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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

aibu to want to ask for a c-section with my 3rd baby? :(

34 replies

M0naLisa · 20/04/2012 22:55

I'm 7 weeks pregnant and first midwife appt is in a months time. I'm seriously considering asking about opting for a c-section as I am absolutley petrified of giving birth again. This was a reason for me to not have no more babies after DS2. But we discussed a 3rd and I put the thought of childbirth behind me, thinking i coukd get over the scared thoughts. But now im pregnant I am absolutley shitting myself with the thought of going through painful birth again.

My 1st wad horrendous he got stuck, rushed to theatre for prep for csection but he was born by ventouse instead. Lost a lot of blood.

My 2nd was painful extremeley and I passed out 6 times I kept saying I'd passed out when coming round but midwives were saying i was fine. I know i passed out iv passed out numerous times before and I did in labour. It took 2hrs to stitch me up and I hated evrry. minute of it.

I know il come across as too posh to push but I dhske anf cry at the thought of going through it all again. I am going to the same hospital again for 3rd baby as I hsd with ds2.
I just feel like I don't know what to do, dont want epidural. As they scare me.

So wibu to ask/request one at my midwife appt.
I haf pnd severely sfter ds2 and I don't want my fears to set it off again. I just dont know what to do for the bedt:(

OP posts:

Original poster

M0naLisa · 20/04/2012 22:57

Sorry for mistakes om on my phone. that up there should say I shake and cry at the thought.

OP posts:

picnicbasketcase · 20/04/2012 22:57

I don't think you sound like you're being 'too posh to push', you've had bad experiences with your previous births. Seems a sound reason to ask for a CS to me.

Moominsarescary · 20/04/2012 22:57

But you will need a spinal for a csection, you should def talk to your mw about your worries

TidyDancer · 20/04/2012 22:58

I would definitely ask in those circumstances. Sounds like you have a pretty good reason for feeling like you do.

Sorry you've had bad experiences. :(

hiddenhome · 20/04/2012 23:00

If you're scared of an epidural, then you'll still need a spinal anaesthetic for the section and they're inserted in the same way that epidurals are. Sections aren't an easy option. It takes around a year to fully recover from having one. It's major surgery.

AgentZigzag · 20/04/2012 23:01

You don't come across as too posh to push at all, you sound scared, and with genuine reason

I would ask them, why not?

If the consultant doesn't think it's a good idea when it comes to it I'm sure they'd say.

But wouldn't you have to have an epidural if you had a c-sect anyway? It's the thing in your back isn't it?

I've had two c-sects and they were postitive experiences for me, but whichever way your baby gets out there are going to be some risks and uncomfortableness attached to it, it's just that for you a c-sect might be the less of the evils.

Original poster

M0naLisa · 20/04/2012 23:02

That's what scares me too the recovery my mum had sections woth me and sister and she says they are awful. I just dont know if i can go through a birth again. :( its my failt for getting pregnant again bit thought i could push thoughts to back of my head but I dont think I can.

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TreacleSoda · 20/04/2012 23:03

I can see why you want one, and I think if you go into it with your eyes open, then fair enough. But I would just say that a C-section can also be traumatic and painful. I had two emcs (one a proper running up the corridor emergency with doctors everywhere after a long labour, and one an emergency in that it was a failed induction so not planned in advance) and ironically the recovery from the second one was much more painful. The only pain relief offered was paracetamol, with occasional small doses of codeine when I begged for more. If you had that sort of major surgery for anything other than childbirth, you'd be offered morphine or something.

AgentZigzag · 20/04/2012 23:03

'Sections aren't an easy option. It takes around a year to fully recover from having one.'

You've written that as fact hh, they're not the same for everyone.

chandellina · 20/04/2012 23:07

my first labour/birth was an absolute nightmare. second time around i had an elective c section and it was WONDERFUL. Recovery was fine, there are lots of recovery threads out there and some people have bad experiences but it seems to me nearly everyone who has had both would recommend a c section if they were to do it again. Mine was only 4 months ago and I'm in better shape with ab muscles, etc. than I was before the birth.

Original poster

M0naLisa · 20/04/2012 23:09

The c-section option does scare me. I dont want an epidural the thought of giving birth with no control over my body what so ever scares me even more. At least with child birth you know when to push rather than relying on midwives and a machine. My sister says 'oh have an epidural its easier' but she was bedridden for 12 hours as she couldnt move her legs, she couldnt walk, i dont want that. I know with a c section id be bedridden too but i wont have gone through child birth if you know what i mean?

I just feel like my head is mashed with what to do. DH says i've done it twice before i can do it again. Yeah i've done it before and it was fucking horrendous and i hated ever bloody minute of it. But then as soon as baby was born the pain was gone apart from the cuts, grazes and stitches.

I physically get emotional, shakey and cry at the thought of going through it again. :(

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hiddenhome · 20/04/2012 23:10

No, it does take about a year for everything to return to normal. This is the same for all major abdominal surgery. I'm a nurse, this is how long it takes regardless of how well you feel, a major breach has been made on your body and that takes time to heal and for things to return to normal and for you to regain your strength.

PinkSpottyBag · 20/04/2012 23:10

I have had 3 elective sections and it most certainly did not take a year to recover I was up and about within 4 hours, had a shower unaided the next morning and was driving after 10 days with no.3 and after 12 days with no.2 and 14 days with no.1 Some people like HH, clearly like to trot out the major surgery line which is really quite dull, it will depend on the individual as with most things. My 3 were very positive experiences that I requested

Original poster

M0naLisa · 20/04/2012 23:11

The hospital was wonderful with my birth and i wasnt left alone but all i can remember of my DS2s birth was passing out, waking up seeing the midwife still between my legs and me saying 'oh for fucks sake not again' - when another contraction came!!

I screamed the hospital down i feel for the poor women who were sat in other delivery rooms waiting for their contractions to start with me screaming in the next room lol

OP posts:

kelpie6333 · 20/04/2012 23:11

Someone said to me early on that no one will give you a medal for childbirth so why not make it as comfortable (emotionally and physically) as possible? I never thought I was "too posh to push" having wanted a drug-free water birth the first time around but I have had 2 c-sections (one emergency, one elective) and I had great experiences with both so I am a great fan of c-sections. I had no issues with the epidurals. Do your research, know your options but do what you feel best for you. It is your body.

TreacleSoda · 20/04/2012 23:18

I'm the opposite of chandellina, as everyone I know who has had both has said that if they had the choice again they would go with the vaginal birth as they recovered more quickly. It just proves how the experience is so different for different people, just like vaginal births, I suppose - some people find them empowering and positive, and some people find them to be so traumatic that it takes years to recover.

I can't honestly say which is easier, as I have never had a successful vaginal birth, but I suppose I just wanted to be the voice of caution - my first C section was almost 6 years ago, and I have had constant abdominal pain since I had it. My other one was six months ago, and my wound hasn't healed yet. So, all in all, I personally wouldn't recommend a c-section, but on the other hand, if I was in the OPs position, I think I would want one too. And if she wants one, knowing all the pros and cons, then I think she should be allowed one.

rainbow2000 · 20/04/2012 23:18

Have to say on my 5th baby i had a c-section.My God it was the worst thing ever,even now 10 months on i dont feel the same.It was so much worse to me than a vaginal birth ,it took me so long to recover.Not completeley there yet.
If i was to give advice,think long and hard as it was so much sorer and to me more mentally draining.
Think more mental than physical thats how it was for me.

Clytaemnestra · 20/04/2012 23:21

OK. Some c-sections are awful and hard to recover from, particularly emcs. But not all of them. For example my elcs was textbook easy, a positive experience throughout and, while internally I may not have been entirely healed for a year I certainly wasn't aware of it. It took me about three weeks to feel back to normal and then by the 6 week mark the only reminder that I'd had surgery at all was a slighly itchy scar.

Spinal blocks are different from epidurals, in that it's a single injection (in an anesthetised area). They don't leave a drip in to "top up", it's a one shot deal. I've had three lots of major surgery which have involved a spinal block (one cs and two major hip operations) and had no problems with any of them, no pain with them being administered.

Only you can work out which is the right option for you, but a elcs doesn't have to be scary or disempowering. I'm another one who had a brilliant experience with it. :)

chandellina · 20/04/2012 23:26

yes let's keep in mind there is a big difference between elective and emergency c-sections, both emotionally and physically. I don't think many woman would choose an emergency one again but those who have had elective ones for the most part seem happy with the results. Anecdotal for sure but there have been many many threads on this topic here and elsewhere.

I had to have surgery after my VB to "fix" things so an elective c section where everything went to plan and I have a tiny well-healed incision, well there's no comparison really.

kelpie6333 · 20/04/2012 23:32

Oops, I had a spinal block, not an epidural. Still bliss.

Originalplurker · 20/04/2012 23:34

No yanbu, had mine in notes from 8 weeks. Physical relief and emotional relief when given date.

Original poster

M0naLisa · 20/04/2012 23:36

I feel i should ask for an ELCS but then i feel that i fear i wont have achieved another milestone and that is giving birth to another baby. I fear i wouldnt bond with baby iykwim? Same as with the Epidural, i just feel that if i dont feel the pain i wont bond with baby as much as i have bonded with my other two DC. I just really do not know what is best. I suppose i could tell the midwife of my fears and each time i visit her express my concerns and see if my fears get put aside nearer the time.

When my waters went with DS1 my thoughts were what is this going to be like....fear of the unknown. But with DS2 my first instant thought was 'oh shit im going to be in immense pain soon and going through it all again' as i knew what i was going to be going through.

With this one im like 'shit shit shit what am i doing, putting myself thorugh it all again'

Do you know when in your head you dont know what you want to do?
Thats how i feel.

OP posts:

rhondajean · 20/04/2012 23:39

Everyone is different it must be remembered!

I had a good experience of an emcs - and a really emergency, transitioning with a foot first 32 weeker when I got to hospital.

The first six hours were dopey but I think I recovered much quicker than from my first vb.

Mona they have excellent painkillers in the labour ward - make full use of them - honestly, as someone else said, there are no medals for it. Take your time and work out what the best thing to happen for you would be.

Good luck - and congratulations! X

AgentZigzag · 20/04/2012 23:39

I definately, definately bonded with both mine, when I was pregnant and straight after the births

I can't compare how the bonding would be with a VB because I've never even had contractions, but the births were both calm, relaxed and positive.

Original poster

M0naLisa · 20/04/2012 23:40

Im seeing my midwife on 21st may after my dating scan when il be 12 weeks. I will then be under the care of the midwives at my local hospital which do do births BUT only births if things are straight forward, its like a home from home birth centre in a hospital iykwim? Its a minor injuries hospital and tbh i dont like the midwives there, i find their attitudes as just another woman whos pregnant whos not having their baby there and they get you in and out as quickly as possible. My main midwife appointments will be at my chosen hospital which is Doncaster Royal, rather than Scunthorpe General. The midwives in my local hospital are working under Scunthorpe and dont seem to ahev the time of day for people who have opted for other hospitals in the area iykwim?! So i feel if i mention it to them they will brush it under the carpet.

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