To keep my daughter off school for a day?

[squashedbanana]

DDs school have planned a 'Bring a Dad' day where they can bring in their fathers or if unable to another male relative. I am a lone parent, DD hasn't seen or heard from her father for 7 years, as if she didn't feel different to other children already this is just going to highlight it. There isn't any male who she would be able to take in, so she won't have anyone, my initial kneejerk reaction is to keep her off school that day so she doesn't feel lonely or different

AIBU?

I think it's a bit rubbish of the school to do this. "Bring a parent day", or "Bring a carer day", would be much more inclusive.

I cannot believe that the OP is getting a hard time over this - The children who's fathers are working, or cannot come for other reasons wont be bothered, but this really highlights things for those children without parents, what if i childs father has died? Totally insensitive, and quite frankly, whats the bloody point of it? YADNBU

I doubt very much she'll be the only one or even in that small a minority, lots have dads that didn't care/realise/can't get day off. so yabu. And tough as it may seem, she's got to get used to her difference.

DH and I never get to go in to these things (work commitments) we miss assemblies, sports day, open day... Parent's lunches. Everything.
I'm glad you're sending her in as normal. Primary schools go way over the top with parental stuff nowadays.
Your DD is not alone not having contact with her dad. I think it's a strange thing for your DD's school to do TBH.

Somewhere in my imagination mutt having just re-read the thread, its pretty balanced. I maintain the rest of my comment though.

YANBU what a insensitive day to have

yes im sure work commitments will stop some but their child has a dad at home,and does dad things,they know there dads about so are secure in that

this child dosent and maybe will make her very sad,and have other children asking her ??????????????

like somebody said why not a carer day that would cover all aspects surely

i wouldnt blame you op if you kept your daughter of,i think its an awful idea to have such a specific day

you can tell im a single parent im sure lol

This idea is open to all sorts of problems. For instance, are all the Dads CRB checked? (Yes, I know it's a petty point but you get my drift)

Is there a bring mothers day?

I'd consider going myself, tbh.

They don't need CRB checks because they won't be unsupervised with the children

Just to back up virgil's point, we have had the same type of day, and probably 15% of Dads attended (not including DH!)

Actually I felt quite sad for my DCs as he couldn't go due to work, and I had visions of every other child with a Dad - definitely not the case though.

what a thoughtless idea. I hate these schemes, schools can be very insensitive, you really would expect them to be more aware but many seem surprisingly reactionary in outlook. They seem to think that anyone not in a school wafts around baking or pops in to the office on a whim. Send her in, you have nothing to be ashamed of. You might consider some diplomatic feedback to the school though.

Nice to see you haven't lost your sense of humour :)

Most of the time they end up with about 4 Dad's - everyone shares

round here a few of the dads have fathered half the school anyway,lol

What a weird idea. What are the lesbian parents meant to do? And do the kids with two gay dads bring them both?

I would go for 'Bring a Grown Up Day' if it absolutely has to be done.

I agree with AutumnSummers that Keeping her off will make her feel that she something to be ashamed about - there will be plenty of other kids there who haven't brought a dad. Play down the importance of it, talk about it with her as "a few of the dads are going to be coming in" (there won't be many, as people above have said) so it will be more a case of a day with a few more grownups around than usual rather than every child having a parent with them.

I'd have found this really hard as a child, seeing as my dad was dead and I'd have felt the need to explain his absence. I agree with the 'Bring a Grown Up' suggestion. Far more inclusive and much easier to plan for as a family.

So YANBU to be concerned about how she'd feel about this but I would say YAB rather U for keeping her off altogether. I'd also like to know the reasoning behind this choice.

I mean the choice of 'Dads' day, not your choice to keep her off.

They did this at my children's school. Dad could go to one, but not the other due to work. He was the only father to attend. They are doing a Mum's day soon.

"Bring a Dad in day" shitty idea.

My DH has never known who is dad is.
He recounts the story of when he was six and the class were asked to make cards for Fathers Day. He put his hand up and said "I don't have a dad", silly @itch teacher replies "everyone has a dad" and made him sit making a card for the rest of the lesson to an unknown dad . Luckily he had a bloody brilliant mum who he calls his Maf (mother and father) . Perhaps they should have a bring a maf day?

Haven't read All posts but think it is a totally stupid and insensitive idea on the part of the school. It should have been bring a parent/ grandparent day of they wanted to do something like that.

I am a single parent, as was my mother. If this was my dc (who is sensitive to the fact her dad does not live with us/ever see her) I would go to the 'bring a Dad to school day' as I am both mum and dad...

the problem is with the school's concept, not your family

I can't see what the school are trying to achieve or what they imagine the kids will get out of it. It sort of implies that the school think that fathers aren't involved with their children's education and need to ve enticed into school.

op I doubt your daughter will be alone for various reasons. O think keeping her off school will make her feelmore isolated. That said, the school shouldn't have put you in that position in the first place.