To talk to the teacher re smut?

[Almacks]

I know there is always a certain amount of sniggery sex talk amongst top end primary kids, but I think my daughter is feeling uncomfortable/disturbed by the amount she's hearing. She knows about "normal" sex stuff, but there's a lad in her group who keeps bringing it up. I've heard about hand gestures to refer to two other class members "doing it", "private time" on the school field between him and another boy where they pretended to shag each other (in the missionary position tho' not sure how that'd work...) and did sex talk, watched by loads of kids, and, today, kept on in the classroom about wanting a teabag. This was a new one on me, btw, but DD could tell from context it was smutty, turns out it is.

Anyway, I'm thinking this is all a bit too frequent (all within last two weeks of term, then today), and maybe it's time to have a chat to the teacher. I do also know all the parents of the children involved, but DD is scared of getting into trouble with the kids if I say anything to anybody.

I remember being ten and eleven, last year of primary school and talking around this sort of thing. Little sex obsessed kids that we were.
There was a 'sexercise' machine out in the playground (don't ask ) and I remember a 'rainbow' kiss being explained to me.
It didn't really make a lot of sense at the time, just a bit 'why would you?'
But that does sound one stage too far and sounds like someone needs to have a quiet word with his parents.

A child, should not feel uncomfortable in school, as an adult shouldn't in work.

Yes, it's natural and normal, but children and i think this has been more of a male problem, in the past, need to know appropriate behaviour around others.

I dread being on a bus with school boys because of the sex talk that they come out with and the abuse that they give girls, is often unbelievable, especially as when challenged, they still think that this is ok.

I think that allowing this behaviour affects what females think they have to live with.

It sounds as though it is going to far.

I am 49 and have no idea what teabagging is ffs!

If it bothers your dd then you have to say something about it op. My dd is 11 and I worry that she doesn't share this playground stuff with me (sometimes).

"I think that allowing this behaviour affects what females think they have to live with."

Agree with you 100% birdsgottafly.

There was a situation in my childs school (primary) a good few years back which sounds similar to this, It turned out the child was being sexually abused and obviously authaurities were involved. I would mention it to the school.

So 10 year olds are playing 18 x box games that have the word teabagging in them?
I'm quite shocked at the poster who said her 14 yr old plays them tbh

Well I'm 50+ and don't remember any explicit sex talk in the playground. Our dc are ds 17 and dd almost 14. Have never experienced anything like this; have never heard of tea bagging and would not broach it with either of our children. Had they come home and reported being uncomfortable about anything similar or as inappropriate I would have requested an appointment with the HT and I would have shared my concerns. I would not have told my children and I would have asked the HT not to involve them or share it with them either. I would then have left the matter in the HTs hands.

It sounds like something that needs to be reported.

I am 42 and up until a few months ago had never heard of teabagging.. it came up in conversation in the pub and it seemed I was the only one that didnt know though...

I do remember that the last year of primary school was a hotbed of experimentation, talking about "sex", I remember some boys bringing in porn mags, the girls were talking about periods, the boys wanted to flash their willys and were asking the girls to flash their boobs.. but it really was all innocent stuff.. nothing bad ever happened, and I think at 10 it is a very natural bit of behaviour.

Bewilderedmum, I'm confused as to why you asked a teenage boy what teabagging meant. I've gathered the meaning of it on here, but hadn't heard of it before. What stopped you, given you are on the internet, from just Googling it? I wouldn't want to embarrass my children when they were in their teens.

OP, report it to the school if you want - I mean, it's clearly not beyond the realms of possibility that this boy is being abused and that would be horrific.

It just strikes me as a storm in a tea cup - from your OP, there are a couple of boys engaging in this kind of talk together, not directing it at DD, not bothering her specifically, just joking amongst themselves in an attention-getting way. Obviously very immature, but they are 10!

And whilst I get that sexualised talk may be a sign of abuse, it isn't necessarily - as a number of others on here have testified, some children that age just find it hilarious. How would you like it if your DD got into some stupid giggly clique where they make a load of inappropriate jokes based on something someone's older sis said, and then SS came banging on your door because of it? It's all a bit 1984 for me, tbh.

Also might be worth listening to the PP who is a year 7 teacher and says this is an 'in' joke. I think it quite likely that someone's older dsis or dbro has passed this little gem on and the class clowns are milking it.

I know what tea bagging is from a Sex and the City ep, but when someone mentioned gaming above it all became clear.

DH, who reads the Guardian Games Blog confirmed that it's what you (can) do to mock your defeated opponent in a first person shooter - someone discovered that you could do this (the game isn't designed for you to do this deliberately, it's just a silly joke "oh, look, if I hit the crouch button while I'm standing over you it looks like I'm tea bagging you, ha ha").

The meme caught on, so now any eleven year old who is allowed to play X box online FPSs with strangers, even if the game itself is a 12 certificate, will be aware of the concept. And they will of course pass on this hilarious joke to any friend of theirs who plays FPSs with them.

I know what tea bagging is from a Sex and the City ep, but when someone mentioned gaming above it all became clear.

DH, who reads the Guardian Games Blog confirmed that it's what you (can) do to mock your defeated opponent in a first person shooter - someone discovered that you could do this (the game isn't designed for you to do this deliberately, it's just a silly joke "oh, look, if I hit the crouch button while I'm standing over you it looks like I'm tea bagging you, ha ha").

The meme caught on, so now any eleven year old who is allowed to play X box online FPSs with strangers, even if the game itself is a 12 certificate, will be aware of the concept. And they will of course pass on this hilarious joke to any friend of theirs who plays FPSs with them.

Sorry for xpost - bloody iPhone.

My nearly 10 yr old in yr 5 is coming home all the time talking about sex and and asking me all kinds of questions about sex, swear words etc so I doubt it's unusual. he's obviously hearing from other kids, often those with older siblings. The tea bagging I think is from Call Of Duty and the likes. It's when one soldier stands over the dead body of their enemy and taunts them by dipping over them with their balls or whatever, even my 6 yr old has cottoned on to this from watching the older ones. It all sounds quite normal unfortunately. They reckon many kids start accessing hard core porn about this age.

Nope, I'm still none the wiser

What is teabagging please?? Would ask DH but he's sleeping!!!

Babylon, from the urban dictionary:

Dipping your testicles into the open mouth of another person. Kind of like dipping a tea bag in and out of a cup of water.

Babylon, it's probably a good thing that he's asleep. He might have tried a demonstration.

Russell Howard talks about teabagging on his show fairly regularly

Oh, I thought it was the act of taking a man's balls into your mouth, not the other way around. I wonder if its original meaning has been changex/skewed by the gaming/"banter" type situation into a gesture of dominance, like the vile "we totally raped them" - used after defeating an opponent well.

Even if it is the Wiki interpretation of it, 10 year old kids should not be using it.Speak to the teacher.

Penetrative Anal sex is perfectly possible in the missionary position, indeed I believe it's the commonest form used when just men are involved. Not relevant to the AIBU, but it would work if you wanted to try it...

I am 43 and in my last 2 years of primary school (wierd system so it was years 6 and 7) the boys were obsessed with sex. There was lots of sex talk and rough and tumble aping. Thinking back I think it was a red flag for at least one of the children concerned.

The teacher should know- for child protection issues and to be reinforcing the self respect message.