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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to expect a 5 year old to just play quietly till 7 am ? ?

68 replies

ginger19 · 26/04/2012 08:17

Just that really. Personally I think that he could muster it. Let me sleep till 7.
DS wakes at 5.45..or 6 ish .DH thinks 5 is too young to be left to his own devices in his room, or say , downstairs.

DS just nags and whines till I or DH get up with him....How does it work in your home?

Thanks!

OP posts:

imnotmymum · 26/04/2012 13:00

We used to have lovely snuggles until time to get up and a story and a cuppa. Make the most of it a few years down the line and you cannot get them out of their room until hair straightened, messages checked, bags packed with numerous "essential" school items...

diddl · 26/04/2012 13:01

Sounds really young to me also tbh.

(Old gimmer with teenagers here)

I think they used to come in with us & settle down again.

Flisspaps · 26/04/2012 13:07

DD is 2 (25mo, so a young 2 at that) and is allowed to play in her room, on her own, for an hour or so. Some mornings we suspect she'd been awake for a couple of hours before us.

There's nothing in there she can't play with safely, no pens, crayons, no sudocrem in reach, no cords hanging down.

She has a gate across the doorway ATM, but by age 5 I'd have no worries with her playing alone in there, no gate, whilst DH and I sleep!

Dropdeadfred · 26/04/2012 13:12

Does anyone have concerns about children watching tv alone? How do you know what they are watching? The news can be quite horrible sometimes... That is why I wouldn't have my child go downstairs and switch main tv on alone

imnotmymum · 26/04/2012 13:14

I can be assured that my kids would promptly switch off the news as it is sooooooooooo boring and watch the amazing world of Gumballs instead. Again depends on age and how handy they are with the remote.

southlundon · 26/04/2012 13:16

I taught my 3yo to read 7:00 on his clock so normally if he wakes up beforehand he'll wait until then and shout IT'S SEEEEEVEN O'CLOOOOOCK which is fine. Especially when I've set the clock slow and it's really 7:30

If he calls for you, and you don't think he's hurt or soiled himself, then just leave him to call and don't go in until 7am (or whatever time you've agreed with him).

Pleasehelpifyoucan · 26/04/2012 13:17

My six year old has just started going downstairs by herself and switching the TV on occasionally, I leave it pre-set to CBBC channel or BBC Two (which shows children's stuff in the morning). She can't work the changer (yet). The older one can though, I just rely on her being sensible enough not to change it, which she doesn't appear to want to do (news is boring to them, even Newsround is boring to them unless it has a baby animal story).

Once you have older children, the idea of leaving a 5 year old in their room for fear of their safety seems a bit overprotective (unless your husband feels so strongly about it in which case he can supervise from 5.45 am). At the very least, the 5 year old could play there on their own, and you could have a 'don't go downstairs til a parent comes' type rule.

CamperFan · 26/04/2012 13:20

DS1 is 5 and he stays in bed until 7am - he's always had a digital clock. We're really lucky as he never got out of bed when he was little either. But he wasn't always a brilliant sleeper and the 7am thing was part of the reward system we had when he was about 3, and it's just stuck. So going downstairs to watch TV is not an issue. He can look at a book if he wants (all the toys are downstairs anyway) but generally he just lies in bed singing and chatting, or even sleeping til 7am.

imnotmymum · 26/04/2012 13:20

How come 7:00 is the magic time have I missed something crucial ?? "If he calls for you, and you don't think he's hurt or soiled himself, then just leave him to call and don't go in until 7am (or whatever time you've agreed with him)." wow I could not do that I still look forward to my angels waking up and being with them even though 8,10,11 and 13. Have a snuggle !! Or get up and have an afternoon nap !!

BlueberryPancake · 26/04/2012 13:23

We put an alarm clock in DSs room and they know when it's time to come in our bedroom at at 7. Sometimes they play quietly with toys, sometimes they look at books/read. They are 6 and 5 and we have been doing this for about a year now.

beingagoodmumishard · 26/04/2012 13:26

maybe you could have the rule that DS only plays in his room and doesn't go downstairs if he wakes up early. Also if he is waking up at 5.45 maybe you could gradually increase the time he has to stay in his room so he gets used to it, so say the first few mornings he can come in at 6.00 and then slowly work towards to 7.00am. Hopefully it may also lead to him sleeping later if he is not getting any attention from you.

Would reward charts help? The reward could be a quiet toy he can play with in his room

My DS(7) has only just been allowed to go downstairs and watch tv in the morning and that is only on Sundays so he can watch Match of the Day.

By making them play in their room on their own does not prevent snuggle time, it just means snuggle time can start at 7.00am not 5.00am

imnotmymum · 26/04/2012 13:27

Maybe he going to bed too early that why he waking up before you want him to ?

WandaDoff · 26/04/2012 13:37

Have you tried blackout blinds? Is he waking up early because of the sunlight?

BlingLoving · 26/04/2012 13:38

Blimey. DS is not even a year old and we will not go to him before 6 am. As soon as he's old enough (next week perhaps? ) i'll be implementing a stay in his room/bed until 7 strategy. This morning he woke up and cried at 5:40. We left him and sure enough, after about 10 few minutes he lay down and went back to sleep until nearly 6:30.

2ombie5layer · 26/04/2012 13:40

We have been lucky so far with DS and DD1, both will happily play in their own room until we come and get them up. DD2 (7MO) is a little young yet and was up banging her legs down at 5.30 this morning. Im hoping that she copies from her big brother and sister and stays quiet until we decide its time to get up. Ive never had to do any training with my elder two regarding staying in their room, they just seemed to have developed the idea that its time to get up when we say they do.

BlingLoving · 26/04/2012 13:40

Also, even at such a young age, we've worked out that DS wakes up crying if he hasn't had enough sleep. The other morning we leapt out of bed when the cat woke us at 7:30 worried because we'd heard nothing from DS. He was sitting in his cot, singing to himself and generally looking very happy. I assume he had been awake for a while but was perfectly rested and happy.

imnotmymum · 26/04/2012 13:42

I have obviously spoiled my kids and I will pay the price !!! Bloody things getting me up out of bed I never knew you just ignored them !!

notyummy · 26/04/2012 13:46

Same as many of the others. We have had a rabbit clock thing (now a proper clock) in dds room since she was 2.5. She quickly learned that she was not to bother us and was to play quietly. When she was younger we didn't expect much beyond 6 45. Now she is 5 it is set for 8am at weekends! She reads, plays made up games and entertains herself and then comes bursting through for cuddles and a chat at 8am.

Pleasehelpifyoucan · 26/04/2012 13:47

Imnotmymum, ahh, early morning cuddles will be a part of their treasured memories. In my house, their memory will be me saying 'does it have a 7 at the front? if not, go back to bed' although we do actually usually have a morning cuddle, just from 7-7.15 or whenever we get up.

imnotmymum · 26/04/2012 13:53

Pleasehelp ha ha ! We did have 4 kids in 5 years though so perhaps it was just easier to pile in and we have had an open bed ever since !!

Loie159 · 26/04/2012 13:57

in our house we have the Gro Clock. IMO it the best thing since sliced bread. Rules are if you wake up before the clock goes to the sun, you can play on your bed with teddies etc (DS 4 DD3) and only wake us when the sun comes up. That is 7.45. someone else said once they realise there is nothing going on they sleep longer. Mine need 12 hours every night - but quite often we naturally wake at that time and they are either singing away in their rooms or still asleep. Maybe try one of them? But no I think it is fine for them to play until its a more soicable time for you!

RabbitsMakeBrownEggs · 26/04/2012 14:00

When I want a lie in, I make up a breakfast tray with fruit and cartons of juice, and cereal bars etc, and set it down outside their rooms. Put the DSi on charge and some DVDs out. The children know now (aged 6 and nearly 4) they can go downstairs and eat the breakfast at the table, then play quietly until my alarm goes off. I have no problem whatsoever with doing this. The older one will put the DVDs on and deal with any minor problems, and no one is allowed in the kitchen or to answer the door, and any big problems get brought to mummy.

Works for me.

beingagoodmumishard · 26/04/2012 14:01

I think it is lovely listening to my DS making up stories with his teddies whilst he plays quietly in his room, they all have magical adventures during the night

I don't think it is a case of ignoring them. For us it was a way of helping DS be happy in his room and particularly in his bed. From very early on it was obvious that DS was never going to go to sleep straight away when we put him down. Both my DH and I were the same when we were young (and I still takes ages to get to sleep) so we encouraged him to play quietly in his bed until he fell asleep. Which means that we have undisturbed evenings and the same technique works if he wakes up early. We all get the sleep we need - everyone happy

imnotmymum · 26/04/2012 14:05

being, that not ignoring listening to them I also love that and do not mean for one minute when we hear our angels go rushing in but "If he calls for you, and you don't think he's hurt or soiled himself, then just leave him to call and don't go in until 7am (or whatever time you've agreed with him)." That is ignoring them IMHO

beingagoodmumishard · 26/04/2012 14:12

if our DS calls for us we will go in to see him. If he is just calling us for attention we will tell him it is still bedtime and leave him. If he has had a bad dream etc. we will obviously stay with him until he feels better.

Maybe we are very lucky but DS rarely wakes us up demanding attention, although we do get the odd "I've had a bad dream" when he has literally got into bed and hasn't even had time to close his eyes

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