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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want DD's teacher to tell me off because DD did not have book bag?

43 replies

faintpinkline · 23/04/2012 16:54

DP took dd to school this morning. I put book bag in DD's hand as she left house, she got into car with it,she got out of car and went to school without it. Its the first time this year its been forgotten.

AIBU to expect not to be greeted with the words "please can you ensure dd brings her book bag in future" I didn't even know until then it hadn't gone to school and anyway surely its DDs job to make sure she's got it

OP posts:
5Foot5 · 23/04/2012 16:55

YABU

How did the teacher know she had been dropped off by someoine other than you?

Wuld you rather she teell your DD off?

Debsbear · 23/04/2012 16:56

YANBU and out of interest How old is DD (and DP!!)?

pingu2209 · 23/04/2012 16:57

this really bugs me too. My daughters reception teacher talks to the parents like they are children. She has a knack of making parents feel like failures. She was even flagged in the Ofsted report and the head teacher had to tackle her attitude to parents.

SunflowersSmile · 23/04/2012 16:57

Depends how old dd is [if reception/ year 1 may need reminder].
Dp is the one who needs to shout 'book bag/ pack lunch' etc at her as she leaves the car!

WorraLiberty · 23/04/2012 17:00

"please can you ensure dd brings her book bag in future"

YABU if you think that's a 'telling off' Confused

LindyHemming · 23/04/2012 17:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sarcalogos · 23/04/2012 17:02

Not really a telling off is it? And what is the teachers alternative?

Pinkflipflop · 23/04/2012 17:06

YABU

I politely told a child that they must, must, must bring their book bag to school after it had been forgotten for the third time that week. The mum rang the school to complain and said she was taking both children out of the school as she "didn't want children who felt under pressure to conform to rules" rather she wanted them to be nonchalant about routine.

Said mum didn't take children out of school after I was made to apologise for daring to remind the child to bring her book bag
Confused

Floggingmolly · 23/04/2012 17:08

She didn't tell you off, she reminded you that your dd needs her book bag! How should she have phrased it, to avoid damaging your delicate sensibilities? Grin
Toughen up.

TrinityRhino · 23/04/2012 17:10

YABU
thats not a telling off, was polite and your dd does need her bookbag with her

how old is she?

I'm assuming 5 ish so you should be checking she has what she neds when she gets out of the car
or any other adult that takes her

AChickenCalledKorma · 23/04/2012 17:11

"Oh, did her dad forget it? Thank you, I'll remind him to check." That's all you needed to say.

Original poster
faintpinkline · 23/04/2012 17:11

Oh alright will plead pregnancy hormones Grin Just irritable at the moment and taking everything to heart - I'll tell DP off later then as he really should have made sure she got out of car with it

OP posts:
Original poster
faintpinkline · 23/04/2012 17:12

DD's 6

OP posts:
Sparks1 · 23/04/2012 17:12

*I politely told a child that they must, must, must bring their book bag to school after it had been forgotten for the third time that week. The mum rang the school to complain and said she was taking both children out of the school as she "didn't want children who felt under pressure to conform to rules" rather she wanted them to be nonchalant about routine.

Said mum didn't take children out of school after I was made to apologise for daring to remind the child to bring her book bag*

You have to be kidding me?! You had to apologise to her!

[ speechless ]

Pinkflipflop · 23/04/2012 17:17

Yes and I'm still raging about it!

I can barely pass myself with said mum even now.

Pinkflipflop · 23/04/2012 17:18

So can the mum who started this post please bring her children to my school as forgetting book bag once in a year is a very minor offence!!

Sparks1 · 23/04/2012 17:21

*Yes and I'm still raging about it!

I can barely pass myself with said mum even now.*

I'm not surprised. What a complete waste of space as a parent. I'm not sure who is worse though. The parent or (i presume) the head who a) didn't back you up and b) effectively vindicated the parents completely wrong ethos on how to bring up a child.

flyingspaghettimonster · 23/04/2012 17:22

I get fed up of being told to make sure the bookbag comes in... The majority of bookbag free days involved sleepovers with grandparents. I also don't much care if my 6 year old has it or not since it only contains the good citizenship log and requests for more money, photo day etc.

So I think yanbu as she should just accept some of us are crappy parents who don't care about the correct method of carrying home the sacred school communications.

thefirstmrsrochester · 23/04/2012 17:23

That doesn't surprise me unfortunately Pink!
I'm a parent helper in dc school and got complained about to the head for chasing up the whereabouts of a family fun bag (train one - v much in demand). Child took it at start of term & it never materialised again.

Remainder of class were waiting their turn to get it Sad

Teacher was probably a bit sorry for your dd not getting to pick a new book this week. Don't read too much into it.

hellymelly · 23/04/2012 17:23

Well i will buck the trend and say YANBU. If it was very frequent then yes, ok, I would expect the teacher to say something, but all parents forget something now and again. Its just inevitable. I think some teachers forget that they are talking to adults when they talk to parents, they are so used to being with small children.

Callisto · 23/04/2012 17:25

I really think at 6yo parents need to be responsible for ensuring that their child takes the right stuff into school. I think you are being very U to expect your DD to remember she needs her bookbag.

startail · 23/04/2012 17:27

YA/ANBU
Dependent on whether or not the teacher spoke to you as if you were 6.

As another poster said teachers who speak to parents like they are their pupils are really annoying.

Exteachers, who talk to the whole village from 7-70 as if they are naughty Y7s are extremely annoying!

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 23/04/2012 17:32

YABU. It's really annoying when parents don't remember the children's book bags. It's the thin end if the wedge. They won't have PE kit next. Wink

thebody · 23/04/2012 17:38

Don't take it to heart, it really doesn't matter, just remind dp she needs it in future, sure teacher didn't mean to be rude, she is only doing her job and maybe lots if kids forgot that day, after all how many parents jump in to complain if Dcs don't change their books every other day??

Pinkflipflop, your head is a disgrace to have made you apologise, how ridiculous. Thus us exactly why some kids are out if control because stupid parents don't back up the teachers. Next it will be the police and courts who actually
DO make her kids confirm to the rules. Silly cow.

WorraLiberty · 23/04/2012 17:40

So I think yanbu as she should just accept some of us are crappy parents who don't care about the correct method of carrying home the sacred school communications

Your child will be bringing a bag to and from school for the rest of its school life

Therefore, training them to remember to bring it to and from school is very important.

Accepting some people are crappy parents only has a detrimental effect on one person in this case...and that's the child.