To go as a helper on my son's school trip

[LadyBabsWalthamCuddles]

to the airport, and ask to see the pilots cockpit?

What can I say, I like a man in uniform

I feel I should warn you. I have contacted MNHQ as I want to report you to SS. I feel very sorry for your poor poor children.

HTH

I've reported you to Jeremy Kyle

Nooooo don't report me, not to Jeremy Kyle anyway.

It's fine, I don't neglect them, they have some wine too

Oh well thats okay then - you should have said earlier. I hate drip feeding.

And Jeremy Kyle is much worse than SS

Wine? You are mistreating them! Kids today want lager!

Does the school need any more volunteers?

Sorry, didn't mean to drip feed.

Yes Jeremy Kyle is worse, they don't drink fizzy drinks I'm afraid. They can have all the wine they like but I put my foot down at fizz (bad for teeth you see)

I'm glad you have sensible limits. Fizzy drinks are very bad. What about Greggs sausage rolls?

All the time, sometimes for breakfast, lunch and dinner

As an ex-military family we lived abroad. I worked in the Service Children's School. We had a day trip to an operational warship that had stopped over (one of the Navy dads arranged it).Whilst we were looking around a young sailor came out of a (very hot) shower, not realising a school party was there. He was wearing a skimpy towel and a six pack, and was carrying his wash bag. We had to squeeze past him in the tight corridor. I decided to focus straight ahead and direct the (fascinated) children through quickly. The Year 1s then all decided they wanted a chat..with a semi naked, steaming, sailor in a very confined space holding his wash bag as a defence against small children.....
I then became very shrieky and bustling..."Come on children, leave the man alone, he's busy, hush now, move on quickly, I meant QUICKLY!!"

I was very, very flustered after that and blamed the climate. :)

canbe

Lady - Its good you are keeping them well hydrated.

YABU and a pervy middle aged woman. This is what I hate about being a mum, all the fnar fnar type jokes about any man other than your DP/DH. weird. If your DP/DH started talking about servicing a stewardesses boobs I bet you wouldn't be happy...

I'm glad to hear about the fizzy drinks..in my limited experience of Jeremy Kyle, most of the participants have teeth, that look like they sleep with their mouths full of cola just to see how much more will have rotted by the morning.

My DH prefers to service a stewardesses boobs with WD40..oil based lubricants really are just the thing.

booom - How do you know she is middle aged? She may be a pervy young mum

I'm 21! I don't mean middle aged. I meant like a 'suburban bored housewife who needs to get her kicks somewhere'. It's so weird and pervby I hate it!

My two friends work at M&S (also 21) and have members of female staff that practically sexually harass them with this kind of talk!

Saying stuff like this to young men is pervy in rl. Saying amongst people when they are having a laugh is I think fine.

CanBe, that would be the best school trip EVER, the children would have to fend for themselves I'm afraid

Booom, I haven't got a DH/DP and I'm not middle aged (I don't think, how old is middle aged?)

I would never say it to anyone in rl not confident enough can you imagine it.

"Hi Mr. (enter fantasy uniform here) I would like to ride you. How do you feel about that?"

Depends? If being accurate it is the middle of your life expectancy - so 40-45?

Then I'm not middle aged, I'm 26 at own stupidity, to be fair I'm doing pretty well considering my just under 2 hours sleep last night

And I am a pervy young mum zombie

Surely you're as old as the serviceman you feel op?

And boom I'm making most of the "fnarr" jokes here and I'm a bloke! I just love a good scandal

You are not being at all stupid Lady

That's true, I do like an older man especially and older man with a uniform

Would this make me middle aged then?