Fish knives and coasters

[seoladair]

Back from ILs again. The fish knives made another appearance (fish pie this time rather than fish-cakes; fish knives still unnecessary IMO!)
Anyway. More etiquette conundrums!
Apparently we're not allowed to refer to the mats we put our wine glasses on as "coasters", and the wine bottle coaster can only be described as a "coaster" not as a "wine bottle coaster". Etiquette experts, is this correct? And if so, why should I care?!!

Front of

gosh! Betjeman was really nasty wasn't he? What a snob!

All of you advocating putting glasses straight on the tablecloth are iredeemably non-U: Tablecloths are only used at luncheon, never at dinner

It actually is great entertainment - thank you to the poster who suggested I am lucky in having a fre source of amusement.
Here is another rule from IL's table; it is frowned upon to say "Pass the salt please". We have to say "would anyone like some salt?"

I have been amused several times by guests who don't know about this rule, and accept MIL's offer of salt, but fail to inquire whether she would like some salt. Eventually she repeats her question then FIL, husband or me take pity on her and pass it to her! God forbid she might have to lower herself to ask for the salt herself!

Take a bottle of port with you next time you go: there are millions of snobby rules about the passage of the port which you should mug up on. Then you can play the snobby old trout at her own game.

I think they have a thing about passing the cheese board too.
They also think it's irredeemably vulgar not to remove every single piece of chorizo from its packet and put it on the lunch table, even if a huge quantity of it will definitely remain uneaten.
I don't have a problem with this per se, it's just that hygiene sometimes falls by the wayside. At the last visit, FIL inadvertently threw out the chorizo packet, to be castigated by MIL for his stupidity. She then fished the packet from the bin and put the leftover chorizo back in it. Eew. I tried to forget that the paper towels which cleared up the cat's vomit before lunch were in the bin.

But it's very non-U to care about hygiene apparently!

Technically they are ALL table mats if you are using them on the table, including the one under the wine bottle (although if they had any sense of breeding they would decant it anyway - feel free to point this out)

Ha ha! Yes that's true. They do have decanters - I shall suggest that these ought to be employed at every meal without exception, including breakfast
which would suit FIL down to the ground and give him an excuse to start on the wine before 11 am

Agog at cheese and chorizo for a light lunch (luncheon actually - remember to mention that to MIL!)

And forget Nancy Mitford, who did at least have the excuse of being pre-war, try Jilly Cooper who likes to include a nouveau character in her novels for a bit of commoner-bashing.

Their social climbing reached its heights when they got my husband into an extremely grand and famous school. They still haven't got over it.
then my husband ruined it all by marrying me instead of the daughter of a duke

You're supposed to use 2 forks, but I quite like my gran's fish knives and forks and seeing as they exist I'm going to darn well use them and I do for fish and chips and it makes me smile!

Thank you for bringing up the tarnish issue. That is the correct justification for having fish knives. I was getting quite het up reading them being unfairly maligned above! That poem and Hyacinth Bucket have given them official naff status but I still use them because we inherited a set and would otherwise run out of silver when serving multiple courses to large numbers of guests.

I personally think it highly uncouth to use a drinks mat at the dinner table. Wine glasses have stems which mean the liquid contained in them should not cause condensation to arrive at the table surface. and if it does then wine served is far to cold!! Water in short glasses should also be served at room temperature during a meal as mixing hot food with cold water would terribly intolerable on the stomach.yes the wine bottle my be placed on a coaster but certainly not on the table, it should be on the sideboard from where the "man" can fill guests glasses should they be inufficiently so.

BTW I also have steak knives

That's me then , inherited the cutlery plus the dreaded fish knives. Never use the fish knives , odd things

Coasters are essential if you have decent furniture - don’t know what the correct alternative name is tho?!? Fish knives fucking baffling! Maybe because I’m left handed? They are for fillets of fish tho not a bloody pie where it’s in bits! Your in laws are mad! But if you have nice stuff definitely use a coaster for drinks.