hair.

I have noticed there is always'

Suited Dad. He always gets out his lap top/iphone/ipad when waiting to collect his DC from any after school activity.

Horsey Mum

Lost loads of weight mum

Skinny, tatooed mum.

PTA mum who's DH is on the governors and has inside information, which make her popular with other mums.

Mum with lots of girls/boys and really wants a child of the other sex and will keep trying until she does.

Nurse mum. Every state school in the country has at least one mum in a nurse uniform.

Man mum, who dresses like a man. Even though she is a woman.

Pushchair mum, who is oblivious that her pushchair is blocking everyone's way.

Emigrating mum, who has been planning on emigrating for the last 10 years, but is still here.

Lesbian mum, who was apparently happily married to a man when her first born was in reception.

Loud, annoying, cocky dad.

Flash car dad , who tosses his car keys up and down to make the point that he has a flash car.

idontbelieve , lol we have a Juicy Couture woman too

We have, in addition to the ones I've mentioned:

Mum who has had a gastric bypass but doesn't appear to have lost a pound in weight

No-tights mum who always wears a skirt and knee high boots with bare legs in the middle of winter

Bi-lingual mum who makes a big point of talking to her children as loudly as possible in her native language in the school yard, and tells everyone 'they're bi-lingual you know'

Smoking mum who ignores the no-smoking rules and stands outside the classroom puffing away

Gossip mum who floats from mum to mum depending on whether they are having a crisis that she can get the inside info on or if they have any gossip they can pass onto her. If you aint got gossip she doesn't want to know you!

Hair extension mum who has (badly attached) extensions down to her bum

Quirky dresser mum. Nice lady but every day attracts the question 'What the fuck is she wearing?'

this thread confirms what I think- gossips with not enough to do
other than she said/I said
cor whats she wearing

We have 'the one who fell over a small child (not her own)in the playground, whilst chasing her toddler........in front of everyone' She seemed to roll across the playground, taking the LO with her

I can't help thinking about it everytime I see her, poor woman. There was a huge gasp all round, then the playground fell silent and she just burst into tears.

There is yogabitch and her crowd of no-bums, and the pta princess... I am not very nice :(

Howabout Front Rowers, because they are always in the front row!

I'm the one who drops them off at the curb saying 'run girls, you have 22 seconds before the bell, you can do it' and then takes off as soon as the door bangs, leaving a whiff of burning rubber. As a result, no observations of any of the others except the family who are always 45 seconds after me but they sometimes pull in right in front of me as I am trying to pull out. That manoeuver will end badly one of these days.

I'm probably called The Mum With The Backpack.

It's full of useful things like wet wipes, tissues, antibac gel, first aid kit, and healthy snacks and drinks. We live a 20 min walk from school, and my nearly 4 year old nearly always needs a wee in the woods, or has a snotty nose etc and it's good to be prepared.

bananasinbloomers this made me chuckle I've done it my whole life wherever i go it's just a bit of fun

I know everyone by name

Although if people are looking, I'll be either weight-loss mum, hungover mum, mum-in-a-band or scruffy bastard