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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

leaving babies unattended in buggies outside buildings eg schools

42 replies

toomuchpink · 20/04/2012 21:10

The school nursery my dd has just started will not allow any buggies in the foyet. Fine if you have one baby which you can carry into the building with you when doing pick-up, but I have twins. Carrying both through two sets of doors and into a busy nursery room is not practical. This leaves me with little choice but to leave them both outside. I am not too anxious about doing this for a minute or two, say at drop-off, but pick-up takes longer. I have to wait in a line of parents until I reach the front and then my dd is called, and we have to collect her bag and check her drawer for notes and pictures. AIBU to think my babies should not be left outside unattended during this time? Has anyone else come up against this problem or am I making a fuss about nothing?

OP posts:

sparkle12mar08 · 20/04/2012 21:11

If you're on secure grounds I personally wouldn't have a problem I think. But it would depend on the exact circumstances for me.

GravyHadALumpyMashBaby · 20/04/2012 21:11

Can you explain to the teacher about your twins and get a member of staff to bring your other DC out to you. I wouldn't leave my babies outside unattended tbh but I live in a dump.

AgentZigzag · 20/04/2012 21:13

If you don't feel comfortable doing that then you're not making a fuss about nothing.

Have you talked to the school about it?

Would they make an exception for you?

I'd be surprised if they expected you to go through that every time.

iceandsliceplease · 20/04/2012 21:15

DD's pre-school has this rule too, and I hate seeing other mums having to leave their babies outside in pushchairs as they're left unattended in a car park that's open to the public.
YADNBU.

Original poster

toomuchpink · 20/04/2012 21:16

Thanks Sparkle and Gravy. Staff are aware, but say fire regulations are fire regulations. I am inside the school grounds, but these are next to a well-used public footpath. I just feel the risk of my buggy causing a blockage in a fire is not being weighed against the risk of leaving the babies outside. We live somewhere which is often windy. What is the risk of something being blown into the buggy? I am not saying it is large, but nor is the risk my buggy will block the exit in the event of a fire - there is plenty of room to walk past it.

OP posts:

GalaxyChocolateLover · 20/04/2012 21:17

Crikey, even if I was in a school playground there is no way that I would be happy doing that.

I leave my youngest outside the door of our playgroup whilst I put DDs coat etc on but the whole time the door is open between us and I can see her and am no more than about 1.5m away from her. Its a playground environment but still wouldn't leave her. Can you speak to the staff and explain it in terms of child protection and safety and see what they say?

PinkChampagneandStrawberries · 20/04/2012 21:18

YADNBU is there some one who can bring out your daughter for you? or someone who can wait with the buggy for a few minutes? Or I know a parent at my DS school has a sling for twins, could that be an option?

permaquandry · 20/04/2012 21:18

Could you ask another mum (with a baby) to 'share' babywatching with you? Ie, one goes in with/collects their eldest whilst the other one waits with the babies, then swap? I always took my baby in with me, as had exactly the same situation, but I only had one, not two, so can see your predicament and I completely understand how you feel.

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 20/04/2012 21:19

If they won't change the rules to accomodate you, can you just wait at the back with your dt's until everyone else has gone in then just nip in and get your dd?

TeWihara · 20/04/2012 21:21

Is there a member of staff at the door who can keep an eye on them? Or could you wait and join the queue at the end so you can stay close to the twins until it is your DDs turn to be called?

I do actually leave my DS outside quite a lot, but only if I can see him or at DDs preschool there is always a member of staff watching a line of babies there!

I would talk to the teacher and ask if you could have a different pick-up arrangement that meant your twins were not unsupervised - I don't think they will let you bring the buggy in, but a TA could bring her out after all the other kids have gone for example.

Original poster

toomuchpink · 20/04/2012 21:21

Good to know I am not the only one uneasy about this. My twins are eight months so a bit heavy for the double sling. I am feeling more like pushing for another solution though, like staff bringing out my dd. In an ideal world I would not have her treated differently from the other kids though, but maybe I don't have a choice.

OP posts:

GalaxyChocolateLover · 20/04/2012 21:23

Can you wait outside with your twins until all the other kids have gone and the staff bring your eldest out to you?

I just don't think that it is acceptable to expect you to leave babies unattended. If my playgroup imposed this rule I'd be very arsey about it and would be getting in touch with the committee/governors.

picnicbasketcase · 20/04/2012 21:24

At DD's nursery, at drop off time, there is a member of staff stood by the door to make sure none of the children try to run out after their parents. They also keep an eye on any babies in pushchairs parents have left there. At pick up time, all the parents wait outside and the children are called out one by one. This system seems to make the most sense.

Can you not just check trays for letters etc first thing instead of at the end?

diddl · 20/04/2012 21:30

I wouldn´t be happy about that either.

And should OP have to wait until last-isn´t that penalising her for having twins??!!

Original poster

toomuchpink · 20/04/2012 21:49

I personally think a member of staff keeping an eye on buggies is the answer, but as a new parent I don't want to be too pushy. Maybe will try and discuss further on Monday.

OP posts:

Twit · 20/04/2012 21:53

I leave Babytwit in his pram whilst I get DS3. It's in the school grounds so I don't see the problem TBH. I have always done this - it has never occurred to me not to.

CoffeeDog · 20/04/2012 21:54

The twins nursery has a member of staff on 'baby' duty at drop off / pick up times.... receptionist can quite often befound circlring the buggies and reading a book / glove puppets / generall silliness. Whilst mums/dads can collect child and have a quick chat about their day ;)

She says where else can you do that for 20min a day and always puts her in a good mood to start and end the day; :)

wigglesrock · 20/04/2012 21:56

Other Mums do it for each other at my dds nursery school.

bobbledunk · 20/04/2012 22:00

If there was another mother there with the same problem maybe one of you could wait outside with the babies and the other go in for the kids? I wouldn't leave any baby alone, anybody could snatch it.

While it may only be for a minute, that's all it takes, anybody seeing a person walking off with your buggy would just assume they were the parent/guardian and not even think about it. Chances are quite likely once word gets out that babies are being left unattended in a certain area, there are lots of weirdos out there all competing for these rare opportunities.

Svrider · 20/04/2012 22:01

YADNBU
Yes have a word with Teacher on monday
Y should u be panicking about DTs at the exact moment your dd is full of news about her day?
Remember the phrase "no that's not going to work for me" be firm
Good luck

purpleroses · 20/04/2012 22:04

I did used to leave my DD unattended in the buggy when I collected DS if she was asleep and I didn't want to wake her. If the babies are strapped in and you put the rain cover on nobody would be able to nick them terribly quickly, and they'd be safe from anything blowing into the buggy. You can also lock a buggy with a bicycle lock if you want.

But would second what others have suggested and make a deal with another mother - one of you wait with the buggies and one of you go in and collect both the DCs. Or just turn up a little bit late each time then you won't have to wait around to collect.

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 20/04/2012 22:06

bobbledunk Where are there lots of weirdos out there all competing for these rare opportunities ?

Twit · 20/04/2012 22:08

I seem to be missing something . I genuinely don't see the problem with leaving them in their pram in the school grounds whilst you go in, sorry.

Springforward · 20/04/2012 22:08

Fire regulations? Ask for a copy of the fire risk assessment. I really don't see how the remote risk of a fire, and presumably evacuation worries, would trump the risk of a child coming to harm while being left unattended.

Twit · 20/04/2012 22:09

Maybe I should add that I live in a rural town.

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