DH and weekend housework. AIBU?

[GonnaBuildAHouse]

I am a SAHM. 4 dc's.
During the week, I do all the housework. This is fine. Dh comes home and doesn't have to do much.
At the weekend I still have the same housework to do - school clothes, work clothes, football kit etc need washing, hoovering still needs doing otherwise we would drown in a sea of dog hairs. Again, this is fine, I'm happy to do it, I don't complain that I still do it at the weekend. (dh does stuff around the house, he's not lazy)
But....... every single bloody weekend, he makes nice comments about how I too could have a break at the weekend if I did the housey stuff during the week.
So what the crappity feck does he think I do all week? Sit on my arse and MN all day? (ahem)
Has he not noticed that the house is reasonably tidy because I do this stuff every single day?
Does he think his and the dc uniform is going to wash itself?
I am genuinely happy to do it, I'm just a little pissed at the fact that he clearly thinks I don't do anything during the week and use the weekend to catch up.

So, WIBU to leave the washing, the dishwasher, the hoovering, the dog walking, sorting the dc packed lunches, and every other thing I do (I would still look after the baby) for a couple of days, so he can see that I'm not just having cups of tea and watching Jeremy Kyle?

Again, I am more than happy in the role I play at home. Dh is not lazy. I just want him to realise that I am busy during the week too.

Get the kids to help fgs. My dd is 10 and is hoovering the living room at the moment. My 6 year ds is folding clothing. I really dont understand why parents dont get their dc's to help out with the housework.

Ironing is pointless. Hairy dogs necessitate the hoover, true, but time can be saved by hoovering the dog directly.

I have not discovered a way to abolish clothes- and dish-washing. Yet.

DH and the 2 boys aged 10 and 7 were sitting playing on the wii this afternoon.

The hoovering needed to be done
The washing was in my arms about to be put in the wm.
The veggies needed preparing for dinner
Clothes needed putting away
The beds were stripped but needed new bedding
I had just come back from Waitrose

so I shouted that it was not fair that I did it all while they sat back and did nothing!

DH hoovered the whole house
DS1 put the bedding on both beds.
DS2 put the clothes away
DS1 set the table for dinner
DH prepared the veggies!

Job done!!

Everyone should have the same amount of lounging about time. So if there are jobs to do at the weekend then everyone should pitch in and help.

The boys are now on the wii again and I am Mumsnetting.

That is fair!!!

tinkertitonk naturalism and paper plates.

Well Bananas you and I have now solved the entire housework issue. Shall we be thanked do you think?

He gets plenty of company from me at the weekend, honestly I'm not spending the weekend racing round working!

As an example, yesterday morning I unloaded the dishwasher then put in last nights tea things and this mornings breakfast things, then put a load of washing in the dryer and dh's and dc uniforms in the wash. It took about 5-10 minutes. If I left it til Monday, the house would be over-run with dirty plates and Dh and dc would go to work/school naked!
After lunch (that Dh cooked) I loaded the dishwasher and turned it on.
I emptied it and put stuff away before tea time.
The house was messy. I had a tidy up when the dc had gone to bed.
It took 5-10 minutes.
So in all, maybe at most 30 minutes housework, stuff that has to be done. Things that I'm more than happy to do.
I do talk to Dh about it, but he doesn't get that having 4 dc about means that it will seem a mess at the weekend.

DH and I both work full time so the house gets a scant going over during the week, just to keep it liveable in. Even so, doesn't take long to whip round at the weekend and have the rest of the weekend relatively free. I only iron on sunday afternoon and refuse to iron anything belonging to teen DDs on the grounds they are quite big enough to do their own.
I am amazed at some of the housework threads on here and the amount of work some people give themselves. Mind you, we don't have an upstairs and half a dozen bedrooms with en-suites and two bathrooms so I suppose our load is less .

OP - it sounds like you are doing just what needs doing at the weekend.

It would be funny to leave it for a day though and go out! Leave DH to the ongoing mess.

I have done this with DH though and whilst the children are fed and played with, the house looks like a bomb has hit it!!!!

Forehead - the dc do help. They strip their beds and put clean sheets on, they tidy up their shoes/clothes/schoolbags, they help to cook, they feed the animals.

I think he makes comments because the house is messier because we are all a bit slacker at the weekend. Then when I quickly tidy it up, he thinks it should have been done, and doesn't realise that it was tidy, and what I'm tidying up is stuff that's accumulated over the weekend.
(I've confused myself in the last paragraph )

I must admit, having never owned a dishwasher it does make me smile when I see so many people complaining about loading/unloading them.

They sound more trouble than they're worth.

But nowadays (and I speak as a SAHM) we have so many mod cons that our Mums didn't have....like washing machines, dishwashers, hoovers, microwaves, freezers, supermarkets, online shopping.

So in my own exerience (and thinking back to my Mum) being a SAHM nowadays is a totally different thing and much easier to keep on top of everything.

Especially if like me, you have school aged children.

Worra - did I sound like I was complaining about it? I didn't mean to. I love my dishwasher :)

That's the thing, I love being a SAHM and really appreciate having mod cons.
Believe me, I'm not complaining about my lot :)

No not you specifically OP

But it does seem as though the row over who loads/unloads the dishwasher, has simply replaced the traditional row over who does the washing up

You sound like a clean freak to me! It won't kill you to not hoover for 2 days!

Nakedness,shave the dog,paper plates and take away. Solved.

My dh said the same thing to me today...

"what are we doing today?"
"well i have to tidy up the house is a bit of a mess"
"why don't you tidy up during the week?"

I lost the plot, Friday i was at swimming with dd1s class, then came back and did wages and invoicing for our company and then dd2 had a friend over after school. Yesterday took the dds to swimming classes and had a migraine so had to lie down...no one did anything whilst i was asleep so the place is a mess.

I asked him if he thinks i just sit on my arse all week watching Jeremy Kyle....i didn't wait for an answer.

Think i should leave the bastard!

I am at home too and keep the place tidy all week, do a big clean on friday change beds etc so when we sit down to friday night drinks the place looks great. I cook all week but not friday, its everyone fend for themselves that night, sat is pot luck and apart from the uniform wash and a bit of ironing I do nothing else... its my weekend too. DH probably doesnt really notice the messy carpet on Sun but he does notice come monday and its all been done again. works for me weekends are for family to be together. enjoy being with him at weekends and just catch up in the week. no one will say when you are gone 'oh but the house was always nice' the kids want family fun and memories not memories of a clean home. He is out of order suggesting you should do it in week when he clearly has no idea how much you do. as I say if its spotless friday he will notice and then again on sun when its a tip again.

Can you change the days you do things? Get all the washing done by Friday for example ( Friday's uniforms get done in next round of washing) cook in bulk during the week too?
Sorry but I'm with him. It can be done in the week.

Tbh if you are only doing 30 mins housework a day at the weekend I can't really see what the issue is?

Baroness, your contribution (takeaway) is admirable but you really should acknowledge the prior work of Bananas and myself, documented above. That is the tradition in scientific discourse.

Tree - you need to see my house before you call me a clean freak! Two heavily shedding dogs in a small house is grim! Add to the mix a toddler who puts anything and everything in his mouth. The hoovering sadly does need to be done! (I don't iron anything though)

MrsKitty - if I don't keep on top of washing, doing washes every day, it would take ages to get back on top of it. I can only get so many loads washed and dried. Dh only has one set of uniform so it needs to be done over the weekend. The boys play football on Saturday, then need clean kit for Monday, so again, has to be done.

Essential - exactly! It's not like I'm spending all day every day making the house a pristine palace :)

YANBU but I would tell him first, not drop it all without warning to make your point. If you tell him and he doesn't believe you or gives you a wry 'Yes, I see...' then you could say that you are going to do this (or at least, the things that can be left without harming your DCs) so that he can see for himself.

I have a lot of respect for you - I am SAHM to just two; they are with me all day at the moment as little ones so I have my fair share of work with them, but even if I had more time I would find the demands of clothes washing and meal cooking for four a drag... and you have it for six!