To keep my daughter off school for a day?

[squashedbanana]

DDs school have planned a 'Bring a Dad' day where they can bring in their fathers or if unable to another male relative. I am a lone parent, DD hasn't seen or heard from her father for 7 years, as if she didn't feel different to other children already this is just going to highlight it. There isn't any male who she would be able to take in, so she won't have anyone, my initial kneejerk reaction is to keep her off school that day so she doesn't feel lonely or different

AIBU?

I've never heard of this before. What's the point? What happens on these days? What do the dads do?

Sounds like a rather stupid idea to me.

So if they havent an available father they can bring a relative or friend? So the school have basically organised Bring ABloke, and Bloke Will Do, Day?

Just grab one on the way into school, ideally a pretty one. School won't care as long as its a bins fide adult male.

How odd. Glad your sending in her in, but I can see why this would bother you.

Bona fide

Have you queried this with the school? It's a seriously bonkers idea- at our school half the kids would have no father there, a quarter would have two or more,,,,,,,,

Stupid idea.

My DC would be in the same situation too, my DD is really sensitive to it at the moment and she would hate it.
My DS is having 'problems' at the minute, according to his paed it's because he 'hasn't got a dad', or a 'close' male role model, i told him i would search for one on ebay :o

Our school does this. The letter about it explained that, according to research, mums tend to be far more involved with schools than dads; however, children with fathers who are involved in their schooling tend to do better than those with fathers who aren't as involved. The idea is therefore to get the dads to take an interest in what goes on in the school, to learn a bit more about how children are taught and to listen to a lecture from the HT about the importance of dads taking an active interest in education and not leaving it all to the mums.

It was quite well attended at our school, with a lot of dads taking time off work to go - probably around 15-20 dads for dd's class of 30, but spread across three different days so no more than around 6 at any one time. It seems that it was all managed quite sensitively - the kids "shared" the dads who were present on the day, and nobody appeared to be upset about not having a dad there for them. They did numeracy activities with the kids.

DH went and enjoyed it. The school also has take a mum days and even grandparent days. DD had nobody attend for the grandparent day but was totally unphased by it. Single mum friend said that her kids weren't bothered about not having a dad.

I don't know how much difference the days actually make - I think our school had quite a good turnout because the fathers are already quite involved. I agree that a parents' day might be better - but then perhaps it would be mostly mums attending and it would therefore defeat the object.

Breezy Will you bid on ebay or Buy it Now?

DS's school does this usually on the friday before fathers day.

Last year DS sat with friends and their father. This year he'll probably just sit with the children whose father can't be there. Unless my friends husband wants him to sit with them.

DS won't feel bad he knows that some children only have one parent. Some mums weren't at mums to lunch. It happens.

haha Breezy let's buy 2, one for my DD too, we might get a discount if we buy the blokes in bulk!

I think you should turn up yourself- to prove a point that not everyone has a father figure and that you are proud to be doing the job of both parents I can totally see why you'd want to keep her off, I'm not a lone parent but I the situation where we have no other family, this gets really upsetting for my kids when grandparents are mentioned at school and their friends receive loads of gifts at Xmas, birthdays and Easter where my kids only have things off me and DH. I do think keeping her off might make her feel even worse about it though

Yeah ASH I seriously think that is a great idea, seriously. Do it OP.

Also its such a flipping heterormative idea.

YABU!! Our school do this and of course not every one's dad turn up as most of them have to work. My DH always goes and he usually has a table full of kids working with him. I think it's a great idea!

OP, I am 100000% sure she wont be the only one. hand on in there x

Bloody stupid idea!

Mind you I hate all these " bring an adult" things - when both parents work and you simply don't have local relatives it's a really pain.

When dd2 was in year 4 a classmates mother died of cancer, when DH was teaching in the state sector one of his kids parents hung themselves. Bereaved kids aren't that rare sadly - how do they cope with the pain that'll stir up?

DH finds the challenge of mothers/ fathers day cars sticky enough ground but this is. Really difficult.

I think this is a terrible idea and I would either show up myself or keep her off. It's not that same as having a dad that works etc. I really feel for your DD :(

My DC's have a Dad who may/may not be able to attend, but I know a few that don't and I think this just highlights the issues that they face.

YANBU

If our school does a bring a dad day ,my DCs are doomed...they have two mums!

I hate all these days, my dd's school had a Friday open afternoon for half an hour before school ends, all lovely, but every week when they were in Reception, there would be one crying as their parent didn't come. Even worse if it's for dads, as they are even less likely to be coming in (mine works and lives away in the week). I wouldn't keep my child off though, just prepare them that no-one will be coming in for them that day.

I would be seriously unimpressed if my kids school did this. My dh died 2 years ago and I can't think of anything worse than them bringing home a letter asking their dad to go in. It's bad enough him not being here for school runs, sports day, plays etc. All our male relatives do not live locally either.

A carer day would be much more appropriate.