to ask you to guess whether dh or I answered this 'facts of life' question in this way and to ask your opinion on these two appraoches?

[lecce]

I promise I will reveal who said it but want to guage the replies first - not because I intend to lie, but to see what the reception will be before giving my reasons- promise .

So, parent 1 was alone bathing the dc when ds1 (5, just) suddenly noticed his testicles and asked what they were:

Parent 1: They're called testicles.
Ds1: What are they for?
Parent 1: (taken aback, not expecting this) They have a special seed in them for when you want to make a baby.
Ds1: (giggles, thinks a bit) How will they get in (pause, thinks, giggles)...her?
Parent 1: You remember we talked about how babies get in their mummies' tummies and we talked about the special cuddle mummies and daddies have?
Ds1: Yes. (but doesn't really seem sure- still giggly, not unhappy.)

He then changed the subject.

Parent 1 recounted all this to parent 2 (with all the details included above about reactions etc) and Parent 2 said they would simply have said testicles were 'part of what makes you a man,' and left it at that.

Parent 2 is not angry or upset about it but just feels it was too much information.

So who was who and who is BU .

You can reassure him that this is mumsnet. If you had in fact been wrong, you would have had your arse toasted

I would give the same explanation as you op .

:o @ "part of what makes you a man"

Another part of what makes you identifiable as a man is coming out with that :o

I would have gone with answer 1.

DH was similarly bemused when I explained to DD1 that he put his seed inside me to make the baby I'm carrying. Then I had to tell her that he put it there with his penis.

I thought it was important, because during the conversation that led up to this revelation I realised that she thought I made babies in my tummy by myself and didn't know Daddy had anything to do with it. :)

Too young! I don't know what I would have said but not that much - why does a 5 year old need to know about having babies.

"why does a 5 year old need to know about having babies."

Why does a 5 year old need to know about anything?

Because they are curious? Because it's interesting? Because it helps them to understand how the world works?

timetochangeagain He already knows about that because he asked directly a few months ago how babies get in their mummies' tummies. You can't refuse to answer, can you?

I do agree with the poster who didn't like the 'special cuddle' - it is unhelpfully coy, isn't it? Next time he brings the subject up I will be more honest.

Because answering casually like this is much better than the embarrassing sit down chat at 14!

I get that - but why mummy and daddy cuddles. Not all babies have a mummy and daddy for a start.

My dc is fascinated by who came out of whose tummy - but not how the baby got there - but then I deliberately keep mine "young". They have plenty of time to learn about that (and I don't mean wait til 14).

timetochangeagain - of course it's not too young. Why on earth is it too young for factual information? Do you lie to them about why they have ears?

Lecce - it was clear you were parent 1. Only parent 2 would have said 'it's what makes you a man' PMSL. Most Dad's think they should be told they were brought by the stalk

Of course he wont go around being nasty in the playground frightening little girls - most of them probably know as much/more than he does anyway :)

He´s only just noticed his testicles at 5?

Er, all babies start with a mummy and a daddy...

diddl Yes, is that bad I think he's been having far too much fun with his penis up until now. Since having two sons I am seeing first-hand just how early the male obsession with 'fiddling' starts! And who knew just how much pulling and twisting those little things could take ?

I don't like the 'special cuddle' much either - but it does seem to be the 'trend' following on from that absolutely bloody awful video the schools use. I prefer the basic facts.

YouAREworthIt - exactly!! By the time they get to the age where some parents feel it's 'appropriate' it's wayyyyyyyyyyy too late!

'I deliberately keep mine young' - well, that will help them in the playground wont it?! Seriously, just tell them the truth as they ask the questions... otherwise they will just believe what other kids tell them.

Not all babies start with a mummy and daddy cuddle, IVF, test tube, surrogacy.

All babies start with a sperm and an egg.

But that's by the by.

I think it's too young - others don't. That's my choice.

At the moment they aren't asking questions. We are focusing on personal boundaries at the moment.

My DS only uses his testicles to make a 'vulva' so he can have what his sister's got and something else

lecce - no it's not bad, many boys don't really think of the testicles and the penis as separate things until about that age - it's not unusual. Yes -they're amazingly - ummm flexible and seemingly not very sensitive when they are small. You have soooo much fun to come PMSL truely the questions just get funnier & funnier (and harder to answer!!). Oh... and trust me, little girls are just as bad... & in a way it's worse because they can actually lose things 'up there'

Okay, splitting hairs. There is no sperm or egg without a dad or mum and you know I meant that.

Nagoo

I think the OP did exactly right BTW. I plan to drip feed the info to mine, as and when he asks. I don't see how knowing the facts makes them 'old' if it's presented in a child-friendly way.

No, it´s not bad-I remember how obsessed they are with themselves at that age though!

"My DS only uses his testicles to make a 'vulva' so he can have what his sister's got and something else"

I really hope this baby is a boy. I really want to see a vulva made out of testicles. :o

DS was a month short of his third birthday when he demanded to know how he got in my tummy and did I eat him?

He was satisfied with "No, you grew there" but I shall be copying your conversation when he wants to know what made him grow there (bet that conversation is going to be sooner than I expected too).

I just doubted myself there for a moment and thought what if ds turns into a horrid little boy in a playground making girls cry telling them stuff like this because I've given him too much info

What makes you think that...

A) 'Girls' might not already know

B) They might cry about it

C) Why just girls?

Mind you you don't want to see dd trying to prove she has a willy like DS too