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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to HATE HATE HATE ikea with a passion

93 replies

MistyMountainHop · 22/04/2012 17:08

i LOVE their stuff (which on mn probably makes me a chav Hmm )

but i HATE going there and avoid where possible

we have been today (to the notts one) and it was Hell On Earth. Rammed with people aimlessly wondering about, as if they have just gone for a day out. we wanted to go for lunch in the cafe but all the sad cunts people were queuing out of the cafe door and there was no where to sit, in fact people were even Standing Up eating :/

DH and I had several pointless arguments and i noticed loads of couples around doing the same Blush and at that point i started to get a horrible fear that we were Exactly The Same As Other People :( walking sheep-like round ikea on a sunday coz we have got fuck all better to do

in actual fact my parents gave us a £200 gift card for christmas and thats why we were there. (but thats probably just me trying to justify why were were Allowed to be there and everyone else was a boring twat with nowt better to do.)

also, it might be my imagination but i always get perved at by men when i go to ikea Confused not saying i'm owt great far from it but i can only deduce that they are probably just bored, have been dragged there by their Ohs and simply looking at random women to pass the time.

aaargh i hate people Angry

and to top it off we bought matching bedside cabinets that look shite now they are assembled. and we can't return them. because they are assembled. :(

OP posts:
Columbia999 · 22/04/2012 17:42

I love Ikea and would like to live in one of their snazzy rooms that has an entire flat in one room and tons of storage space! I love the jammy meatballs as well, and the only thing I don't like is picking stuff out and then finding it's not in the aisles because they've run out.
The best times to go are during weekdays, or after 6pm on weeknights. I wouldn't go near it at the weekend, after bad experiences when I used to have to go to the Wembley one and it used to take two hours just to get into the car park from the North Circular road.

MrsKittyFane · 22/04/2012 17:59

Misty I know exactly how you feel about the tiny little room sets with their perfectly fitting furniture and storage to die for.
Every little space ingeniously used.
I need one of their designers too. :(
Don't go again, it's too depressing :o

MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 22/04/2012 18:12

I was working there last Wednesday and a woman approached me to gush about how tidy it all was, and how calm compared to when she was last in. It turned out she has only ever been at the weekend, which as everyone knows is the time when we hand over the reins to Lucifer (or one of his minions) and become the actual and real life seventh circle of hell.

I spent yesterday folding satan's towels whilst being followed around by people unfolding them and dropping them on the floor. In front of me. Straight after I'd just picked them up as they were watching.

bitofcheese · 22/04/2012 18:37

i love their food! meatballs, chips all washed down with apple pie & cream :)

itdoesnthurttohavemanners · 22/04/2012 18:43

OP - I LOVED working for IKEA! absolutely loved it! Used to design the roomsets :D Great place to work..well..it was. It's changed now. Taken over by the likes of B+Q management, and losing all it's Swedishness..staffing got cut horrendously, and yes, was pretty shit to work there by the time I left!

The people who I know who are left are only still there because they're stuck!! All the decent people LEFT!

Defo suggest going late night tho ;) OR (ironically) go first thing Saturday morning. It's dead til about 1pm. (it's the one period where all stores are challenged to up their visitor level, cos all stores area dead Saturday morning) Do not EVER go on a Sunday. It's hell.

tethersand - you know picking up and eating something you haven't paid for is theft??! (even if you do intend to pay for it!)

Itsjustafleshwound · 22/04/2012 18:44

The worst thing about IKEA online is that the date they give at checkout is only an estimate - cue DH and I using garden furniture for another week or so because we were too fast on the freecycle button.

I love IKEA - it is just a great example of whT shopping has become ....

Miggsie · 22/04/2012 18:47

YANBU
I hate it too.

DH took his mum and sister there once, they were there 8 hours. His Mum and sister looked at everything, although they bought nothing.

DH came back saying "thank Christ you didn't come with us"

I hate the place, it motivated me to get a better job so I could shop in John Lewis.
But I am a rampant snob Grin

Hownoobrooncoo · 22/04/2012 18:48

I don't like it but then every so often (like once every year or two) I feel I need to experience it again. It's always a disappointment and I get halfway round and feel the need to stop following the dictated route and backtrack against the flow, break out through a fire door or something. It really makes me feel like a lab rat and I get jittery and downright annoyed and rebellious.

startail · 22/04/2012 18:53

YABU

I do agree their Web site is shite and you can't buy what you want online.

I like wandering round the shop itself, but we are a long way awaySad

dexter73 · 22/04/2012 19:08

I love Ikea. We went to the Southampton one on Saturday at about 3pm and it was fine. Hardly a queue at the cafe, checkout or food market. I could live there too!
We also discussed it as a possible venue to live in if there was a zombie invasion as the bottom level can be shuttered off and we could live on meatballs!

IvanaHumpalot · 22/04/2012 19:23

I went to Ikea Milton Keynes today. Went in at the exit (past the tills), went straight to the garden & plants section, picked up what I wanted, paid & left.
Golden rules:

  1. I never take DH.
  2. I check stock levels before.
  3. I take list, tape measure & note book with any important info re space in house for product.
  4. No browsing - you will be in there for days.

Ikea is in the 7th level of hell, but Euro Disney is the 8th...

MarySA · 22/04/2012 19:57

I have had a few things from Ikea and must say that they have been good quality ie not fell apart! But not saying that it would be my shop of choice if I could afford better. I don't really like that ikea look very much. But it's ok in kids rooms. But visiting the actual shop is enough to drain me of energy for about a month.

Northernlurker · 22/04/2012 20:16

We last went on Good Friday. It was ok. We took a list and had checked stock before leaving. Therefore there was one thinng we had to get - a bed for dd's room and that was in low stock - so we took the short cut through to the warehouse, got it, made our way through and paid. Then we went back again for the other stuff that wasn't as critical. We made it round without a major row.
We have found in the past that going with another couple from church was a good strategy - nobody can fight then as we are busy showing each other what good liars Christians we are. Grin
The other couple bought a huge amount of stuff - it was right before their second child arrived - and dh helped the other dh to load the car. A challenging task which involved unpacking most of it as it turns out that the calculated 5cm clearence other dh had worked out from the website, was NOT enough. In the end they drove off with their toddler in his car seat sort of surrounded by an ocean of wood. Had we not been there to help there would undoubtedly have been a very ugly scene Grin It always amazes me how many people DO go to Ikea in a state of advanced bumpedness. You cannot move in the Leeds one for 9 month pregnant bumps.
It also clearly drives some people insane - as dh was fetching the car to load up our second load I watched a couple try to get a double mattress in to the boot of their saloon car WITHOUT putting the seats down. They were accompanied by two young children - no idea WHAT they were thinking. Did they assume tehir car had magical expansion powers? In the end she wheeled the mattress back inside - to pay for delivery, to exchange it, to file for a divorce - who knows?

Clytaemnestra · 22/04/2012 20:17

It doesn't need to even be late night, the Notts one is our local one, and if we need to go I pick DH up from the station after work, drive there with DD, have dinner in the cafe and then do our shopping. DD thinks it's a massive treat and even DH, who loathes IKEA and everything about it has to admit it's not too bad.

Grockle · 22/04/2012 20:33

Ooo, can you now order online? I don't know where else to get a cheapish wardrobe but I have no way of getting one home. If they deliver, that'd be perfect!

Floggingmolly · 22/04/2012 20:59

You were only able to see all the sad cunts in Ikea because you were there yourself, op. Did that not occur to you?

ineedabodytransplant · 22/04/2012 21:15

I used to go to the Croydon Ikea on a Monday at 11pm. Usually only a dozen or so people there.

Now the Southampton one has opened it takes me 30 minutes to get there so usually go mid-late morning and it's fine

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 22/04/2012 21:27

Hope I'm wrong but I don't think they have Mini Daim Bars now Sad

LeeCoakley · 22/04/2012 21:35

Nooooooo! Shock Those and the hot dogs are the main reasons for going!

Sirzy · 22/04/2012 21:37

I can't link from my phone but if you search for "I fear
Ikea, Lancashire hotpots" On YouTube it sums up the place perfectly!

dexter73 · 22/04/2012 21:41

They have their own brand of the mini daim bars now instead of the branded ones.

LeeCoakley · 22/04/2012 21:54

I hope they taste as good!

KeepOrfThemCarbs · 22/04/2012 21:58

I hate it there. HATE IT.

What is with the insane lift in the Coventry one? I never know which floor the lift bloody well stops at. Crappy old place.

And I went to the cafe once, never again. Slop.

Hopefullyrecovering · 22/04/2012 22:00

IKEA is hell on earth

Pure hell on earth

YANBU OP

The thing I particularly hate about it, apart from the self-assembly tat, is being processed through. Factory shopping. You can only walk at one pace. That pace being the shopping shuffle, where you walk along at the pace of the most infirm person currently being processed.

It's an utterly revolting experience. Whoever dreamt this concept up should have to spend his (for it will be a his) eternity being processed through IKEA. Endlessly. Preferably with a Billy Bookcase rectally fitted.

Aboutlastnight · 22/04/2012 22:00

I hate the smell of the Ikea cafe. And how you sit there with your meatballs and glance up and realise everyone is obese and cramming shit food into their holes like they'll never eat again. And everything tastes the same.

And you get to the check out and in front of you is a line of couples with a set of candles, some horrific wicker basket set and a pot plant.

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