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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to stop my 18month old from dayrime napping?

85 replies

bejeezus · 23/04/2012 22:08

It seems really wee. But I can't get her to sleep before 930pm in the evening if she has slept in the day. I'm a bit delirious with tiredness and craving child free evenings. It's also disrupting dd1s bedtime, she is 7 and needs sleep for school

Is it mean?

OP posts:
Original poster
bejeezus · 23/04/2012 22:09

Shod have said, she used to sleep beautifully up until 1 year old; asleep at 7pm no problem. So maybe she is ready to drop nap?

OP posts:
cybbo · 23/04/2012 22:10

What is your bedtime routine

Cos most 18 mth olds need a daytime sleep IMO

debka · 23/04/2012 22:12

wow, that's young. My 3yo still needs a nap most days! Have you tried cutting it down to just 45 minutes or half an hour?

perceptionreality · 23/04/2012 22:13

All children are so different - if she will stay awake in the day and is not miserable and grumpy but it means you can put her to bed on time then YANBU to do so.

My children all needed naps up til age 3 but some children need more sleep than others and your dd obviously needs less.

Noqontrol · 23/04/2012 22:14

You could try dropping the naps and see what happens. Some of my friends Dc did drop their naps early. But you could also try shortening the nap, limiting it to an hour or less to see if that works.

curiositykitten · 23/04/2012 22:14

It's worth giving it a try and seeing what happens. My DC2 stopped routinely napping at 17 months - her choice, not mine!

AnyFucker · 23/04/2012 22:16

eh ?

yabvvvvu

how exactly will you keep her awake if she wants to nap ? Water torture ? Confused

let her follow her natural rhythms...this too shall pass

xkcdfangirl · 23/04/2012 22:16

Could you still let her sleep but have the nap shorter?

DS (2.8) was used to having a 2.5hr nap in the day and was very difficult to settle at night time. We've cut it down to no more than 70mins max and this seems to be a better balance.

AnyFucker · 23/04/2012 22:17

never wake a sleeping child (IME)

WorraLiberty · 23/04/2012 22:17

I think you can only guide/encourage

You definitely can't stop her as she'll need her sleep

If guiding/encouraging her to stay away proves very easy...then you'll know you're doing the right thing.

PacificDogwood · 23/04/2012 22:18

I don't think that UABU as I would struggle with that kind of an evening myself.

I'd just urge caution as IME less daytime sleep does NOT equal better/ longer/earlier night sleep.
Could you try earlier badtimes, maybe 15 min earlier to start with and once she's got 9.15 cracked, move to 9pm etc etc? That worked for my DS4, but only when he was about 21 months, I hate to tell you. He now sleeps 1-2 hours during the day and from 8 til 7 at night. Yes, I am v v happy - it was a long slog.

The other 3 weren't quite as stubbern as far as sleeping when but with 2 of them I also found that 'sleep begat sleep' ie the more they slept during the day, the better they slept at night time.

I'd also second the really calm and consistent bedtime routine - stick with it - which can be a real challenge when you have other children to consider as well.

Huge sympathies, and good luck Smile.

Original poster
bejeezus · 23/04/2012 22:18

I have tried waking her up after an hour in the day, but it doesn't seem to help. I often can't manage to wake her up-ill bring het down stairs and she lies down and goes back to sleep. Once she's napping she is gone, but its possible to stop het going to sleep in the first place

Routine is bath at 6 -630ish, milk and story- sleep at 7-730pm, both girls to sleep- at least it was-bliss!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 23/04/2012 22:18

*awake...not 'away'

I wasn't suggesting you throw her out Blush

perceptionreality · 23/04/2012 22:19

AF - I think the OP means just not putting her to bed. Not forcing her to stay awake!

FeakAndWeeble · 23/04/2012 22:19

All children are different, I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. Be guided by what she's telling you. If she's the one asking to go down for a nap during the day then you probably can't prevent it. But if it seems to be more of a habit than a need then skip it.

PacificDogwood · 23/04/2012 22:19

went, not when. Doh!

Pumpster · 23/04/2012 22:19

If she's tired let her sleep.

Ajaney · 23/04/2012 22:20

Another vote for shorter nap

My 22 month old has around 70 minutes in the day, down from around 100 minutes at 18 months. He wakes normally just after 7am, naps around 1pm & goes to bed at 7pm.

girliefriend · 23/04/2012 22:20

yabu, I would not let her sleep more than an hour but she is still a baby and my dd at that age was having a 2 hr nap every afternoon!

I would see her playing you up at bedtime as not related to daytime naps and wonder what else was going on to, teeth, seperation anxiety etc.

olgaga · 23/04/2012 22:20

It's a bit too young - even if you could keep her awake you'll end up with a very stroppy toddler. Short of waking her up a bit earlier (if that's possible), cutting her nap a little and making sure she gets to do plenty of running around in the fresh air, I wouldn't try it yet. You'll end up with such a long day yourself you'll be too exhausted to enjoy child-free evenings!

If she needs a nap she'll nap. How would you keep her awake anyway? I suppose you could take up the trumpet, or drums...

TartyMcFarty · 23/04/2012 22:21

I feel your pain. All it takes these days is a 10min nap to knock DD's bedtime by up to 2 hours. Don't know the answer really, but I feel that overall she gets more sleep if I keep her awake until bedtime. A walk in the pushchair or a car journey though, and there's that strategy out of the window.

WorraLiberty · 23/04/2012 22:21

I'm trying to think back but I never put my kids to bed in the afternoon.

I think at that age they slept on the couch or in the buggy if we'd been out.

Maybe she wouldn't sleep so long/deeply if you tried not putting her to bed?

perceptionreality · 23/04/2012 22:21

I think if she needed the nap in the day, you would still be able to put her to bed no later than 8pm imo and ime.

FeakAndWeeble · 23/04/2012 22:23

girliefriend My DS is 13 months and has only been having hour long naps since 8 months. He very often doesn't have a nap at all during the day and will go a full 12 hours. I've never prevented him from napping - I'd bloody love it if he did it more - it's just the way he is. Apparently DH was exactly the same as a baby, and by 18mo he'd stopped napping totally.

Babies are all different with different needs. The OP may have a right bugger like mine a less sleepy baby.

cornflowers · 23/04/2012 22:24

My Dd2 (now 2) dropped her daytime nap at around 18 months for exactly the same reason. Almost immediately, she was falling asleep at bedtime every night, instead of resolutely staying awake until 9 or 10 every evening. Dropping the naps did seem slightly counter-intuitive at first as my other children still napped in the day until at least 3 and a half, but it was definitely the right thing for dd. Anyway, apparently needing less sleep than average is a sign of intelligence in a toddler :)