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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Dining Table

65 replies

itsonlyfurniture · 16/04/2012 15:44

I've namechanged so that I don't 'out' myself.

Basically I don't particularly like the dining table and chairs we have. It's not to my taste and it's oval - whereas ideally i'd like a rectangular one so it fits in the room better and is more pleasing to my eye I also don't like the chairs (however DH has now done some basic DIY with them so they no longer creak/come out of the joints).

It's my DH's table and chairs and was a present from his parents.

He know's I would like to change it but we can't afford it and therefore I have 'learnt to live with it' as there is nothing fundamentally wrong with it.

My DH has said we'll look at changing it when a) we have more money b) we have done everything else we need to first or c) if it falls apart which are all fair enough.

I have just been offered a lovely almost spanking brand new table and 6 chairs, which is more to my taste and is rectangular, for absolutely free

DH has gone all quiet on the subject and says it will hurt his mum's feelings if we get rid of it now as it was a present.

I can understand this, however - and this is I think the important bit - it was a WEDDING present to him and his ex bitch of a wife. I don't think i'm being unreasonable to want to get rid of it now i've got the chance of a much nicer free one that will be ours, not his and his ex wife's.

AIBU?

Would it hurt your feelings if your son's new wife wanted to change a piece of furniture you'd bought him and his ex???? I see it as improving things, I'd still want to change it even if it hadn't been a wedding present iyswim.

Jeez, sorry that's a bit long!

OP posts:

cherrypieplum · 17/04/2012 10:12

It's your house and you should have what you want! Let your MIL hang on to relics if she wants but you don't have to!

SarahStratton · 17/04/2012 10:13

Yep, get rid.

And arf at the dog towels.

pictish · 17/04/2012 10:15

Yanbu. His mum can huff all she likes, but it's you (and your dh's) decision.

Frabkly, if she's going to get all lemon faced over the fact that you don't want the dining suite she bought for her son and his ex wife, then she can go sing.

You don't have to want it and you don't have to keep it.

NurseJennyLee · 17/04/2012 10:18

Give MIL first refusal of it. If she doesn't want it, sell it. If you've been offered a dining set that you love, for free you'd be mad to pass it up.

fedupofnamechanging · 17/04/2012 10:28

You can't keep things in your home, that you don't actually like, just because his mother bought them. Particularly as it was a wedding gift for dh and his ex wife.

I'd be quite tempted to offer it to the ex wife - then it would be with one of the rightful owners and mil/dh wouldn't have a leg to stand on

Seriously, your dh should be more concerned with your feelings. If someone is stupid enough to get offended just because you want to have furniture that is to your own taste, then that is their problem and not yours.

I wouldn't even ask my dh - he would just come home from work to find the new table in place. My dh hates it when I rearrange furniture (he is not good with change) and I just tell him to get a grip and do it anyway.

sunnydelight · 17/04/2012 10:37

YANBU. I think you've been really good actually living with something you hate that was a wedding present that wasn't yours. Let DH deal with his mother if it's a problem, nothing to do with you.

daisyrain · 17/04/2012 11:39

YANBU, Definately take the new free table & chairs.
Take the old ones to a local charity place, so someone can get good use out of them.
Enjoy your new ones!

KitCat26 · 17/04/2012 13:46

YANBU. It wasn't a gift to you, so get rid, especially as you've been offered an alternative.
I could lend you my MIL if you like, she saws up furniture she doesn't like and puts it in the bin or has a bonfire... (charity place would be better though).

Mendeleyev · 17/04/2012 13:52

Did you get your own way OP?

FamiliesShareGerms · 17/04/2012 14:13

Presumably your DH is concerned about offending your MiL because you don't have the same taste in furniture? Ie by implication you're saying that she has rubbish taste in furniture (which may well be true, but no-one would like to hear that!)... So either you have to come clean about this and say that the stuff has been replaced with something you prefer, or you have to manufacture a reason to replace them. Either random axe accidents, or a (mythical or otherwise) friend or relative who needs them more than you. depends on your relationship with MiL, really, which approach.

AwayWithTheWeeFolk · 17/04/2012 14:19

I would get rid, if MIL challenges you just go all misty eyed and say in a little voice " I just couldn't eat another meal on a table DH loved shagging his Ex on".

tinkertitonk · 17/04/2012 16:20

Hang on, this table has no meaning for you, fair enough. But it has meaning for him; the ex-wife has nothing to do with it.

BTW, referring to the ex-wife as a bitch is not exactly classy and tends to suggest that he like bitches.

Deadsouls · 17/04/2012 17:30

What's with all the furniture related threads today?!

fabulousathome · 17/04/2012 17:59

Ebay it and give her the money? (Let her know first in case she knows someone that wants it).

TheLaineyWayIsEssex · 17/04/2012 18:01

Hmm tricky. I think for an easy life I would be tempted to paint the woodwork and accidentally spill gloss paint on it. Or suggest a move around and then drop it as you are lifting it.
Could you fake a burglary?

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