A wedding question, sorry

[Clueslessbird]

hI I'm a regular but name changed as don't want to be outed.

My only sister gets married in a couple of months, last minute thing. She has chosen her best friend as bridesmaid, her own and her partners brothers children are bridesmaids.
am I being unreasonable to be miffed that me and my child aren't anything than regular guests? I've never been a bridesmaid and diss knows I've always wanted to be one. Plus feel upset my own child is nothing than a regular guest. I'd even buy our own outfits if needed, but money isn't in short supply there end.

I feel incrediably hurt by this, but don't want to fall out. am I being unreasonable please? Ps my own child is same age as the bridesmaids so age not an issue.

Yes I suppose I should just ask her. My parents had an argument with her already as they'd hoped it would be closer to our hometown so they could attend. I don't want to fall out I'm not like that at all. I'm happy that she's done well for herself. I chose her to be my child's godmother and she chose me to be one of her dds godmother.
She knows I have always wanted to be a bridesmaid as she's been one a few times, including twice for some of our own relations before I was born.
I don't begrudge her happiness, I'm genuinely pleased for her and wouldn't even mind her friend being chief bridesmaid etc.. Just feel so hurt that me and my child are nothing at the wedding.

But you ARE something. You're the Brides sister. You're the only people on her side that can attend. Are you really going to decline the invite because of this ?

Maybe i'm being petty, but why won't you specify the sex of your child? Is your child a boy, and they just don't want pageboys (as many couples don't?)

Oh sorry you do seem to have at least suggested you have a girl. I think...

Look, just ask her. You are conjecturing yourself into a state of acute self-pity at the moment and it may be that there has been a genuine misunderstanding. You mention, early on that your dd has a special need and I wonder whether your dsis is honestly worried about whether your dd would cope with the responsibility of being a bridesmaid or cope if she was separated from you if you were a bridesmaid. Without the slightest idea about what type of disability your dd has, it is difficult to see whether you are the victim of thoughtfulness or the exact opposite.

Perhaps, as your parents aren't going and no-one else from your family is going to be there either, she wants people from her family on her side of the church or room??

My sis is getting married soon and neither I or my other sister is bridesmaid and understand it is a little hurtful. She took a while to ask my DS's to be involved and I was much more upset about that! If I were you I would ask if your DD could perhaps be involved somehow as she's very excited?
I'm afraid as a grown-up you just have to suck it up! Paint on a smile and I'm sure when the day comes you will find yourself meaning it!

Are her children those of her DHTB or someone else's?

Both children are her dhtb's

Why don't you ring your sister and tell her you would love to be involved in her wedding - is there anything you can do to help? Then you have made yourself 'something' at the wedding, and maybe will get back the closeness with your sister by spending some more time with her?

Thanks plant sitter. Apparently it's all arranged flowers, photographer the lot. Was kept a secret for a while.