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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Have you changed your child's name by deed poll

67 replies

Leena78 · 18/04/2012 11:13

Hi there, I am just curious if you have ever changed your child's name by deed poll and if you have ever found it to be a problem or hassle with his or her future with regards to applying for a passport, bank account, driving licence etc?
Thanks

OP posts:

DrCoconut · 18/04/2012 19:21

Just don't lose the deed poll! My name was changed and the deed poll went missing. I now have no link from my birth certificate to the name on my exam certificates, marriage certificate etc. I had to sign a sworn statement for my CRB check for work and luckily when we applied to get married the vicar was OK about it.

marriedinwhite · 18/04/2012 19:36

I don't think it has anything whatsoever to do with the hv service.

You have renamed him already. Why don't you just give him a "given" name and use it and tell school that's what he's know as. His real name will appear on the register with "as x" in brackets. When he grows up he can decide which name he prefers and if necessary change it by deed poll. He can do that anyway if he wants a new name.

FWIW our ds was going to be Hugo and the midwife laughed and said "he's not a Hugo - ha ha ha". It shouldn't have but it put us off. He has a classic name and at one point preferred his middle name - when he changed schools at 8 we asked if he would like to be known by his middle name and he said "it's better but my name's x, so no".

I have a dreadful 4 syllable name and hated it as a child but grew into it later. Wouldn't have chosen it but wouldn't change it.

On balance - I wouldn't OP. You made your choice, you changed it once. Don't change it again - the poor lad will end up not knowing who he is.

bejeezus · 18/04/2012 19:51

What do you mean by there is so much that needs to be ok, besides my boys name?

joanna2012 · 18/04/2012 20:00

bonkers!

SuperScrimper · 18/04/2012 20:08

Am I the only one who is thinking, 'is a name really that important'..?

I just don't get it. Changing the name twice in under a year to get the 'perfect' one. It's only a name. The child will get nicknames at school etc and might end up being called something hardly resembling his name anyway. What will you do then? Drag him down to deed poll because you don't like the nickname?

A name is not the be all and end all of life. I don't massively like my name but I don't think if I changed it my whole life would suddenly be better.

You've changed it once. Leave it now. Or you'll end up being the Heidi Montag of name changes.

Original poster

Leena78 · 18/04/2012 21:19

Who on earth is Heidi Montag and who cares?

Joanna2012 I can see that you're vocabulary is very original with the word 'bonkers' but I quite like that word. I use to go to a nightclub in South Africa called that so it seems fitting.

To me it's not only a name, it's an identity and it should be a name that me and DH love. If our son one day decides that he hates his name (and I'm sure he will as all teenagers go through that rebellion of 'oh mum, I hate my name, how could you call me that syndrome') then so be it. He will still be okay. It's not the end of the world, there are far bigger problems in this world than getting the right name for your child. And just because it doesn't fit the bill to change it more than once, then OMG, we better not. Who are you, who gives you the right to tell people that they should never change their baby's name more than once or twice or 3 times. Please..... give me a break. People love to jump on the bandwagon of negativity and if that's what you want to do, then so be it.

OP posts:

skybluepearl · 18/04/2012 22:01

I know quite a few people who have changed first names of babies/toddlers. I have done what you have done though - felt my baby son didn't suit his origional name, chose a second boy name too quickly, then eventually changed to lovely third name at 9 months. Hes 4 now and not confused at all. But even at 9 months he quikly caught on to his new name. It just seemed to really suit him and we have never looked back. Must say friends and family were lovely about the change and thought he really suited his new name. It's really hard choosing a name for life though isn't it? I'm not one of these girls that spend years thinking of what to call my first child or how I want my wedding dress to look.

GirlWithALlamaTattoo · 18/04/2012 22:09

I used my middle name from childhood, and it was the biggest pain in the arse going. Any time I had to deal with a doctor, dentist, Inland Revenue, anything official that made me feel vulnerable and out of my depth, they called me by a name that wasn't me, because that was the first word on my ID.

I changed it by deed poll, and I'm so glad I did.

sashh · 19/04/2012 00:19

So if you do change the name don't lose the deed poll papers. Apparently it can be done online these days and only takes a few minutes and costs a few pound

Or you can do it for free.

I agree with the just use a name though - much simpler.

ComposHat · 19/04/2012 01:04

Yep I agree just call him the new name and leave the paperwork as it is. especially as you've hinted that his new name is more modern and unconventional. Lots of people are known to all and sundry by a different name to what is on their birth certificate. a Winston (birthname Simon) a Barry (Alexander) a Ron (Daniel) and an Elspeth (Amy).in addition two of my grandparents were known by their middle names.

I've always chosen to been kno
wn as a diminutive of my birthname, but have never altered it officially. Never caused a problem with work/school/university. I'd just let school know that he's to be known as your new chosen name.

Is it too cheeky to ask what the three names are?

Original poster

Leena78 · 19/04/2012 08:37

Thanks everyone. skybluepearl, have you had any issues at all with the 3 names thing. I know your son is only 4 but if he is at school did you get any problems at all? It's not too cheeky to ask but I think that if I let you know the names it might alter your views that's all.

I wasn't concerned about the paperwork part of this at all but now I'm a little concerned as I don't want him to go through any embarrassment in the future.

OP posts:

studbud2u · 03/12/2017 02:21

hi any advice would help my daughter had a son 10 year ago and the childs dad refused to accept him as his kid but agreed to pay for him .she had the child christened with his dads real surname and first name mixed into childs name .then she met a guy that wanted a ready made family he agreed to aCCEPT HER CHILD AS HIS OWN IF HE CALLED HIM DADDY so she got her child to call him daddy and she changed his name to the guys name by deed poll, ive told her to tell her son the truth but she says no and he says no they don't want him to know but she had daughter by him and the boy will see very soon he doesn't look anything like his sister or his so called dad surely she has to tell the child the truth before he cottons on to it don't you think
any help please as i can see loads off trouble if they refuse to tell the child the truth

CheshireChat · 03/12/2017 02:52

I mean this kindly, but you really need your own thread as you managed to bring back a zombie thread and it'll just annoy everyone.

Also, not everyone reads the whole thread so they'll reply to the OP, but won't notice your question.

Not sure what device you're on, but just look for the start new thread option.

studbud2u · 03/12/2017 09:33

thanks sorry

Indie139 · 03/12/2017 09:50

I changed my daughters name at 11 months. All I did really was remove a middle name. Had no idea that first and middle names can be changed on birth certificate upto 12 months old and when she 3 the registry office accepted the deed poll as proof a name change was done during that time and they amended the birth certificate. She already had a passport but I applied for a new one and included the deed poll.. there were no problems at all.

vapourtrail · 03/12/2017 10:04

Oh gawd, didn't realise this was a zombie thread until the very end and now completely over invested. Anyone else now desperate to know a) what the names were and b) did it ever get to name number 4?

CountessofGrantham · 03/12/2017 10:31

Yeah I know it’s a zombie thread but bloody hell. And here’s me wondering if it’s fair to the cat I want to rehome to change his name!

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