AIBU to think 3yrs old is too young to get up themselves, down stairs, turn on telly while parent still in bed

[scuzy]

and have no idea how long they are up when parent gets up? child is quite mature and always safe (so far) but it doesnt sit right with me? or should i feck off and mind my own business.

MrsShitty, the you obvioulsy need to do what is suitable for your child. But I have to wonder, would she do that too during the day?
Have you ever tried to let her get on with it whilst listening out and be reqady to intervene if need be?

I know some people who would not dream to let their dcs go downstairs on their own but really that's because they can't face the potential mess they might find afer getting up.

I wasn't there when he did it obviously but the stories are famous.

It does depend on the child. Dd2 still puts things in her mouth a lot at three, a while ago we were at a friend's house with some other children who were only two, they all went to play in the friend's dd's room and dd2 was the only one that was trying to eat small toys. So I can fully understand why some parents feel the need to watch their 3 year olds closely.

Yes 3 probably is to young IMO. DSD used to get up and get her breakfast and put the telly on when she was 3, but we lived in a flat then and our bedroom was right next to the living room. We started letting the dds go downstairs in the morning when dd1 was 6, and dd2 was 3.

I did do this a couple of times, ds was absolutely fine but i felt like a lazy, selfish slob...not at all worth it.

You say this happens every day, i would judge it too. Its incredibly lazy and i would assume -unless specific reason to think otherwise- that the parent went to bed late every night through choice and so was actively choosing to sleep through part of their childs waking hours, every day.

God, how dare they not spend every single waking moment with their precious diddums.

Not something I would do personally. My friend's dc (2 and 4 at the time) went downstairs one morning, opened the window in the lounge, climbed out (4 year old got a step for the 2 year old to climb down onto) and went to play in the paddling pool. Thankfully they were ok and their splashing and playing woke the parents. Mine climb in bed with us and watch tv, they are 3 and 6. At leadt if they are upstairs I can head off any fights and I would not trust my 3 year old at all.

Some of these stories the parents must be a bit silly. Why wouldnt you lock your doors and windows?

Look, you can pick apart my list all you like, they were just random examples. The fact is that 3yos do get into mischief and accidents do happen. If you don't want to face those facts, it isn't my problem.

As it happens, I do let my 4yo and 6yo downstairs alone briefly whilst I am in bed with DH on a weekend sometimes. BUT I go down with them and make sure they have what they need - prior to leaving them for 10 or 15 minutes whist I go back upstairs.

for a quickie pinktrees
we all know what accidents can occur from one of them

I wish. My 7 and 5 year old were talking the other day about trying to go downstairs to watch TV without waking us up...long talk about how they could probably do it if they were really really quiet. They have yet to manage such a task as they haven't figured out how loud their really really quiet is...

My 3 year old wakes, comes into my room, I vaguely acknowledge him before dozing off again and he's off downstairs. In fairness we have the tiniest house in the world, and I can generally hear what he's up to. He's quite happy to play and very rarely does anything naughty. Once I caught him tipping soap powder all over the kitchen floor, but that's the only incident I can think of. As a single parent I often have to leave him downstairs alone, eg when I shower, and he's totally fine, has been since even before he was 2. I would struggle if he needed my supervision every second of the day, and I doubt he would like it much either as he is very independent! All children and parents are different of course, but it works well for us.

Hmmm not something I would personally do. Maybe a tv in their room or snuggle up in their parents bed and watch cartoons for a while before everyone gets up. Also if they are up at 8-9 and their parents don't get up until say ten - eleven then who gets them breakfast and helps them if they want to go to the loo etc. I'm kind of shocked that so many people think this is ok because yes they could have an accident. If cleaning products etc aren't locked away and they did have access and drank them, or hurt themselves etc and had to be taken to hospital social services would be on those parents in a heartbeat for leaving such a young child unsupervised while they slept. If they were older it would be different but they are still very young and at that age have no sense!

I think it's absolutely fine.

I have done this since my son was three years old. He is seven now but has always been like a little old man. Very sensible etc, not one for juggling knives or sticking his fingers into electric sockets. This is just his personality btw not anything I'm responsible for!

Anyway agree with most people here, it depends on the child and parents know their children better than anyone else so they should be the judge of any given situation.

However my 7yo has morphed into a teenager already and lounges around in bed until at least 10am on weekends and 7.45 in the week. Have to prise him out of bed with a crowbar. At Christmas I had to throw stuff on his bed until he woke up. Think I was more excited than he was.

My DS has done this since he was 3 too. He is old beyond his years and I am fairly sure he would never do anything on the slightly far fetched list of reasons detailed above by pinktrees. By 4 he was serving himself breakfast - not a full fry up obviously but he loved doing it. I could hear him the whole time and he was totally ok, but it is not the same for all children that age of course, they just are not quite as sensible as others. And he could work the remotes for allthe sky/dvd/tv by the time he was 3.5. Each kid is different!

Also a single mum like Ineverfinishany - so it becomes part of life for us! I do not and have never helicopter parented my child.

I've never allowed this with my own DCs but don't care if anyone else does it

Ds started doing this at 3ish. He woke at 5.30 everyday and it was really taking its toll on me getting up with him that early every day when all he wanted to do was watch tv for a bit anyway. He shares a room with his sister and she needed to sleep later than that so sending him back to his room wasn't fair on her. My rule is that he has to come in first and check it's ok to go downstairs, that way I know he's down there and keep half an ear out

What are you meant to do if the child doesn't wake you up? Set your alarm from 5.30am on a weekend? Then click snooze every 5 minutes in the hope that you catch them getting up at some point?

My DS does get up on his own. He doesn't bother waking us up. Although, he has only done this since around (approx) the age of 5. Maybe just before he turned 5. He prefers having the mornings to himself. He gets complete control of the tv, whilst also comes on the computer and goes on Education City for a bit (Albeit, the last part has only been since he turned 6)

Yes, we have got up and found the living room a complete mess with toys, but that has been the worst case scenario. And he soon wakes us up when he is hungry (that is one thing he knows he is not allowed to do. I recall climbing on kitchen sides as a child, falling and splitting my chin wide open and considering all cereals are in the top cupboards, he has to ask us. Nor is he allowed to mess with anything hot) He does, however, attack the fruit bowl upon his awake so he does get that half an hour/hour to have complete control of the living room before coming through, jumping on us and singing "I'm hungry, I'm hungry, I'm hungry, I'm hungry, I'm hungrrrrryyyyy". That is if we aren't already awake.

It really does depend on the child. Some 3 year olds can be more advanced than others and are aware of certain dangers, and what they are and not allowed to do. Personally, my eldest I wouldn't of been happy with allowing him to be up on his own at 3, but maybe I will feel different with my youngest. Who knows?

I wish I could get 3yo DD to go downstairs on her own and watch TV. We sometimes imagine what it will be like when we reach that magical time when we can leave cereal on the table and just sleep. It reckon it's worth the potential destruction.

However, she insists on coming into our room and sitting between us until one of us breaks and gets up. Have found that passing her my iPhone will buy us another half an hour of sleep though... does that count?

I've always done this and as long as reasonable precautions are taken then I don't see a problem. I used to lock the kitchen door and let my oldest get on with it. He slept about 4 hours a night and I had ME. Sorry if it offends anyone but I needed more rest than that. (We were in a flat at the time) When I had my other kids I did the same but then of course my oldest son was around as well.

Being able to go downstairs unsupervised and put the tv on is surely one of the biggest milestones in a small child's life

Only surpassed by when they can safely make you a coffee and bring it upstairs for you.

Not sure how old eldest was when he did this - around 4 perhaps . . .

YABU. As others have said, unless you have a child in your sight at all times, anything could happen to them. Lots of people I know leave their child downstairs for up to half an hour while they have a shower and get dressed. As long as your house is safe, it does not matter where you are. If your child is out of your sight, I can see no difference between being in the shower to being in bed, apart from if you were in bed, a scream would wake you. In the shower, you would not hear the scream.

Also, you say she rises between 8-9 so they have an idea what time she got up...

Surely, as others have said, it depends on the child. My ds used to run his own bath at three - I remember a friend coming to stay and being absolutely . He wasn't entirely unsupervised, but he would go upstairs and run it and get in and I would come along later to chivvy him along. I never gave it a second thought - I knew he was perfectly capable so I just let him get on with it. He was going down to put his Thomas the Tank DVDs on from about two-and-half - he was (and still is) a v early riser so I let him get on with it. He never came to any harm. He is now nine, still usually the first up, and he sets the table for everyone for breakfast.

I think I could probably trust my 20 month old to do this, if it wasn't for the stairs. If we lived in a flat I definitely would!