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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give a fuck about schools?

569 replies

sensuallettuce · 20/04/2012 21:13

AIBU to be totally hacked off with this subject every bloody year.

I don't care that Saffron didn't get into your first choice school even though the local school is varie good she just isn't "suited" to that "environment" all the council estate kids Hmm.

It's such thinly veiled snobbery and competitive parenting at its very worst. Kids should go to the local school end of and if there is a grammar system state educated kids should be permitted to take the entrance exam (not privately educated kids who are trained to pass an exam) and this should be means tested.

I live in one of the most competitive school areas of the country with a massive social divide (Poole in Dorset). Because of this I ended up with all 3 kids at 3 different schools for 3 yrs Hmm.

How can people bang on about the state providing a perfectly good education then spend an extra £50,000 on a house in the "right" area. It's hypocritical snobby bollocks.

Kids will learn if they want to. I do not believe any of them have faired any better or worse due to my non choice of school. They are fulfilling who they are.

They have a loving home and are well balanced grounded kids and they know if I believe they have been "wronged" I am behind them 100%, if they have done "wrong" I am behind the school. I a, supportive of and interested in their education.

We all need to bloody calm down about this seriously Hmm

OP posts:
Heswall · 20/04/2012 23:23

You'd be fulfilling all the stereotypes then wouldn't you US

Originalplurker · 20/04/2012 23:24

Well usual I don't know about ripping their heads off, but I wouldn't like that label used about me, or my ds referred to as a posh kid or summit, it's all labels and judges.

wordfactory · 20/04/2012 23:26

S'up to you usual shrugs.

I'm more interested in language and voice. As such, it's part of who I am.

NoWayNoHow · 20/04/2012 23:31

YABU.

HTH.

K999 · 20/04/2012 23:32

Am I on NetMums? Confused

K999 · 20/04/2012 23:32

Heswall....what stereotypes are you referring to??

wordfactory · 20/04/2012 23:34

Nope, we appear to be in my student union circa 1989.

Yellowtip · 20/04/2012 23:35

Rip their heads off v stab them in the back at book club. That kind of stereotype.

Adversecamber · 20/04/2012 23:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

membrillo · 20/04/2012 23:41

My 3 closest schools are faith schools. We are atheist, so there is no way we would be using any of them.

In what way is that snobbery or competitive parenting to not use the closest schools?

When they ban faith schools, people will be able to use their closest.

Yellowtip · 20/04/2012 23:45

I thought I said in terms that I don't have any anti pov views whatsoever, I nevertheless still care about schools. If the best school is wall to wall pov that's absolutely fine by me.

vess · 20/04/2012 23:45

Maybe they need to pay MC parents to send their kids to rough schools? If improving schools is seen as their job and responsibility, then surely they deserve to be paid, just like a headteacher does?

And another thing. Kids will learn if they want to is totally the wrong approach. It's the kind of approach that fails children, especially those with no support at home. The only way a challenging school will ever become good is through very hard work, discipline and setting high academic standards for everyone. And then parents who care about their children's education will be happy to send them there.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 20/04/2012 23:46

It's wierd how no one has said that they don't want their children to go to school with children from council estates, yet that is what is assumed when people say they don't want their children to go to a failing/sink/special measures school.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 20/04/2012 23:47

What's pov?

Yellowtip · 20/04/2012 23:49

It's ludicrous Outraged. It's just the unconvincing shallow old argument which equates caring about education with being mc which apparently equates to being a snob.

MadameChinLegs · 20/04/2012 23:49

I will be making the decision on where to send DD to primary school based on what school her CM picks up from as I luff her CM.

Yellowtip · 20/04/2012 23:49

pov = hip name for poor

Originalplurker · 20/04/2012 23:50

I agree vess the kids will learn if they want too approach is such lazy way of thinking, they have to be given the opportunity first of all, engaged, encouraged, motivated etc.

You try motivating a level students to revise last two weeks of term in December when they have modules in jan, takes downright bribery.

Intrinsic motivation varies considerably amongst students and within does ding on time of day week etc and whether they've just been dumped, had a good nights sleep. Oh cloud go on.

LeQueen · 20/04/2012 23:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

usingapseudonym · 21/04/2012 00:15

I've often wondered is mumsnet really such a small sub section of society or is it just that everyone hopes/assumes their children will pass 11+ ? My daughter is small and I'd like to hope she will but surely lots won't?

manicbmc · 21/04/2012 00:16

I am slightly tiddly and haven't read back.

A conversation about which school to send our kids to was what put me off a mother and baby group. Our kids were all 9months or less and they were all discussing the various merits of the local primaries. It hadn't yet occurred to me that I should be thinking about schools or that I should be thinking of schools other than the nearest one. So I told them I was going to home ed just to shut the stupid cows up.

In the end, ds went to a special school and dd went to the nearest one. And I still think that the over anxious mothers were snobby twats. None of them sent their kids to dd's primary. Grin

Originalplurker · 21/04/2012 00:19

We are pretty much where you are in your thinking leaden, I was a secondary teacher, in all sorts of different catchment area schools.

DH works high up in a professional services for and is the only one who hasn't got a degree, most private school educated. He worked his way up so to speak, this rarely happens now degree is just the start so to get on that path...

We wil seak out the best possible education but one which matches dc's. We do struggle with the idea of private it's just not us, but tha kfully don't have to make that decision for a while yet as regards to secondary.

thefroggy · 21/04/2012 00:38

I appealed to get ds into a better school. He was given a place in a school I would never have chosen. I visited and it was grim. Run down, filthy, carpets your feet stick to, dried spit down all of the windows. (The windows had bars, presumably because of break-ins, not to stop the kids getting out Grin). Most distressing was the work we looked at from kids who were due to leave...it could have been done by primary aged children and I wouldn't have known the difference. The place was totally depressing, the kids were rude and pretty rough. It didn't even look like a school inside.

Luckily he got into a much better school, he wouldn't have lasted five minutes in that one. Yes, it was on a council estate, as is the school he attends. We live on a council estate in the middle of the two schools so I can hardly be considered a snob. I really don't see what's wrong with trying to do the best for my kids. I'm hoping they won't screw up their education the way I did, I want them to be happy in school and do the best they can.

Originalplurker · 21/04/2012 00:51

Exactly froggy you did what was best for your ds.

ninah · 21/04/2012 01:05

yanbu+

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