to HATE HATE HATE ikea with a passion

[MistyMountainHop]

i LOVE their stuff (which on mn probably makes me a chav )

but i HATE going there and avoid where possible

we have been today (to the notts one) and it was Hell On Earth. Rammed with people aimlessly wondering about, as if they have just gone for a day out. we wanted to go for lunch in the cafe but all the sad cunts people were queuing out of the cafe door and there was no where to sit, in fact people were even Standing Up eating :/

DH and I had several pointless arguments and i noticed loads of couples around doing the same and at that point i started to get a horrible fear that we were Exactly The Same As Other People :( walking sheep-like round ikea on a sunday coz we have got fuck all better to do

in actual fact my parents gave us a £200 gift card for christmas and thats why we were there. (but thats probably just me trying to justify why were were Allowed to be there and everyone else was a boring twat with nowt better to do.)

also, it might be my imagination but i always get perved at by men when i go to ikea not saying i'm owt great far from it but i can only deduce that they are probably just bored, have been dragged there by their Ohs and simply looking at random women to pass the time.

aaargh i hate people

and to top it off we bought matching bedside cabinets that look shite now they are assembled. and we can't return them. because they are assembled. :(

I witnessed a full-on fight in the Ikea car-park.
Car park was madly busy, there were 2 lines of traffic at rightangles. Someone was patiently waiting for a space, only to have another driver breeze up and poach it .

And yes, you were also one of the sad cunts who wanted to eat at the same time. Baa! Baa! You're just a load of sheep tempted by meatballs for 10p

snorts at this comment and then waves to the OP, i'm in Nottingham too
ikea is a pita on a weekend, what were you thinking?

Jeans have a condom pocket! Is that really what that small pocket at the front is ?

Yanbu OP. Ikea is hell on earth, purpose built for me people who think they are too posh for Argos

Several Nottingham Ikea frequenters here...maybe we should all go to Ikea at a pre-arranged date/time and see if we can identify each other afterwards on a thread?

Ikea is indeed the devil?s armpit.

Sometime though it?s hard to avoid when one is on a budget. Last weekend I had to go to get a picture frame. Between leaving my flat, getting bus to Ikea, purchasing said frame, ignoring mini Dime bars, bus home, in the door it took me all of an hour and 15 mins. Pretty impressive I think.

I cannot understand people who to Ikea for a day out. What?s that all about?? I march in, know exactly where the item I?m looking for is, ignore all the tat and get out as soon as humanly possible. I even know where the staff door is to get you across the shop without having to perambulate amongst the piles of poo.

So no, I?m certainly not a fan although I recognise that it offers people some good designs at good prices. My self imposed rule is that it?s fine to purchase stuff from Ikea as long as it?s not furniture or lamps. Rugs, picture frames, kitchen stuff are ok. I am very into interiors and hate the identikit Ikea look. But what I really hate is people buying 'art' from Ikea. Show some imagination people, you don't need to purchase everything from that one stop blue and yellow warehouse.

A sunday can be ok if you arrive early when the store opens for browsing, get your stuff then straight to the till where there is no queue.

We bought a kitchen in Ikea. Its lovely. But involved many ikea trips, often with both our small children in tow. When we finished with the kitchen I said to dh "I'm never going to Ikea again, it stresses me out". He said "OK dear..." without believing, but I never have. That's six years. And they've been a great six years.

However I must admit dh has picked up a couple of items.

YABU to hate Ikea and YABU to remind me that I haven't been in ages and need picture frames.

Although Ikea picture frames should come with that warning "this picture frame will self destruct in 30 seconds." Not because they break but because I must have bought hundreds of them but I don't know where they all are. I'm starting to suspect that DH is selling them on ebay as soon as we get home.

I do like Nottingham Ikea but have you tried the one at Leeds? It's on a big retail park and they have a Home Sense (TK Maxx without the clothes) just a short walk away.

You can easily customise Ikea stuff, they sell meatballs, lingonberry sauce and those sweets called Scum Mushrooms and you I get to wander about ignoring your my DH as your my DS makes him play racing drivers with the trolley and pretend you are I am a real Swedish person being Swedish and shopping in Sweden.

I hate the place with a passion too, but I'm typing at an Ikea desk with the monitor in a matching cabinet, and the house is full of MDF and artfully stained pine from there - you can't really quibble with value for money.

Dh has his own ploy, which involves (as others have said) going an hour or so before closing, parking in the pick-up area then going in through the pick-up exit doors i.e. through the tills the wrong way and into that big warehouse-y area.

He also has a secret Ikea map in his head and knows the shortcuts - but neither of us knew about the condom pocket in our jeans. However, we have no use for it as he has had the snip.

I love Ikea- but think that is because we only go about once a year. Its usually for a mooch around and quite an aimless wander. My DH moans all the way around, until he can buy a hotdog.

My personal favourite part of the Ikea experience are the huge blue and yellow bags- they are so handy.

When we go it's always mid week in the evening.

We never take children!

Thanks OP.
I now have stuck in my head.

I went there last Sat, got there for opening, had brekkie and was out before 11.
With 450kg of laminate floor and a car practically on its bumpstops.

I went last week, and they are giving the blue and yellow bags away free with purchases now! Did everyone know this? I was so excited!

What store was that? We (Croydon) don't unless things have dramatically changed since Monday...

Nottingham

Ikea is UK is soooooo much better than Ikea in China! Here it really is several thousand people browsing, making use of the free aircon/heating and sleeping (seriously - full on flat out) and taking photos of each other on every bed/sofa. There is even a senior citizens dating group that have made a corner of the cafe their meeting place so you can never (ever ever) get a seat). And that's not the worst! little old women will sift through your trolley if you look the other way (cos they want to see what you're buying) and everyone behind you in the queue will gather around the card machine while you're trying to pay (keep your pin secret? yeah right!) so they can marvel over how much you are spending while they clutch their little pack of napkins.

.... but the absolute worst.... more than once I have got to the end of an aisle in the warehouse, desperately trying to find another bloody box.... to find a child weeing on the floor - usually helped by their mother (at least the time the kid was doing a poo the mother was holding out a plastic bag!

I went to Ikea Dublin a few months ago and it was a beautiful oasis of peace compared to Shanghai! (but you are right that it's only Ikea here that seems to bring out this kind of behaviour - most places people are quite civilised!)

Never, I repeat never go there on Sundays. I made that mistake once (shudder). Friday or saturday nights are good (not too many sad feckers like me there then), or a day during the week