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AIBU?

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Original poster

to be fuming over his lying rather than the porn!

71 replies

Newmummytobe79 · 18/04/2012 16:03

I'm nosey.

I looked through the history on MY laptop and found a porn site - with what looks like quite a few videos watched. I laughed at first and asked him when he'd been watching it, you dirty dog etc - to which he replied he hadn't and when would he have the time? The only time he would have the time would be when he sometimes can't sleep and tidies up downstairs ... and goes on ebay ... hmmmmm!

I've checked the properties and a few videos have been visited more than once but it only lists todays date and I can't find the time/date they were watched - does anyone know if you can do this?

Since I asked him the website hasnt been visited since! And I don't think he knows how to delete the history.

What is really eating me up is that I have the blatant truth in front of me on the laptop yet he swears blind he's not been on there. This now makes me doubt our entire relationship regarding other things I may have asked him if he's lying over something as small (well it WAS a small issue) as this.

What do you all think? and are there any web/computer wizz kids out there that can help me find out when they were viewed?

OP posts:
Starwisher · 18/04/2012 17:30

Sit him down and say,

" I love you and i dont mind you looked at, please dont feel ashamed. im not going leave you, just be open and honest as i value those qualities in a relationship, as trust is the paramount thing in a realtionship. Then we can move on."

TotemPole · 18/04/2012 17:30

She was checking her history. That's how she found the sites listed.

PurpleRomanesco · 18/04/2012 17:31

Or just tell him to stop being a cowardly dick and own up.

I'm nice, Honest :o

Original poster
Newmummytobe79 · 18/04/2012 17:32

Spot on picnibasket!

bowerbird I have an issue with him lying about it. We've watched it together so I really don't have an issue with porn. It's the fact he can lie so well to my face and I'm checking I'm right so that if I decide to, I can say - here is the fact so why are you lying?

I was in MY browser history - and saw that, so looked into it further.

Even if he asked me about the showering comment earlier - I'd tell him the truth!

What I worry about is that there is a chat thing on there ... maybe that's why he's lying? And that would bother me.

OP posts:
TotemPole · 18/04/2012 17:32

OP, have you watched the videos yourself? Is there something dodgy about them or is just regular porn?

Kewcumber · 18/04/2012 17:32

Problem with control?!

It's her laptop!

I'd be bloody pissed off if anyone used my laptop to view porn because of teh random bloody annoying pop-ups you end up with.

She wasn;t checking his browsing history but HERS.

What about her privacy? If he wants his porn usage to be secret private then he can use his own bloody computer.

BumpingFuglies · 18/04/2012 17:33

This happened to my friend newmummy, she didnt mind her bf watching it at all, just wanted him to be honest. Agree with starwisher about how to talk it thro

bowerbird · 18/04/2012 17:46

Ok new mummy, I accept you don't have a problem with porn. However, just consider that it's not entirely black and white/lying and tell the truth. Perhaps he just doesn't wish to share this information with you, that it's private to him.

There are things in my head that I don't share with my husband, and vice versa. Doesn't mean that we're dishonest with each other.

Kewcumber · 18/04/2012 17:47

"it's private to him" - then he shouldn't have used her laptop.

PurpleRomanesco · 18/04/2012 17:50

Well as long as you keep them in your head and off of you husbands laptop bowerbird that's fine, Otherwise it's not private.

ABatInBunkFive · 18/04/2012 17:51

It does if you lie when asked a direct question. Hmm

Starwisher · 18/04/2012 17:59

Op, what will you do?

bowerbird · 18/04/2012 18:00

ABAt, have you never lied when asked a direct question, such as "how much did those shoes cost?"

WorraLiberty · 18/04/2012 18:04

What I worry about is that there is a chat thing on there...maybe that's why he's lying? And that would bother me

It's not a chat thing really...they're pop up boxes claiming women in your area want to chat, but you have to sign up with a credit card.

ABatInBunkFive · 18/04/2012 18:04

I'm not the one claiming that she's not dishonest. Hmm

You can't change the definition of a word because you've decided it doesn't apply to you.

There are of course levels of dishonesty, i'm not sure i'd liken watching porn on someone elses pc to knocking a £10 off the price of shoes though.

WorraLiberty · 18/04/2012 18:06

There are of course levels of dishonesty, i'm not sure i'd liken watching porn on someone elses pc to knocking a £10 off the price of shoes though.

Why not? I'd say it's almost exactly the same because the OP doesn't mind porn.

ABatInBunkFive · 18/04/2012 18:08

Cleaning up the computer because it's been infected with all sorts of rubbish for a start. Wink

WorriedBetty · 18/04/2012 18:13

Is that a new dress in your wardrobe? Oh no, I've had it for years... think on young lady....

bowerbird · 18/04/2012 18:13

Ta, worra.

WorraLiberty · 18/04/2012 18:15

Youtube infects your computer with all sorts of rubbish...as does Facebook and Ebay.

As long as you've got antivirus tools in place (as everyone should) it's not a problem.

ABatInBunkFive · 18/04/2012 18:16

'think on young lady'?

WTF?

WorriedBetty · 18/04/2012 18:17

Grin its my mother in me..

ABatInBunkFive · 18/04/2012 18:17

Never been infected with anything from ebay or youtube or facebook, the one trip to porn land ended up with a squillion of crap and that was without clicking on any links. However i think it's different you don't different strokes and all that.

Should i be thanking you too? Confused

WorraLiberty · 18/04/2012 18:24

Well some wine and chocolates would be nice Grin

Starwisher · 18/04/2012 18:24

Oh dear. Youtube, ebay etc infect pc's? Someone has been falling for some right porkies

"it wasnt me looking at midget lovers dw, it was the facebook, honest!"

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