To think every workplace has one???

[peugotgringo]

A weirdo colleague that makes you a combination of ??

Oh, office weirdos. I had one who hid my post in his drawer and told me it was somewhere else.

He used to come out with such bollocks as, 'There are only 3 male primary school teachers left in the country because people think men are all paedophiles.'

He would loudly slag off the work a sub-contractor did when the sub-contractor was in earshot.

He used to try to palm work off on me that he thought was 'too boring' for him even though we were at the same level.

Did a de-tox which mean he did really smelly farts which would roll around the office like a cloud of noxious gases. Until he started going outside to fart.

I also worked with a woman who never ate her lunch in the office, THEREFORE NO-ONE ELSE WAS ALLOWED TO EITHER. Ugh. She was so annoying. Thought herself perfect and the standard by which everything else had to be done. Really nosey, astute and downright mean. I struggled to pass my driving test, so one day she turned to me and said in a babyish, faux-concerned voice, "Don't you think you ought to give up?"

So glad I'm out of there!

My current office has mostly "normal" weirdos eg Milk/Fridge Monitors, eccentric IT security guy, Facilities Manager who is slightly obsessed with utterly trivial "problems" eg takes photos of the gap between cars in the (unmarked) car park if he feels they're parked too far apart; sends company-wide emails spelling out in paragraphs-long detail the dangers of opening a swing door bum-first if your hands are full, that sort of thing.

My previous company had a clearly disturbed individual - never identified - who would leave drawings and phrases in the Ladies' loo in shit and menstrual blood. There was also a manager who was convinced that others were using her butter, so she started spelling out things like "keep out" and "fuck off" in the butter. It finally culminated in her brandishing a knife at a colleague in the kitchen area because colleague happened to use the same brand of butter and manager assumed it was her tub.

I made the decision a long time ago never to eat or drink anything which has to be kept in an office fridge.

I would be here all day if I started. My office is full of THEM

I'm surprised at the amount of offices that have poop issues. I worked for a v large bank and walked into the ladies loo to find a poop in the middle of the floor - why, why do people do that?

Don'tGetMeStartedOnWeirdThingsChef'sDoTiggaxx

Not me but a friend worked in a v high-stress environment, they were all afraid of one guy in particular who was obsessive, stalkerish etc. It was obviously a horrible place to work but I never realised how bad it was until the nuts colleague MURDERED another colleague!

two old ladies ( I manage a charity shop) and the 'don't touch my cup' sagas....if a newcomer drinks out of one of 'their' cups, one old dear is on the phone to the other about it straight away...the outrage can drag on for hours days, weeks, months and as for 'someone's taken one of my sweets' !!

The old ladies who talk to themselves in the loo. With the door wide open scaring off all the Duke of Edinburgh young placements
The volunteer who does press ups in the toilet. After he's dripped on the floor. We hear him counting ''99 100 101' etc. always when desperate for loo

We are an office of three. Very small office. Exceedingly quiet, we are all heads down working away in silence a lot of the time. One of our number, once or twice a day, for no apparent reason, emits a loud high pitched one note hum for a out fifteen seconds. No one every acknowledges it, I find it very funny and try not to laugh. Maybe she is very stressed. Its not a song or anything, just this very nigh pitched noise. Of course, the other two of us are normal!

Trend seriously?

Yes seriously. There was $100K reward put out for information leading to the conviction of the killer (was in Australia) and she wanted to go forward but was terrified of getting killed, too. So I contacted police on her behalf and they wrote back to say thanks and that the suspect had actually died since the reward was posted.

She doesn't work there any more!

Wonderful