Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get annoyed about male attention??

86 replies

Scowlett · 21/04/2012 13:01

I wore a tight top under a cardi yesterday, and was really riled by men looking at my breasts rather than my face.

I know we all clock the overall picture but I still wanted to smack 'em.

OP posts:
Original poster
Scowlett · 21/04/2012 14:30

fluff...I didn't say I was gorgeous or that I thought I was...I only said that I was grieving, suffering from anxiety and didn't understand why a 'safe' man at work was coming on a bit. I didn't do anything else. It comes across as being really bitchy though so I would appreciate it if you explained why you said that.

OP posts:
Latara · 21/04/2012 14:35

Some men stare at women's chests.. some women stare at men's bums.. It's called 'being human' i think?!

fluffiphlox · 21/04/2012 14:41

I can't find your post about your mentor at the moment, I hadn't picked up about your bereavement. It's awful to lose someone.
I think, therefore, that maybe you would be better advised asking for help about that than worry about men looking at your knockers, (or mentors 'coming on a bit'), which is annoying but which can be dealt with by saying "my face is up here".

wolvesdidit · 21/04/2012 14:42

Just wait till you get ignored all the time like sad fat wrinkly old me...(it's my 41st birthday today)

Original poster
Scowlett · 21/04/2012 14:43

Sparkling, well...just do what makes you happy!!

Latara yes...it's the reason why we procreate...I'm not used to it though and found it strange. At work. I was hardly showing anything anyway, this threadt wasn't a vanity mission, I am sure many more women get this on a daily basis and I was curious to hear what they thought. Right, biology bucks up

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 21/04/2012 14:46

Why on earth are people having a go here at the OP on account of a thread she started in Relationships?

LadyBeagleEyes · 21/04/2012 14:48

Eh? Confused

Original poster
Scowlett · 21/04/2012 14:50

sooty, thank you, I had thought this forum was a nice place but it's gone a bit weird?? I didn't even think I had said anything too inflammatory, but find it odd that people posting here seem to have looked up everything and are being a bit bitchy and judgemental, to be frank

OP posts:
Teeb · 21/04/2012 14:51

Do you work at the playboy mansion or something? I think you should be having a strong word with someone in HR that senior management are behaving inappropriately and you feel very uncomfortable. As well as the men in the office offending you by staring at your chest. If you have an issue you should raise it if you feel too weak or vulnerable to speak up a bit and tell them it's not on yourself.

sensuallettuce · 21/04/2012 14:52

I have large breasts on a relatively small body. I grew my breasts when I was about 14 so have had this for a long time. When I was younger it used to embarrass me - now I couldn't care less I just smile. My breasts have fed three children and given many men a lot of pleasure I am proud of them and if it gives someone in the street 30 seconds pleasure by having a gawp then go ahead - they aren't hurting me - just don't strike up a conversation with them - that does bug me.

There was a man in the queue in front of me at the post office today in unfeasibly tight cycling shorts and he caught me checking him out Blush I just smiled coyly Blush Blush.

Men and women are supposed to attract each other aren't they?

HecateTrivia · 21/04/2012 14:53

I'm afraid I have to disagree. A woman should be able to go out wearing whatever she wants without being made to feel like a piece of meat.

The solution is not to wear a hessian sack with holes in for your head and arms, but for men to stop perving at women.

Everyone looks, but there's looking and looking. 'looking' to the extent that someone feels uncomfortable or threatened is wrong and it's wrong to put that onto the woman as though it's her fault for not wearing something that doesn't make men want to look.

ilovesooty · 21/04/2012 14:55

FWIW I thought you got unjustifiably harsh treatment on your original thread, Scowlett It seemed fairly clear to me that you were struggling emotionally and your confusion was coming over in your posts. To bring the issue over into an unrelated thread on a different forum isn't pleasant behaviour at all, IMO.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 21/04/2012 14:55

IMO whatever anyone has posted before should have no bearing on the current thread they start unless they are referring to it. or are suspected troll

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 21/04/2012 14:57

just say ' they won't answer you y'know, so ask me'

Original poster
Scowlett · 21/04/2012 15:00

I'm not a troll and don't understand why people might think I was. Plenty of people have affairs, I didn't, and I posted about the odd situation. It's strange that for a women's forum this is so unsupportive, it has put me off talking about things here. Which is a shame because we're all in the same boat. I can't even start a light hearted thread without getting accused of being Samantha Brick.

OP posts:
Latara · 21/04/2012 15:00

Re: men at work acting inappropriately: i find the Death Stare + 'do you mind? You are behaving in an inappropriate manner. I expected better from you. Make sure it doesn't happen again..' usually works for me. If they deny it, or get more crude then just repeat until they get bored.
Or speak to your line manager.

fluffiphlox · 21/04/2012 15:01

Look I'm not a troll, Eccles I missed the bit about the OP being bereaved and I should have made allowances. Sorry to one and all.

Sparklingbrook · 21/04/2012 15:01

I thought that. I didn't think you were allowed to drag facts from one thread to another?

BarredfromhavingStella · 21/04/2012 15:01

I'd be more concerned if I'd made the effort to put on a tight top & nobody noticed :o

Original poster
Scowlett · 21/04/2012 15:03

Oh Stella, thank you for lightening it. I would stare at your tits if I met you :)

OP posts:
Helltotheno · 21/04/2012 15:06

and it's wrong to put that onto the woman
I see what you mean by this but the other side of it is work clothes should be more professional than attention-grabbing and I don't want my focus at work to be distracted by a massive amount of cleavage or a skirt up to someone's minnie or a man wearing a shirt open to his navel etc.

Aside from that, all are welcome to get an eyeful of my norks Grin

OP are you having issues generally in work?

wolvesdidit · 21/04/2012 15:09

Years ago I worked for Royal Mail (behind the scenes, never with the public) and I got into trouble for wearing vest tops and revealing too much cleavage. It was very embarrassing as everyone knew about it and I knew my boobs were much more looked at as a result of the warning from management. Blush

TiredTits · 21/04/2012 15:10

Happy birthday Wolve

Those that have mentioned op's other threads are out of order.
But they know that already....

HecateTrivia · 21/04/2012 15:12

I agree with you that work clothes should be professional. A textured linen fitted top worn under a cardigan, she said it was.

Doesn't sound like fetish wear to me! Grin

Having men leer at you because you aren't wearing a loose fitting poloneck and an ankle length skirt is not on. They should be professional. Don't you think?

Original poster
Scowlett · 21/04/2012 15:13

Hell, I get extreme anxiety at present, I had to walk out of a conference recently. It will be ok though I will get back on track.

With the attention, no I'm not used to that and it does upset me. Attention seeking has never been part of my personality, I usually like to observe. It bothered me recently that I thought I 'liked' the recent attention and that's why I posted, I hadn't realised it might come over as 'me me me I'm so attractive' as that's not how I think

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread