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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Have you changed your child's name by deed poll

67 replies

Leena78 · 18/04/2012 11:13

Hi there, I am just curious if you have ever changed your child's name by deed poll and if you have ever found it to be a problem or hassle with his or her future with regards to applying for a passport, bank account, driving licence etc?
Thanks

OP posts:
thatisall · 18/04/2012 14:56

what??? wait I thought we were talking surnames???

really would think twice about this. I had dbts about dd's name at one point, but you can't just go around changing children's names??? twice??? What does the health visitor say about it out of interest?

redwineformethanks · 18/04/2012 15:05

I think changing once is OK. Changing more than once isn't so good. It's more likely to cause confusion.

squoosh · 18/04/2012 15:07

His third name?

Crazy, absolutely crazy.

themildmanneredjanitor · 18/04/2012 15:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Leena78 · 18/04/2012 15:28

I was waiting for the bully comments on here. Wow it took awhile but there are always the bullies on this forum. disgraceful! You should take a look in the mirror fgs

OP posts:
thatisall · 18/04/2012 15:30

I don't think anyone is bullying, ppl are genuinely shocked that you are planning this?

Leena78 · 18/04/2012 15:32

Why? people call their children so many nicknames nowadays before their actual names, Surely those kids are confused. I'm not planning on doing this, I have done it but I was hoping for some advice with regards to deed polls in the future.

OP posts:
thatisall · 18/04/2012 15:34

Obv you aren't going to say....but is anyone else wondering what the THREE names are?

Leena78 · 18/04/2012 15:38

It's not about how many names you go through, it's about having a name that is right for your child.

OP posts:
Leena78 · 18/04/2012 15:40

by the way themildmanneredjanitor, you will be happy to know that you are right, I am bonkers and nuts! Wink

OP posts:
Pandemoniaa · 18/04/2012 15:45

The easiest thing to do is call your child by your (eventually) preferred forename and leave the formal documentation unchanged.

It's perfectly legal to call yourself (and be known by) one forename yet have another on your birth certificate. Anyone whose name is routinely shortened will be familiar with this and it causes no problems.

I do wonder at your chopping and changing so frequently though. So given that this is now the third choice and you don't seem to find bestowing a series of different identities on your child anything out of the ordinary, perhaps it might be best to leave things alone just in case your preferences change as he grows up and he appears to fit a fourth, but quite different name better.

thatisall · 18/04/2012 15:46

Actually its about the child. Like I said...have you spoken to your hv about this? How old is dc?

Leena78 · 18/04/2012 16:04

He is 10 months old. I haven't seen my hv for awhile as I have 2 little ones under 2 so I'm really busy.

OP posts:
thatisall · 18/04/2012 16:13

I think you should get some advice from your hv. TBH I've never heard of anyone changing a child's first name full stop (though Im sure it happens).

2 little ones under 2 or no, maybe you should take some time to go along for a chat? Like a pp says, who knows whether you'll change your mind again?

bejeezus · 18/04/2012 18:19

I second speaking to your HV, OP

Leena78 · 18/04/2012 18:23

But it's taken us this long to find the name we love. Is that so bad. We couldn't possibly keep his first name as it sounds just like his brother's name which we didn't realise until using it at home all the time.

We love his name now and have told family already, is it really that bad? I guess if my family were to be honest with me they would also say I'm nuts so I guess I must be but I really don't see that this is such a bad thing? Is that just me Hmm

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 18/04/2012 18:28

I think it's just you.

I really am quite shocked that a 10 month old baby would be given 3 different names.

scrivette · 18/04/2012 18:30

Do you have to change his name officially? Lots of people in my family are known by a completely different name to the one on their birth certificate and it hasn't ever been a problem for them.

bejeezus · 18/04/2012 18:35

I don't think its nuts. Tiny little alarm bells are ringing for me though?

When I am stressed or upset, I project those feelings onto something else other than the actual cause of my stress or upset. Do you do that OP?

It's really unusual to ne so undecided and to change a vantage name 3 times IMO. What is your partners opinion?

2 under 2 year olds is hard work

Maybe way off the mark. But that was my gut reaction

McHappyPants2012 · 18/04/2012 18:42

www.adviceguide.org.uk/nireland/relationships_ni/relationships_birth_certificates_and_changing_your_name_e/change_of_name_nireland.htm

op this may help you, but i am shocked that a baby 10 month old will have had his name changed twice...3rd time lucky lol

Leena78 · 18/04/2012 18:51

tbh I was diagnosed with pnd but I don't think that is the issue. I do think that it's just been difficult because we want to be sure we love his name, that's all. I don't know, as people say, it's just me but I have always been a little different to the masses.

OP posts:
thatisall · 18/04/2012 18:59

OP given the information about your pnd I would definitely speak to your hv first.

Really you should be taking some time to see her more regularly anyway just for some support, 2 under 2s and pnd is NOT easy.
I have counselled women with pnd and many focus one something separate from the issue of their depression.

'if i could just lose weight, things will be better.
'If we move house, things will be better
'If I change the name.......?

I'm not saying you are definitely projecting (who am I to say that?) but I'm just saying, maybe if you spoke to someone about what it is that's driving these feelings of wanting to change names...and then change again...you might feel differently?
\Please don't take this in a negative way....x

lisaro · 18/04/2012 19:06

What about when you get bored with this name. OP? 3 names? Bloody ridiculous! If you're that bored get a pet!

Leena78 · 18/04/2012 19:08

I'm not taking it in a negative way at all. I just didn't really get close to any hv so not sure about that. Also, there is so much that needs to be okay besides my boy's name. The first name was great but we can't use it as it confuses the boys. The second name is a classic but just not for me. And the 3rd is more modern and cute at the same time and just suits him. The second name is the legal one though but I really don't know about it. I love his name now. My DH has been very supportive but obviously we've gone through a lot as it's also driving him insane at the same time but he completely understands me and where I am coming from and has been in agreement mostly. But he's also a little nuts lol. We have been calling him by this name for awhile now and I just feel bad to go back again. We will include his names on the birth certificate onto the deed poll so surely that will be okay?

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 18/04/2012 19:12

How could you not realise the two names were similar? You named them both, didn't you?

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