To think I will get a better night's sleep if I stop breastfeeding?

[Birdylade]

DS3 is 16 months and I'm still bfing a few times a day and at night (we co-sleep). Over the past 2 months he has been waking in the night a feeding frequently, up to three or four times, and I am knackered... He is teething so that is likely partly why he is waking but I am wondering if it is unreasonable to expect him to stop waking throughout the night if I stop bfing?

I don't really want to stop but the lack of sleep is killing me!

How much is he eating before going to bed?

I would have thought the food should have kept him going until morning.

It's probably 'normal' for him to be waking up, but have you tried not giving him anything to drink when he does and this is just a routine thing that he's used to getting but doesn't need?

You wouldn't give a non-breastfeeding child a snack in the night.

I stopped feeding dd around 21 months because I couldn't take the night waking (10 times or so). She was 3 last christmas and still doesn't sleep through on a regular basis. But at least now dh can deal with her too!

Basically, stop feeding if you want but it might not work.

My DD is 17 months, not bf and wakes more times a night than my newborn not bfing doesn't automaticly mean he will sleep more!

I started night weaning last night. We still co-slept but actually, he settled, in our bed, after 10-15 mins of loud screaming. But I would feed him for a half hour or more. If i tried to pop him off to soon I would have to start all over again, so actually, it was quicker. He's 13 months.

I'm interested to see how tonight goes.

Scholes I still give DD a bottle of milk in the night, its the only thing that settles her. So yes you do give non bf children a snack in the night.

DS continued to wake in the night after he was weaned from BF, for about a week. I just cuddled him and put him back down. After a few nights, I stopped with the cuddling and he settled himself down after a few minutes. Then a week after I stopped BFing he stopped the night waking. I think it's largely habit and comfort rather than actual hunger. Stop. Rest. Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep!!!

Would you regret weaning him if it doesn't sort out his sleep issues?

I hoped my DC2 would sleep better after she weaned at nearly 2 1/2. She's 4 next month and still doesn't sleep all night in her own bed!

My DTs both woke 3 to 6 times a night (each!) between about 15 and 17 months. They're 18 months now and waking far less.

I put it down to the massive developments they achieved around that time - walking, first words, climbing, helping with dressing and all sorts of different quirks. TBH I didn't want to wean at a time when they might need the extra security and ploughed on - luckily it stopped before I went properly crazy!

Night weaning might help, or it might not

I night weaned Baby Goo for this reason, she was much younger though.

I stopped co-sleeping when I wasn't getting any sleep. I am not sure how it works if he helps himself, but I slept with my bra on for a week.

Do you want to carry on co-sleeping, BFing or both/ neither?

I was hoping everyone would say the night waking stopped along with the bfing !

Will have a rethink. I would like to bf in the day and co sleep but not bf at night, just sleeeeeep!

I BF all my three and co-slept with my last. He took a bit longer to go through (11 months old) but even then he was waking at 10.30pm for a last feed. Hes going 7 til 7 now mostly.

To get out of the night waking habit (and it is a habbit) I would feed son at 10.30pm and my DH would co-sleep with him for a week while I slept on my own in the guest room. DH is very patient and could see the lack of sleep was making me down. When i went back to co-sleeping, I had to avoid b.feeding him for a few nights but then it was fine and he didn't ask.

I bfed DSs for approx 20 months and the only thing that stopped the night wakings for us was to stop co-sleeping. Still fed then morning and evening but they slept like logs in between and had been up regularly through the night in with me. As much as I love having them in with me, it was lovely getting a whole night's sleep. Currently going through the same thing with 6 month old DD and loving the big gummy grins at silly o'clock! For now...I think I just reached a point with the boys where I needed a decent night - and they seemed much happier for it too!

skybluepearl - did he stop waking at night as often after that?

It's probably the co sleeping that's making him want to feed in the night because he's sleeping next to his milk source.

In the same way a bottle fed baby would probably reach for a bottle during the night if it was laid next to him.

I guess I'm reluctant to stop as he is my last DC and it feels like quite a milestone to stop. I'm also worried it will affect our bond, although in my rational mind I realise this is unreasonable and it likely won't have any effect whatsoever.

I co- sleep with DD (just turned 2) who until recently would wake 10 times a night! She's always been a really dreadful sleeper- as a newborn she did 45 min stretches. She BFs a lot and always has, both in the day and night.
What worked for me was continuing to co-sleep and BF, but now if she wakes I tell her that my boobs are sleeping! She accepts this and will protest a bit, but settles back after a few mins of cuddles. She now only wakes once a night! :) it means that her morning bf is huge but I don't mind that if it means I get more sleep.
Stick at it, if you want to carry on bfing then do. Nightweaning is always an option -it doesn't have to be all or nothing. Dr JAy Gordon has a gentle nightweaning plan for co-sleeping toddlers, if you want to google. I've not tried it myself but have heard good reports from others. Good luck!

I never co-slept with DS and I stopped BFing him when he was much younger than your DC. And our bond is fine

unhelpful

I stopped bf DS2 at 27 months and it was a revelation. We went from co- not- sleeping and feeding three or four times in the night, to own bed in own room and not a broken night since apart from normal teenage horrors (he's now 19).

I still bf DS2 during the day ( 18 months) and used to co sleep with similar results. I stopped co-sleeping when he was 11 months and this is what made the difference- we had a couple of nights of him waking and crying for a few minutes and he has been largely fine since then. I was sad about it as loved cosleeping, but needed my sanity and to improve my bond with my toddler as I couldn't handle him during the day.good luck!

I co slept with my DS until he was 6 months until I realised that I was waking him when i turned over and he was then waking me needing a bit of milk to go back to sleep with. He was waking ten times a night. I know 6 months is a lot younger than yours btw, but I put him in his own cot and he slept much longer stretches after that. Now he wakes once a night at midnight (7.5 months now) and doesn't wake again til morning, but I had to reteach him not to need to milk to fall asleep. Although a lot of this is fluke probably and he was just ready.

The night waking did stop with us when I stopped bf, both with dd and ds.

drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html
theleakyboob.com/tag/dr-jay-gordon/

I've been told this method is good for cosleeping bfers - am similar with my nearly 15mth old but going to move us onto mattress in ds' room before I attempt it.