To think 13 is too young to go on the pill

[toni76]

A report says girls as young as 13 should get the pill without a prescription. I just think 13 is sooo young (have two little girls). AIBU to think there must be a better way to stop 13 year olds getting pregnant?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-17847069

I work with youth and if you want to know some of the really rediculous things they believe, then here you are. You can't get pregnant if:
-you soak the penis in cocacola first
-you put a watch around the penis
-he pull's out
-you use a condom
-you are taking the pill
and that's to name but a few.

What is really concerning for me is the number of popular songs/films that make out you should be having sex or there is something wrong with you. Also how many films do you see where the couple fumble around trying to put a condom on?? None that I can think of, so guess how many kids will think they need to put one on?? Probably not that many. In my experience most teenages think sex ed is a waste of time cos they are being taught by some old crinkly who doesn't know what it is like to be in love, to have fun or to even have sex any more - whether it is true or not seems irrelevant.

And the really sad thing is that most don't know what STI's are or how you catch them (whether they have been taught or not) or cure them. They seem to know even less about what AIDS/HIV is and how you catch it and the long term effects it has.

But there is also a culture around that if you get pregnant you will automatically get a council house. Therefore it's not conducive to discouraging teenage pregnancies. In other countries where the teenage pregnancy rate is lower they are not entitled to benefits, they do not get handouts, they have to go it alone or rely on family to help them out. Changes in those laws would help change the number too, but I don't see them offering that!! Many believe that having a baby will complete them, fill the hole they have in their heart, they don't realise how hideous being a parent can be at times, how tiring it is or how much it effects you physically, mentally and emotionally or how little social life you will ever have again!!!!

how effective is the pill against stis?

I think I am influenced by the fact that my bf had a baby at 15 - had been having sex since 14. Her bf refused to wear condoms. Her mum was the type not to talk to her about things like sex. She hid the pregnancy until it was too late for an abortion. She had a seriously hard time bringing up a baby from 15 years of age. Being on the pill and so avoiding pregnancy at such a young age, would have made her life much better in the long run.

Personally i lost my virginity at 14 had no regrets but we split up soon after (unrelated still friends 12 years on) i was 15 before i met someone else and wanted to start having regular sex so i went on the pill i was so scared of pregnancy and stds (known about by buying teen mags) that i insisted on condom use as well everytime despite trying to be talked out of it by my then boyfriend but for me it was condom or nothing we were together a year and a half he was my first love. I think as parents we really dont want to think about teens having sex we want to convince ourselves that all girls having sex are doing it because their nasty boyfriends are forcing them, their friends are pressuring them, they have difficult home lives and for some this is right but the fact is for many is they WANT to have sex some teens mature in that sense earlier than others, telling them 'just resist' is pointless it would be like telling an adult to resist for a couple of years its highly likely to fail and pregnancy more likely to result.

Offerning contracpetion to teens dosnt encourage sex it educates them gives them power to protect themselves, condoms should always be pushed but nothing wrong with having a back up in place too.

Incidently i was on the pill for 10 years i do admit to forgetting a pill or two along the way but it wasnt until i came of it and decided to rely fully on condoms to give my body a break that a failure happened despite being an experainced adult using condoms i now have an albeit gorgeous little boy beside me.

rhubarb I think it's a mistake on your part to assume that lots of posters here would rather DD on the pill than use a condom.

i think it's more a case of using both is quite a good idea.

SERIOUSLY. This is NOT a debate about which is better to use, condoms or the pill!

That's entirely beside the point for a sensible person!

stealth if it's not then that makes this: "LST, I'm glad that you made that educated decision. But you know, every time a condom splits it does mean that a baby is the result. Especially not now the morning after pill is freely available over the counter. "

moot.

btw that's a quote from rhubarb!

I would think most posters can see that the best protection against pregnancy and sti relies on a barrier method plus an additional form of contraception.

Efficacy does when the effects of pregnancy on young teens and their babies is so damaging. A group most at risk should have access to the best protection.

Idealism and hoping or abstinence gives the most vulnerable no thought or protection.

True but I'm sure the map is available to girls via gps. Again, just guessing so someone correct me if I'm wrong

Condoms have a bad reputation, because many people don't use them properly. One of the optimum times for such user-error breakages, seems to be over the weekend, when you can't get to a clinic easily the next morning.

Therefore, the pill is regarded as preferable.

Common causes of breakage, iirc:

1. The condom that has been crammed in a corner of Dave the Likely Lad's wallet for seven months. It has been rubbing against all the other stuff he keeps in there, like the coin compartment next door. When it finally sees use next Saturday night, it may rip.
2. Using the wrong kind of lubricant. It CLEARLY says not to use oil-based lubricant on Durex condom packets, but people go ahead, anyway. You should only buy WATER-based lubricant. No vaseline. Vaseline is OIL.

To make sure you get it right, you could go into Boots and buy the official Durex lubricant?
3) No, "doubling up" does not mean two condoms. If you use two condoms together, they will rub together. The friction between them will cause them BOTH to tear.

4. No, you can't reuse them.

5. Open the packet carefully in the first place.

6. Check for holes before and after use.

7. If you have sex twice, use a condom BOTH times.

Yon, they didn't say that. They expressly stated they would rather their dd was on the pill than pregnant. I have questioned that if those people then say that of course they would prefer both then fine, but so far a lot of people are saying that because boys won't wear condoms, because condoms can split, because they know of someone etc etc therefore the girl should be on the pill.

These are spurious reasons and I'm just going through them.

If someone is on the pill and falls pregnant, when do you think she would know about this?

If someone used condoms and it split, they do have other choices available to them that they could access immediately.

If you become pregnant whilst on the pill, you have a higher chance of an ectopic pregnancy.

If the boy refuses to wear condoms and you decide to use the pill, you also have a higher chance of contracting an STI which, in the worst case scenario can make you infertile.

I don't see that the pill is a better choice and should therefore be made more available to girls. I also don't think that, given its history of side effects, it should be available over the counter.

We should strongly be upholding sex within steady relationships with a focus on moral responsibility. This attitude of 'oh it's so embrassing why not let them sulk off down the chemist and get the pill because that is easier than them getting pregnant' is really pathetic. It does not protect your daughters from having their sexual exploits posted on Facebook or whatever, or texted around your daughters partners friends after they have fallen out. It does not protect your daughters from getting anal warts, vaginal warts (a later risk for cervical cancer) chamydia (infertility) or HIV. If they forget to take the pill (as a 30 year old I couldn't even remember to take it every day) then they will get pregnant anyway. We do need to teach children about sex, safe sex and waiting until it's appropriate to have sex and the emotional fallout from bad relationships. Go on the relationships threads, the number of women who don't even realise that they are being raped when they have sex because their husband wants sex and emotionally manipulates them to have it against their will.

If a 16/17/18 wants to go on the pill well that's one thing, but a 13 year old??? Really???? Without the parents knowledge. It will be the most vunerable girls that suffer not the children of the average mumsnetter!!!

TheBigJessie

If you take the pill you need to do so every day at a regular time.
If you miss a pill you need to take your next pill straight away and then the one you should take for that day, even if it means taking two at once. Then use condoms for the next seven days.
If you are later than 48 hours you carry on taking the pill as normal I think, but use extra precautions.
If you have sickness and/or diaehoerra (sp) you must use extra precautions for the next 7 days.

Then there are the side effects that you must watch out for including headaches, nausea, bloating, depression, etc.

And also Yon, if there was a better education in place, if the porn issue was tackled, if society stopped trying to sexualise adults too young then this whole debate would be moot.

There would simply be no need.

The map is still hard to get hold off, doesn't work as reliably as the pill and relies on the user recognising the condom has not worked. Easy enough when they split but impossible when the holes are tiny as they can be.

Really the condom is an imperfect barrier method best used as a contraception by those who are less fertile or prepared to accept a relatively high chance of pregnancy.

stealth that wasn't the point being made though - the point being made was that it was "available over the counter".

If someone is on the pill and falls pregnant, when do you think she would know about this? when she misses her period - the same as non pill.

If someone used condoms and it split, they do have other choices available to them that they could access immediately. good point, but they wouldn't need to worry if they were on the pill

If you become pregnant whilst on the pill, you have a higher chance of an ectopic pregnancy. can't argue with that - but why is it not an issue for the millions of grown women taking it? Why does no one object to that?

If the boy refuses to wear condoms and you decide to use the pill, you also have a higher chance of contracting an STI which, in the worst case scenario can make you infertile. true, condoms should always be worn.

Young women need strong self esteem, so that they can have relationships where they are loved and respected and treated properly. That can take a bloody lifetime. That's something we should be more concerned about.

But teenagers also need access to reliable contraceptives. I am also concerned that sex is presented as a horror story and only leads to disease and social humiliation. As SGB said further up thread, young women also have a right to have sex if they have chosen to.

Then use condoms for the next seven days Not true on the pill I take, you can end up taking two pills in one day but it doesn't affect cover.

*And also Yon, if there was a better education in place, if the porn issue was tackled, if society stopped trying to sexualise adults too young then this whole debate would be moot.

There would simply be no need.*

Agreed.

The MAP is available, free of charge and over the counter in Wales, even to under 16s and can be bought over the counter in the UK, but I think you may need to visit a practice nurse first.

Yon, not everyone who falls pregnant whilst on the pill will miss a period. The periods the pill produces are not natural periods.

Yes of course ideally a woman would use both forms. But that is not what some posters have said.

Also it does not answer my general question about the reasons why such young children are having sex in the first place. Discussing contraception for these children is a sad state of affairs. Surely it's better that we had no need to consider children as young as 13 even having sex? Surely rather than bury our heads in the sand about that and accept it happens, we should be looking into why and helping vulnerable children, educating boys, regulating internet porn, etc etc.

The fact that every pill is different Yon surely makes it more complicated for young teenagers to follow. The combined pill is potentially safer against guarding for pregnancy but the risks associated with it are higher.

lower dosage ones have less risks but you need to take them regularly and carefully.

TheRhubarb

All true, but you were wondering why people preferred the pill. The answer is the reputation gained by visible user failure. User failure that is almost never acknowledged as user failure, but instead passed off as "condoms don't work".

If Gloria Howell [made up name] doesn't know how to reduce condom failure, despite repeatedly experiencing them, she may not even know that the pill can fail!

Incidentally, I have never had a condom failure, but most of my teenage peers did repeatedly. "They just happen" apparently.

I am NOT claiming that all breakages are user error. But lots are.

And whilst you are 'looking in to' the wider reasons how does that help the young girls who are sexually active?

I have worked and still volunteer in this area and uless you have a magic wand which can bring huge social and cultural change then the will be no change soon.

I have no wish to hear young girls talk about their sex lives, their group sex, sex with boyfriend's mates, oral sex for free cab rides, anal sex etc but this is a reality for some of girls. I do see girls reject some of this, I see them grow into understanding, I see others pimp for their boyfriends and move into prostitution. Most of these girls could never get their partners to use condoms but they can take a decision that improves their life and health outcomes by using contraception to prevent pregnancy.

I do work against this culture, I want to see it discussed, challenged and changed but I do want to see as much protection as possible for those having early intercourse.

Fair point splashing and TheBigJessie. I just fear that the increasing STI rates will now result those conversations being less about who got pregnant and more about who got genital herpes or who got chlamydia through not using condoms.

I agree that protection should be available. I just think that the emphasis on this should be condoms and that the bigger pictures needs to change otherwise splashing, you'll be hearing the same stories from the children of these kids and that really will be sad.