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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think it's ok for children to go to bed a bit later on holiday?

30 replies

lostboysfallin · 21/04/2012 02:06

no harm done, no-one getting tired or grumpy, everyone happy and can get up a bit later the next day.

OP posts:

AgentZigzag · 21/04/2012 02:09

Yeah, works for us.

Any reason for asking?

tartyflette · 21/04/2012 02:14

Not unreasonable at all, I would think this is quite normal.

MmeBucket · 21/04/2012 02:14

There's no harm in it, and I do it, but it doesn't quite work that way for us, and mine always end up waking up at the same time they always do and are a bit grumpy.

Original poster

lostboysfallin · 21/04/2012 02:19

because dh keeps having a dig at how late DS went to bed one night on holiday.
Dh wasn't even there to deal with any issues
It was 10pm, so 9pm UK time.
His usual bedtime is 8/830 anyway.
And it was just because the restaurant was really slow.
Hes only 4.5, but I think I should be trusted to judge what time is ok for him

OP posts:

MmeBucket · 21/04/2012 02:26

If you have to constantly worry on your holiday about what time your DCs get to bed, you're kind of missing the point of being on holiday, aren't you?

AgentZigzag · 21/04/2012 02:27

Bit of a strange thing to keep going on about.

Any idea why he might be doing that, is he a stickler for routine or something?

Or is it more telling that he doesn't think you had the authority to say it was alright? Did he expect you to ring him and ask permission??

PinkFondantFancy · 21/04/2012 02:33

I'm not sure why it's relevant what the UK time is, as surely you're living on local time?? It's weird he's going on about it, as if the restaurant's really slow there's not a lot you can do about it. FWIW it sounds pretty late to me but I guess it all depends whether your DS can adjust what time he wakes up to compensate.

ButteryBiscuitBase · 21/04/2012 04:55

Think your DH needs loosen up a bit. Its a HOLIDAY! By bro in law is like this and it drives rest of us lot mad. I always feel sorry for my sis and niece as my sis is always tense and my niece either misses out on stuff the other kids are doing or pays the price with snide comments forever more. What does your DH think is so bad that has come of this one late night?

Thumbwitch · 21/04/2012 04:59

Blimey. I think it's fine, so long as they get enough sleep! And since you're on holiday presumably the mornings are a little more relaxed as well, so no reason in the world to fret about a shift of an hour for a night or so!

Perhaps your DH just resents the fact that he wasn't there as well and is taking it out on you in this way? Or perhaps he's just a control freak?

Rosa · 21/04/2012 05:24

We slowly move them later on purpose then after a week the mornings become later and if its hot they have a siesta as well.......

AThingInYourLife · 21/04/2012 06:06

YANBU, although I have a 4 year old and she would be a basketcase if I let her stay up until 10.

About 8.30 is her holiday limit.

ErikNorseman · 21/04/2012 06:38

YANBU
DS goes to bed around 9 on holiday with the ILs because that's when all the kids start going to bed. He wakes up around 8.30. Win!

Is your DH always this micro-managing of you? Of course you can be trusted to decide when your DS goes to bed

gazzalw · 21/04/2012 07:11

DS is fine staying up late but DD, after some bad experiences of giving her an inch on bedtimes, is a total grump. So as much as is possible and unless it's unavoidable, we do try to keep her in her routines....just makes for a more harmonious lifestyle. She is definitely a gremlin in her spare time!

sunnydelight · 21/04/2012 07:29

YANBU. We're still on Easter holiday here (Oz) and for me not having to worry about bedtimes is one of the nice things about school holidays. I haven't managed my usual "ease them back in gently" though so they'll be in for a shock come Tuesday morning.

IsLovingAndGiving · 21/04/2012 07:38

I think that's absolutely fine. I have fairly strict bedtime of 7.30 for ds (4) & 8 pm for dd (8) on school days, but they usually stay up until 9/9.30 at weekends. 4yr old ds stayed up until midnight the last two New Years too and managed it fine (he even had a lie in the next day!). Tell your dh to lighten up!

TroublesomeEx · 21/04/2012 07:41

I think it's fine to let children stay up later on holiday. What's the point of having them if you can't enjoy them!

Having said that, 8 - 8.30 seems quite late for a 4 year old to go to bed at any time to me!

My DD is nearly 6. Her term time bedtime is 7 - 7.30 and her holiday bedtime is 8.00 at the very latest.

That's not because I'm evil, it's because she falls asleep on the sofa otherwise!

changeforthebetter · 21/04/2012 07:47

Blimey! DD stayed up till midnight several times on last holiday. There were shows on and she had lots of fun. We had time after the return to ease her back into the normal7pm bedtime routine - for which I am a stickler.

I am not so lenient at half term but Easter, Christmas and the summer holidays are long enough.

It sounds like he may have thought it should be adult-only time?

PurplePidjin · 21/04/2012 07:52

I'd be a lot more worried about your h feeling it's ok to "keep having a dig"

AThingInYourLife · 21/04/2012 07:54

"Having said that, 8 - 8.30 seems quite late for a 4 year old to go to bed at any time to me!"

Really?

DD1 (4) normally goes to bed at 8pm. She likes to have a bit of little sister-free time after her bath.

English in laws put DCs to bed at 7 religiously, 8ish seems more usual for my Irish family & friends.

scuzy · 21/04/2012 08:01

ds is 3 and his bed time is 8pm but saying that could be 8.30-9pm before he is asleep. up next day at 7am. must be an irish thing alright.

bedtimes depends what time they are up.

and ds gets a nap in creche.

jasminerice · 21/04/2012 08:06

Rosa, I like your style!

Thumbwitch · 21/04/2012 08:09

Ha, my DS is 4 and I can't get him to bed before 8.30pm, usually 9. I have tried - but if he goes to sleep before 8:30, he wakes up again half an hour to an hour later and then he's wide awake and doesn't go back to sleep for another 2 or more hours. So he goes to sleep around 9, wakes up around 8am - it works for us.
(not Irish, btw - just the way DS's body clock seems to work!)

Original poster

lostboysfallin · 21/04/2012 09:21

I think it's a control thing, or he just has to have his say. Or maybe a dig at my parents who are generally very laid back about this. But surely that's the fun of gps!!
And probably some resentment because he wasn't there and we were having fun
It's really stupid because he doesn't have that much input into bedtime at home!

It's part of a bigger picture, I just wanted to see if mn thought it was that big a deal.

Re 8pm bedtime, by the time we get home from nursery, DS winds
down, and bathtime and books, it can't really be Any earlier.
And I don't really need it to be, he gets up about 7, seems plenty of sleep for him. Works for us.

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 21/04/2012 09:30

If he wasnt there anyway, he really needs to stfu and find something that is actually worth moaning about if he feels the need to behave like a twat..

EmilyPollifaxInnocentTourist · 21/04/2012 09:35

I think your husband is being really unkind here.

Why on earth is he still having little digs about it? Hardly the behaviour of an adult, is it?

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