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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to know where all the other tantrumming toddlers are?

60 replies

Magneto · 22/04/2012 12:15

Because I feel like I am the only one to have one.

No matter where I take ds, eventually he will tantrum. He's tired, wants to walk, wants a carry, wants some food, not that food, doesn't want to get in the pram, wants a drink, doesn't want a drink, doesn't want to go in the sling, doesn't want to walk, wants to go over there, doesn't want to go that way.... On and on and on.

I can take him to the park, to soft play, to the supermarket or in the garden. It doesn't matter. He screams louder than any other child I've ever heard. He throws himself on the floor, bangs his head on things.

And all the while every other child for miles around is perfectly well behaved.

It's not fair.

OP posts:
tinkertitonk · 22/04/2012 14:36

Bribery Positive reinforcement.

mcl4 · 22/04/2012 14:45

I swear that my dd has had tantrums from the age of 7 months!! I hardly left the house for the first year and half because she used to scream, cry and make herself sick in public, while everyone looked on and tutted at me. Now she is 3 and her tantrums have progressed to biting, kicking and head butting me... nice! I am dreading her starting nursery in September...

GruffVoiceDownTheChimney · 22/04/2012 14:55

I have one! Dd1 is awful, tantrums about 3 times a day - full on sobbing, screaming, flailing, kicking etc etc. Usually because of something imperceptible to anyone else. She's a dream for the childminder & preschool - saves all the physical violence for lucky me!!

whoputmeincharge · 22/04/2012 16:15

There's an almighty noise coming from right under me at the moment. DS(2) is under the sofa taking great exception to his musical saxophone playing a jaunty tune ... but keeps on pressing those buttons regardless.

So it goes silence, start of tune, huge tantrum, song stops, stunned silence, press button and repeat in continuous loop. I am feeling pretty relaxed at about it all as I have spied my get out ... we have a daddy-long-legs dancing around our ceiling.

Whilst he's quick to tantrum, if there's a bug about he'll be instantly distracted. I have been known to point at a piece of mud and shout "is it a bug?" in the diary aisle, dropping to the floor in an attempt too keep it under control

Original poster
Magneto · 22/04/2012 16:24

whoputmeincharge I do that too! Except for ds it's cats. I just have to randomly shout "Where's the cat?" in a really excited voice and he starts looking for one. This only works for minor whinging though.

I have so far had a peaceful two hours Shock because I set up the water play table in the kitchen, covered the floor in towels and stuck ds in his swimming kit and let him get on with it. I was going to add some bubble bath but he keeps drinking the water so I decided against that.

He has been pouring water from one side of the table to the other almost constantly, although he has been steadily introducing various (plastic) farm animals to the "pool" too. The cat is trying not to get noticed.

I don't care about the mess. He has been quiet and I managed to get dinner on without him trying to run away with all the knives from the drawer help.

OP posts:
revolutionconfirmed · 22/04/2012 16:27

I've got two (if you count my almost four year old). They never want to do anything and constantly huff and puff about the things they did want to do but now don't and argh.

I love them with all my heart but it's days like today I want to lock them.in the cupboard under the stairs. It didn't do Harry Potter much harm.

TheUnsinkableTitanic · 22/04/2012 16:29

it definitely is about keeping them occupied....

good luck with eating dinner :)

or is that just my house!

DonInKillerHeels · 22/04/2012 16:34

22 months (nearly) and he has absolutely back-straining octopus-limbed meltdowns when we try to put him in his pram if he isn't ready to leave wherever we are yet. It often takes two to restrain him, though I have now developed a very nifty knee clamp technique that works to keep him at least in proximity of a seating position in said pram while I get the straps done up.

I'm pretty sure all the other people around us think we're killing him.

Once in, he's fine.

But he's not 2 yet.....

mrsXsweet · 22/04/2012 17:14

I have one too! Sharing toys is a major flash point at the moment and I hate the thought of other people judging me for not being harsh enough/ being too harsh. This parenting malarkey is fraught with difficulty.

BarredfromhavingStella · 22/04/2012 17:29

I have a 2 year old diva & in true diva style NOTHING suits her & EVERYTHING is a major drama, so no you are most definitely not alone.

steben · 22/04/2012 17:33

YOU ARE NOT ALONE. And I share your pain - DD has spectacular strops out and about and whenever it happens I am surrounded by a sea of perfectly behaved toddlers whose smug mothers look on in horror as my DD throws herself to ground and refuses to move....

5Foot5 · 22/04/2012 17:38

"Ds is only 20 months so I am bracing myself for a few more years of this."

Ah yes! I think DD was 22 months when she had such a spectacular strop we were asked to get of a plane. Flight delayed for about one hour but we weren't told that until we had got in and taken our seats. The cabin crew asked for the steps to be brought back to the plane and it was "suggested" I might like to get off and walk around to calm her down. In the end they let me back in to a bit of the terminal until just before the plane was ready to go then we were let back on board. She continued to scream for another half hour and only calmed down when refrehments appeared and I was able to give her a biscuit. How to be the most hated person on a plane....Wink

But this too will pass.

I think the last tantrum I remember her having was just after starting school but it passed very quickly.

Itchywoolyjumper · 22/04/2012 19:34

DS had a toe curling meltdown earlier because I wouldn't let him eat his dinner with a wee plastic trowel.

hermionestranger · 22/04/2012 19:57

You are not alone. Most definitely not! Ds1 was a tantrum thrower and had many, many public meltdowns, bug compared to ds2.......
Ds2 is 16 mo and has the art of tantrum down pat!

Confused
Dancergirl · 22/04/2012 20:01

No you're not alone.

And I'll make you feel better:

I have a (regular) tantrumming 5 year old who goes to school! I feel I'm the only one to have one this age.

People who say their child has never had a tantrum are either
a) lying
b) telling the truth but will have massive problems later on

BagofHolly · 22/04/2012 20:28

Ugh ugh ugh. I have three tantrumming pesticles and divide and conquer is the only way. If I take all 3 out together I never establish eye contact with other people in case I see judgement or worse, sympathy!

nimbs · 22/04/2012 21:12

Dancergirl - I have a tantrumming 5 yr old too - she's a delight really - now the 3 yr olds (dt's) are also at it - my house is a haven of peace Hmm

kiwimumof2boys · 23/04/2012 03:58

Supermarket this morning. DS wanted to hold all the bread, rather than put it in the trolley.

TheSkiingGardener · 23/04/2012 06:37

Got one here too! 22 months of petulance in a tiny bundle.

Gah. It WILL pass, please say so!

RalphGnu · 23/04/2012 08:11

Here's one.

All I did was go to make a coffee and in my absence something has deeply offended him. I made the fatal mistake of asking him what the matter was and nearly lost an eye for it. His face is a fascinating shade of purple.

I was a tantrum thrower too. My poor mother used to have to go into the back garden so the neighbours would know I wasn't being horrifically murdered.

GavisconJunkie · 23/04/2012 08:31

Like worra & other posters my dd reserves her most special shrieking tantrums for I doors & acts lime a total angel when around others. Prompting the 'you're so lucky' comments & lots of disapproval when I moan about her bad behaviour, people think I'm overly strict, because how could this sweet child behave badly? ALL DAY EVERY DAY!!!!!

You are not alone.'

madmouse · 23/04/2012 08:44

If you really want looks of disapproval threaten to leave a disabled 3 year old behind in a shopping centre if he doesn't stop his meltdown over which direction we're walking in.

She isn't really going to leave that poor little boy...Shock Grin

Woodlands · 23/04/2012 08:47

5foot5 don't say that... am flying in three weeks time (four hours on Ryanair, what were we THINKING?!) with 21-month-old DS. I am absolutely dreading it. He isn't the kind of child who can be distracted with a colouring book and crayons. If he wants to get down and run around but is not allowed then all hell breaks loose... AM planning on taking plenty of snacks (and thank goodness, I'm still breastfeeding so that is generally a good last resort to head off a tantrum).

madmouse · 23/04/2012 08:49

Woodlands consider creating a special little bag with small/cheap tightly wrapped presents to be opened at regular intervals as long as toddler behaves.

GavisconJunkie · 23/04/2012 09:19

Oodlands we had 3 hr flight when dd was 21 months & I had JUST stopped bf I lurked some great advice on here. 1 was the tightly wrapped gifts, worked like a charm! I recommend a set of things so there's the incentive to 'collect'. 2, s acks, the fiddlier the better, ie raisins, take longer to eat. 3, we didn't think the colouring would work, but that tray table is weirdly appealing & it did!

Finally and we only used this once on the way home, use third party threats (we avoid this normally, but needs must!) ie if you don't stop that the (orange faced) lady will tell you off.

We had compliments on dd's behaviour (to which we grimaced & thanked),you'll be fine. At least you can stick a boob in! I'd stopped because I was 12 weeks Pg and feeling very sick. Good luck.