..to NOT insist that DD withdraws from a school trip to take part in a play?

[Trix2323]

I received a call from the school's drama department earlier today, asking me whether I could reconsider DD's participation in a school trip because a drama production that she is involved in is scheduled to take place the same weekend as the school trip.

The dates of the school trip were fixed long ago, and DD (15) has been looking forward to it as it will be with all five of her little group of best friends.

The dates for the play - for which she was invited to take the role of leading lady - were not fixed in advance, but were always due to take place "some time during the Summer Term".

DD says that if she had known that being in the play would prevent her from going on the trip, she would not have accepted the part.

The school say that they would really like the play to take place this academic year, and that if it does not take place that particular weekend, it cannot happen until September. They say that that they would really like DD to reconsider whether she would cancel going on the school trip, and would like me to work on her to change her mind.

Am I being unreasonable to NOT insist that DD withdraws from the trip? Or should I persude her that, for the greater good of the school, the drama department, etc. she should put herself second?

WWYD?

Presumably the trip has been paid for and planned for?

The drama department are entirely in the wrong and should have got their act together far better than this. They are the ones that should be moving their dates.

I have mixed feeling on this so have asked my teenagers what they would do. The first thing they said was it would depend on what the trip was is it an educational trip that would benefit their future studies or just a fun day/weekend which they might be able to do at some other time? The other thing they said was that if she wants to continue with drama having the part under her belt would be a good thing and if she didn't do it she was unlikely to get offered another leading role in school. Am not saying who is right or wrong just how my teenagers would look at it. They seemed to feel what sort of trip it was would be the deciding factor.

Frankly, the production sounds like a bloody shambles. No under-study(!), no set schedule, and the drama teacher is apparently utterly flabbergasted that the pupils have subjects and school events other than his department's!

Gently persuade? There'll be no gentle about it!

TBH, I'd probably drill the drama dept about why the play has to be on this one particular weekend and absolutely no other. Any bets it'll be down to the convenience of the teachers. Sorry, but if they really want your DD in the play, THEY have to reschedule.

The drama department either find another date or find another actor. It's ridiculous of them to schedule the play on the same date as a trip - these major events should all be scheduled before the school year starts.

Please don't allow them to put pressure on your DD to cover their shoddiness.

ANd what would these fucking drama department idiots do if your DD got ill or broke her leg or something? It's ridiculous to behave as though the whole production depends on one teenager being bullied into participation.

I was all prepared to come down on the side of the drama department but having read the post YANBU.

Dd has missed lots of things for performances such as the school Xmas party. However your dd wants to go on this trip, it has been paid for, she did not commit to the play on the basis it would clash with the trip.

That's shocking, the way the drama department are acting {see what I did there? }.
I'd just make it perfectly clear to them that dd is on a trip that weekend.
their options are

1. Replace dd (seems a shame for dd as it's their idocy to not look at the whole school diary when planning these things)
2. Run the play a different weekend
3. Run the play up to the day she goes on the trip - ie, midweek dates rather than weekends

but I would be telling them in no uncertain terms that I would be extremely unhappy if they start making her feel bad because they didn't sort dates out before they started rehearsing.

I would support her in her decision to go on the trip she has planned for and wants to go on and tell the drama department to sort themselves out politely decline the drama department's request to 'gently' persuade.

Secondary school departments are a bit rubbish IMHO at joined up scheduling. All think they are the most important too. For us it's the sports vs music battle - choose county orchestra as a weekly commitment vs thr possibilty of being picked for the 1st team in rugby- of course we can't promise he'll get in he team if he gives up orchestra theas18 but if he isn't available for Saturday matches he can't be selected!! ( tears hair out- particularly as previous experience is hell be injured by week 6 of the season anyway and will have given up the orchestra place for nothing - I digress!!)

This bullying by the drama dept can't continue. Your dd has decided- if the play can't be moved then she should just write explaining shes resigning the part ( unless she really values school drama as a hobby/ career path)

YANBU

Your DD won't be the only one capable of taking the part

If she was ill on the day, they'd replace her.

Asking for your permission to try and change her mind is disgusting imo and I really hope you don't put her in the situation where she is face to face with a couple of adults (who normally you would be suggesting she cooperates with) trying to fight her corner. The fact that this is even being suggested would make me have a very low option of the teaching staff.

The dates for the trip were set, it is up to the drama department to sort out another date for the play.