To think this woman at the school is a poisonous cow

[boringnickname]

and just vent my spleen here because im too nice to say the bad things im thinking! What i know i AM BU is the fact i tend to feel the same about her DD but i know its not her fault, she gets it from her mother.

This girl has a history of "bullying" other children. Not to any huge degree, but subtle things. I tried to overlook it, she is friends with my DD (when she choses to be) - the history has been incidents each year. The mother always slagging people off - i was niave to think she wasnt doing it about me wasnt i? (assuming she has)

But now enoughs enough - Have told my DD to keep away from this girl and thinking about requesting they are not in the same class next year.

The straw that broke the camels back - DD soooo excited as was invited to other girls house over easter, every time coming home from school saying she was going - then on the last day of term DD home in tears, X says i cant go now mummy - why? she doesnt like me anymore :( They are six. I can't help but think that this has come from the mother - everything was fine until parents evening and i suspect something may have been said to her about her daughter bullying other children (i know other parents made complaints). So, i didnt hear anything from her then got a text from her to say how many children she had had round on playdates, what a lovely time she had etc, fine. Then got a text saying that that the dance class that was cancelled for the next day was back on and i know full wel it wasnt because i had seen the teacher - i texted to check. I know it sounds mental but i genuinely think (and more to the point so does my DP who doesnt do playground bitching) that she was doing this maliciously so that my DD would get upset (she would have as she is a bit of a blubber if things dont go to plan poor lamb). She sent this text after i replied to her saying that we had had a lovey easter etc, DD seen other children ( i actualy think she was jealous).

You know when you just have an underlying feeling about someone? So of course i saw her this morning and just feel , smied sweetly and said hello but really wanted to tell her what i thought, i wont, of course, but some people......

And what Hully said

Yes I spoke to the school, KatieMiddleton. DD's teacher was extremely supportive and agreed it was best to keep DD and the other girl separate and that she had witnessed a few incidents of this girl being mean to DD, and that my DD is not the kind of child to be unpleasant to others. I said I would tell DD to stay away from the other girl in the playground and play with others and the teacher agreed it was for the best. I can't see what's wrong with that.

I don't know Katie

There was a mum at my school (well a gran) and she was always kind and smiling and buying treats for all the parents and children to have little playground parties after school and everyone loved her.

It turned out she was a witch and put spells on people and chopped them up in her shed. So you never know.

Nothing wrong with that Hex. Very sensible and completely different to the situation the op is describing. Which is my point really.

I did Kat I did

Bloody liberal lefty hands off parenting.....

She didn't live in the woods did she Hully? A bake a lot?

Hully hope that's not my banana bread your referring to...,

Now the ultimate liberal hands-off parent would organise a den building competion to be judged by a neutral third party, and then leave the children in the woods overnight to sort out their differences, while all the parents got together for a kitchen supper and copious amounts of wine.

I really didn't believe grown women behave like this and actually spend any time thinking about random women that they only ever need to meet in the school playground!

Have you really had "confrontations" in the playground Lurker?

Plurker?

Bloody hell.
I am totally stunned that this goes on! I have never come across it. It all sounds extremely childish. If I genuinely thought any of the things you mentioned about another mother I would be unlikely to have her mobile number which would solve the problem of the competitive texting for a start.

Yes I have, never again, I keep away from such parents and speak to teachers and sound things off DH and dm before speaking to school too (checking I'm not being too quick to dive in )

What happened was ds repeatedly told me about this other boy, they had a love hate thing, knew hi. From nurser, been to birthday parties and seen them play. But it all turned bad whe reaching reception. I spoke to school, they agreed some of their play was not nice

Knowing the mum a little I mentioned it and she was fine if they didn't settle down we would get the, together and both say the same thing at the same time to both boys. When i approached after a few weeks and more incidents she was v rude and raised her voice a little and said go on then speak to the school about it.....There were other parent about end of morning drop off. I did text her and said I was disappointed as I was only taking her up on her offer and even apologised if I had caught her at the wrong time, there was no response. Shame.

After this I mentioned it to a couple of other parents who I had since got to know and never said anything whilst it was all going on and they spilled their stories of same unpleasant behaviour re same boy. Sometimes gossip is actually indicative of an issue and as a parent you have to weigh it all up don't know and listen to your child - especially when they upset at bedtime persistenly.

I since found out more about the home life of this boy that I know absolutely to be true and understood more about why he was playing up basically. That's why it's a shame the mum didn't want to know a lot could have been avoided and she would have had at least one persone at the school to speak to.

Not needed to this year, other than can you just keep an eye on xyz, not needed to go in and ask for a 'chat'.

So noone talks to the mum?

Well she rarely does school run but no she never appeared to speak to anyone, I think it was related to her home thing with hindsight I think she was a v stressed mum at the time and was quit defensive. But on a positive note the little boy has really settled down and has playdates now, just not with us, but that's ok.

good lord, not got time to go into it - the bullying is not against my DD, i know it has happened, its not gossip, it came from the mother - i realy woudnt bother getting depressed oer a thread on mnet though.

I know where you are coming from boringnickname, one of my dd's unfortunately had 2"friends" like this ,made even more toxic as not only were the2girls best friends but the mums were too, it was terrible especially as 1 mum was v attractive and persuasive and seemed for years to convince alot of parents and also some teachers that their girls could do no wrong whilst really all 4 of them were and are still ghastly and now the 2girls are in their teens, they are just as bitchy and manipulative as their mothers! Luckily everyone sees through them now but for a few years all4 were spiteful bullies but because they put on a false sense of charm, they seemed to get away with it. Avoid like the plague i would say!

too busy sending silly texts perhaps boring?

How is politely replying to a text saying we have had a nice easter thankyou silly? strange

Yes, i shall just politely avoid, as i say i feel kind of sorry for her but i wont be engaging her again. The comments re the lifestyle were not bitchy really, more of a comment about how she tries too hard and part of her issues, but thats just it really, her issues not mine. DD played with her DD at school today, fine, but it is not a friendship im going to encourage. I would be lying if i said i wasn't slightly envious of her beautifully decorated house, it really is beautiful, but cleary not enough to live like it myself .

Hopefully she will realise her DD is behaving badly and stop with her "it was an accident wasnt it DD" when other children report being pushed or pinched, ive seen it over and over. Maybe i should have been brave enough and said to her, you know, she did that deliberately but i am not, she wouldnt thank me for it.

If you know that her daughter has deliberately hurt your child and other people's children then you need to tackle it. Tackle it head-on by speaking to the parent politely and directly, like an adult. Enough of the whispering behind hands and coded text messaging.

i fully admit that i tell my son to try and stay away from another boy in his class who is very very rough (i have 3 lads and know what rough is) yeah their only 5yrs old but when you see with your own eyes how bloody rough the child repeatdly is then hell yeah i will tell my child to keep away

yes ive explained to mine in the beginning that friends dont do that,the mother struggles with him (he kicked her in the leg and told her to get lost) i was there,i feel for her but my child isnt the only one this has happened to and is a on going class problem

so yes if there is bullying i think any parent has the right to tell there child to keep away,i wouldnt mind but my son dosent want to play with him but the lad dosent have a particular friend or group,and no i dont think this is why he is physically hurting children

I still maintain that the woman the op mentions is decidedly odd. Why would you text someone to say a dance class is on, that you know is cancelled unless you are a shit stirring bitch?

Next time she mentions her 'Cath Kidston' lifestyle, clap your hand to your mouth and say:

'Oh sorry! I must have misheard you before - I've been telling everyone that you consider yourself to have a <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.com/imgres?um=1&hl=en&client=firefox-a&sa=N&rls=org.mozilla:en-GB:official&channel=s&biw=1440&bih=706&tbm=isch&tbnid=gcK93Vu4h13h-M:&imgrefurl=www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/beauty/blogs/beauty-beat/how-to-say-fat-gut-nicely-20110420-1doqw.html&docid=CTsaWryQa8HFMM&imgurl=images.smh.com.au/2011/04/21/2319238/kath_and_kim_729-420x0.jpg&w=420&h=429&ei=qFqMT8L2BYWQ8gPt9ODcAQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&dur=125&sig=107013111846330927270&page=1&tbnh=149&tbnw=163&start=0&ndsp=21&ved=1t:429,r:14,s:0,i:166&tx=120&ty=156&vpx=191&vpy=366&hovh=227&hovw=222" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Kath and Kim lifestyle! Is that something different?