DH and weekend housework. AIBU?

[GonnaBuildAHouse]

I am a SAHM. 4 dc's.
During the week, I do all the housework. This is fine. Dh comes home and doesn't have to do much.
At the weekend I still have the same housework to do - school clothes, work clothes, football kit etc need washing, hoovering still needs doing otherwise we would drown in a sea of dog hairs. Again, this is fine, I'm happy to do it, I don't complain that I still do it at the weekend. (dh does stuff around the house, he's not lazy)
But....... every single bloody weekend, he makes nice comments about how I too could have a break at the weekend if I did the housey stuff during the week.
So what the crappity feck does he think I do all week? Sit on my arse and MN all day? (ahem)
Has he not noticed that the house is reasonably tidy because I do this stuff every single day?
Does he think his and the dc uniform is going to wash itself?
I am genuinely happy to do it, I'm just a little pissed at the fact that he clearly thinks I don't do anything during the week and use the weekend to catch up.

So, WIBU to leave the washing, the dishwasher, the hoovering, the dog walking, sorting the dc packed lunches, and every other thing I do (I would still look after the baby) for a couple of days, so he can see that I'm not just having cups of tea and watching Jeremy Kyle?

Again, I am more than happy in the role I play at home. Dh is not lazy. I just want him to realise that I am busy during the week too.

Have you got a laundry day? Mine is Friday to Saturday morning. Friday morning all beds are stripped and washed,put in dryer,then I wash the babies stuff,then put them in the dryer and put bedding back on beds. Then its mine and dh clothes,then kids clothes,then any whites and i take the whites out on Saturday morning and its done. Older kids fold and put away their clothes,dh does his,I do mine and the babies. Then I throw the hoover around and thats it. Weekend free.

Yes toys, dirty plates, lunch things etc.

Who are these people who don't need to do any housework at the weekend? Do you just not see mess? We have one DS and no dog, and we don't do any hoovering at the weekend, but there is cooking, cleaning up after every meal (toddler, messy eater), tidying away toys etc. It's not a full day's work, but it's not trivial and if you ignored it for two full days it would be a bit grim, frankly. I don't even want to think what it would be like with three more DC and a dog.

DH is a SAHD and does the laundry, incidentally. He gets most of it done during the week, but we've got limited drying space, so often the odd load does need to be washed and dried at the weekend. I wouldn't dream of making digs about how if he used his time better it could all be done in the week.

bekspolo, I didn't read the OP as saying she was spending all day, every day doing housework - just that there was a lot of it and it wasn't practical politics to ignore it all over the weekend.

How old are the kids? Washing up doesn't count, does it? That just needs to be done and everyone can muck in and help. Can't the kids put the toys away when they have finished playing with them?

I just ignore it at the weekends really and do it on Monday, you don't get a medal for doing housework, it doesn't need to be done.

I'm baffled. The weekend here is just like any other day, really, except we don't have to balance normal household chores with the school run and appointments. Still have to do washing up, walking the dog, kids up and dressed, fed, general cleaning done, cooking, washing up again, tidying up at the end of the day, hoovering, laundry (especially if it's a nice sunny day!! which it's not today...) ... it all needs to be done each day. But DH helps with most of it, so it's not a huge issue. I certainly wouldn't want to think how our home would look if we didn't do any of it over the weekend!!

Every day is laundry day! My lot are real mucksters!

I probably could organise my time better, but during school hours I have a demanding toddler around.

At the weekend, life still goes on. I don't do cleaning bathrooms or dusting, just things like keeping on top of the dishwasher, hoovering (two moulting dogs in a tiny house) and general low grade tidying.

I think some people make life very hard for themselves

If we're in, I prefer to potter about and get the bare minimum done, so I don't spend Monday to Wednesday trying to catch up whilst toddler wrangling at the same time

But I think this is why your DH makes the comments about "how I too could have a break at the weekend if I did the housey stuff during the week"

You are taking that comment to mean he thinks you do everything at the weekend and nothing during the week. I would take it to mean he wants you to stop "pottering about" about weekends and do those jobs during the week.

Sorry x posted OP - would it really hurt to miss a day of hoovering?

Well, nothing needs to be done ever in one sense - we could all wear dirty clothes and live in a pit. DH and I prefer clean clothes and a house we can bear being in, and we both muck in at the weekend with everything that needs doing. I assume OP feels the same, but instead of mucking in with the work her DH gives her helpful hints about time management - I wouldn't be terribly impressed.

I don't have a dishwasher so after each meal,we wash up in the sink and put away. 10 mins. I use a mess mat so I just slide whatever is on it into the bin,then wash it over. 5 mins.
The toys do be everywhere but in the evening they go back into the box under the stairs.

I don't live in a pit - my house is really tidy, I just get it done in the week.

QuickLookBusy, why should the OP play catch-up at the beginning of every week with mountains of laundry, tidying and washing up, just because her DH would prefer her not to? If he doesn't want her doing it at the weekend, he could do some of it and then it would take less time.

BananasInBloomers, so you're saying that you do do stuff at the weekend, just not much of it (and there must be some cooking involved too). OP has moulting dogs and a small house - in her shoes I'd be hoovering every day too. Knowing how much laundry we generate I don't find it at all implausible that she has some to do at weekends with twice as many people in the house. I'm not sure why she's getting a hard time here (especially since she's not even suggesting that her DH should do any of it, just that he shouldn't complain about her doing it).

OP, go away for a weekend and do something nice that you want to do. He'll probably change his tune when you come home.

I did generalise a little, apologies OP, but I do wonder what my stay at home mum friends do. Say they a run ragged?? Doing what??

Well I have a one year and a two year old,plus two school going children and we wear clean clothes every day and we dont live in a pit,but I am not going to martyr myself 7 days a week.
I do all cleaning (like cleaning bathrooms,clearing out presses,deep hoovering,dusting etc) during the week.
Dust is loyal and will always be there for you.

Quicklookbusy - the pottering about is the day to day stuff that needs to be done, like a couple of other posters said - dishwashery toy picking up stuff, and yes the dc help, but rousing them can sometimes be more work than doing it myself.

I could leave the hoovering, but my house then feels like a stinky pit of despair.

valiumredhead, how many children do you have, and how old are they? When DH and I were childless (happy days), all the housework got done in the week even with both of us working full-time, and the house stayed clean and tidy at the weekend. No longer: DS generates a quite astonishing amount of mess for one so small.

To me the OP's dh is saying have a break and don't feel she has to run around doing the house work all weekend. Perhaps he sees her doing above and beyond the call of duty so to speak.

Valium - I am so jealous that you can tidy during the week and it stays tidy!

I have already said that I think the H should help. As I've said, I don't work and DD is a teenager so I don't have little ones to tidy up after and my DH still does lots at the weekend.

It takes a couple of minutes to do some wash up etc. Cooking has to be done or we dont eat lol,hardly a major chore really.
I have four children,a smallish house and a hairy dog. Except my dh works at weekends,we seem quite similar in those terms.

Ah, I see what you mean Valium. I think I've given the impression that I am some domestic goddess who stands guard waiting for dust to settle :o the reality is a long, long way from that!
I don't do above and beyond what is necessary!
I'm not running myself ragged doing housework all weekend, just doing the odd job as it presents itself. Dh could do it, but I'm happy to do it and let him spend a bit more time with the dc.

I hoover once a year whether the carpets need it or not.

Instead of thinking your DH means "do it all in the week, how inefficient", how about wondering if he'd actually just like your company over the weekend? It might simply be that he wants to spend some time with you, and if you're constantly washing up/hoovering/whatever, then he can't - and he hardly wants to seem ungrateful by saying you shouldn't do it. You'd have a better idea what he meant if you asked him rather than MN, though...