aibu to want to ask for a c-section with my 3rd baby? :(

[M0naLisa]

I'm 7 weeks pregnant and first midwife appt is in a months time. I'm seriously considering asking about opting for a c-section as I am absolutley petrified of giving birth again. This was a reason for me to not have no more babies after DS2. But we discussed a 3rd and I put the thought of childbirth behind me, thinking i coukd get over the scared thoughts. But now im pregnant I am absolutley shitting myself with the thought of going through painful birth again.

My 1st wad horrendous he got stuck, rushed to theatre for prep for csection but he was born by ventouse instead. Lost a lot of blood.

My 2nd was painful extremeley and I passed out 6 times I kept saying I'd passed out when coming round but midwives were saying i was fine. I know i passed out iv passed out numerous times before and I did in labour. It took 2hrs to stitch me up and I hated evrry. minute of it.

I know il come across as too posh to push but I dhske anf cry at the thought of going through it all again. I am going to the same hospital again for 3rd baby as I hsd with ds2.
I just feel like I don't know what to do, dont want epidural. As they scare me.

So wibu to ask/request one at my midwife appt.
I haf pnd severely sfter ds2 and I don't want my fears to set it off again. I just dont know what to do for the bedt:(

Thanks RhondaJean :)

Agent my mum didnt have contractions so doesnt know to this day what they are like and iv told her they are fucking horrendous towards the end lol

How does pain help you bond? Pain would put me off bonding personally. I always knew I would have an elcs so I may have a skewed perspective on it, but I hear about how much it hurts and my overriding impression is I'll give that a miss thanks.

I can only give you a personal experience but I had no trouble bonding, no trouble establishing breastfeeding (getting DD to stop breastfeeding and let me have a nap was another matter) and an easy recovery.

Its nice to hear so many positive stories of ELCS and it puts me at ease but then i cant think what i want!! :( I feel stuck between a rock and hard place of what to do.

I had two natural births with my ds's, and then an elective c section with my dd, who is now 15months.

The section was totally wonderful. No pain at all (even afterwards,as the scar was numb for months). The recovery was easy (and I'm a wimp).

YANBU. If you want a c section, then it should be your choice.

For those who say that a c section is traumatic to your body, well so is natural birth. There are also just as many things (if not more) things that can go wrong with a natural birth.

Even my GP went for a c section with her 2 dc's, as she had see too many natural births go badly wrong.

My first was an emcs, and so was my second techically but only as I went into labour before the date of my elcs so it was very relaxed and I felt very safe and supported.

It is major surgery so you have to be kind to yourself afterwards and take it easy. But, the pain should be well controlled, I was up and walking the afternoon of my cs's, and showered the following day indep. I didn't have any issues with my scar. I did find that I tired easily but as long as I didn't overdo it I was fine.

OP I don't blame you for considering a cs. Make the an informed choice that's right for you

Am i able to obtain my notes from both my previous births, i feel maybe reading them might put me at ease to see how my mental/health state was at the time of birth etc etc.....would i need to contact my DS1 hospital he was born in to get these and would they send them out to me. Or would my chosen hospital have to request them? I feel reading them may put my mind at ease. I know ive said that already!

Hi OP, good luck with DC3, you have plenty of time to make your choices so speak to a variety of midwives and gather some information.

You are not alone in wanting information and having questions. Your concerns are valid if you have them and you will have a much more enjoyable pregnancy if you can be looking forward to a birth process you have "chosen" (in as much as you can, emergencies happen etc...)

I sympathise - I cried at my GP appointment to book into the midwife system for DC2. Planned pregnancy, very happy, but I suddenly was scared of having to "survive" another birth after various complications with DC1.

I haven't had a C-section but you are entitled to see your previous birth notes. If you have any questions (or just WANT to read them out of interest) I would recommend it. I had two quite rapid and for me, traumatic, natural births and had questions afterwards. Seeing my notes helped me understand my two births more clearly and consider what I might hope for / choose if I tried for a third baby. My hospital has a service run by volunteer midwives where they spend an hour with you talking about past birth experiences, they request your notes and help you understand them. I used the service when DD was 18 months, they are quite used to people having questions not straight away.

Contact the PALS (patient liaison) service at the hospital for advice, they can help you get your notes I believe?

Oh my word, have a section. Don't torture yourself!

It does NOT take a year to recover. WTF? You would have to be seriously unlucky for that to happen.

In the interests of balance, my friend recently had her second EMCS and was still up baking scones 3 days later.

I had an EMCS and recovered more quickly than a friend who had a vaginal birth.

Whatever you choose, you cannot guarantee an outcome. You have to hope for the best. But personally, if I had two traumatic births, I would be going for the CS.