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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not give DH my password

51 replies

Bambino81 · 16/04/2012 10:19

My DH works in IT, we have two PC's and a laptop in the house. He's managed to take over them all. He changes hard drives so my music/pics etc go missing, he assures me they're all safe and I believe him but it just annoys me because nothing is my own.

So I went and got an iPad yday, so i could have my own thing without anyone interferring. Obv DH and DD both wanted a play on it, so we all had a day of playing yday. I noticed he's already downloading crap on it, so I passworded it so he can't get on it. AIBU to do that?

OP posts:
openerofjars · 16/04/2012 11:37

I refused to give DH my app store password. It pisses him off no end and eventually he went and got himself a different tablet pc. This iPad is miiiiiiiinnnnnneeeeeeeeee.

Original poster
Bambino81 · 16/04/2012 11:37

He didn't fiddle with the files as such, he took the whole hard drive out and replaced it with a better one, which is great, but he never bothered moving my stuff over, and I've not seen it all since, this was a year ago and on MY pc.

So I Gave up with that and let him have it.

OP posts:
kitcatcandy · 16/04/2012 11:44

I'm not sure he will find a flaw in the iPad, the more he plays with it the more he will like it. Best go for the all pink repellant option, as much pink and bling as possible.

As for the guitar, that's a world of crap he could put on it, there are tab books, tuning apps... Eeeeep!

He's not going to want to delete apps if he as paid for them, and if he uses your apple ID then it's you paying for the app anyway.

Get a nice pink furry iPad cover on it ASAP

TotemPole · 16/04/2012 11:46

Ask him to re-add the old HDD to the PC. You could do it yourself if he gives the disk back.

It's not on, him not giving you access to your own pics etc. He could have left the old one in there rather than take it out.

doctordwt · 16/04/2012 11:48

Um, slippery slope here already I'm afraid!

'just going to watch/do x but wipe stuff off after...'

No. Tell him to go get his own. Really. You sound too much of a pushover here - he took over your pc, moved all your stuff and you've not seen it since? Tell him he can next use your iPad once all your data is presented to you on a drive which you can access from your iPad. And tell him to start having a bit more respect for other peoples' property!

doctordwt · 16/04/2012 11:50

And I suggest you get clued up on removing and deleting stuff, and make it clear that nothing he puts on your iPad will stay hr here, paid for or not!

chocolatebuttin22 · 16/04/2012 12:05

I had a tablet for my birthday. I didnt actually get to touch it till 3 days after i opened it because DP didnt let it go (I didnt mind to much I was fuming as we have a long distance relationship, so got it back when he went home)
I now have a password on it, to keep my brother, cousins, sister and mom out of it. Step dad couldnt bare not have this gadget and went and brought him self one a week later, could see the green in his brown eyes lol. He claims its a 'remote' to controll all the games consoles, tv-o boxes, home cinema and what not ......bullshit its a toy!!

Think this is just typical behaviour of men who are childish into IT and gadgets!!

Pandemoniaa · 16/04/2012 12:06

My DP doesn't work in IT so I don't have the issue of being treated like a system user. However, we do have a rule about computery sort of equipment in this house. Of which there are quite a few if you count laptops, desktops, iPads and smart phones. It's quite simple - we don't share. Nicely or otherwise. It helps that I've managed to convince him he'd never master my lovely iMac and in fairness, he is terrified of the applications on it. He's equally in awe of my iPad. However, I don't want access to his laptop either (although I know his password). It's his, as is his bizarre file naming system and refusal to use anything other than Internet Sodding Explorer.

I don't think YAB at all U to keep the password to yourself if you know full well that your lovely new iPad is simply going to be subsumed into your dh's collection of technology to be tinkered with. But I think you need to put your foot down firmly and say "this is mine, all mine".

everlong · 16/04/2012 12:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chocolatebuttin22 · 16/04/2012 12:09

tbh though there isnt much he can tinker with on an ipad. He cant download anythink that cant be deleted. They are really fun gadgets so can understand why its flavour of the month. If your going to allow him to use it just set boundaries very firm rigid boundaries

Pandemoniaa · 16/04/2012 12:13

Not sure that the OP should have to be deleting applications that she doesn't want on her iPad though. It's hers. Not another piece of equipment for her dh to customise.

doctordwt · 16/04/2012 12:19

And I suggest you get clued up on removing and deleting stuff, and make it clear that nothing he puts on your iPad will stay hr here, paid for or not!

AnyFucker · 16/04/2012 12:21

tell him to bog off and leave your IPad alone

Original poster
Bambino81 · 16/04/2012 12:25

He won't pay for apps cause he's a tight shit

Ok, I'll put my foot down with it. :o

OP posts:
kitcatcandy · 16/04/2012 12:28

I would be really annoyed if all my files were just got rid of from my own laptop like your DP did. Does show much respect for your stuff. And to top it off it became his laptop after that!

What a fiddler, bet he's getting all twitchy about having a techy device in the home he can't control, heheheehee!

Just make sure when you are using it you mutter things like 'wow I never knew it did that' and 'this app is just amazing', or just 'wow, incredible'. Keep it up till he develops a full eye twitch. :o

openerofjars · 16/04/2012 12:40

Yyy to pink and fluffy etc cover. It's like a magic forcefield. Also, set the background wallpaper to the pink flowery one. I did this and, while it's not very me, it is damn effective.

carabos · 16/04/2012 12:47

My DH is the opposite to yours OP - he's completely IT illiterate and worse, he doesn't realise it. He's constantly downloading stuff which f up the laptop and I end up having to "get a man in" to sort it out. I use it for work and can't be without it for any length of time.

I'm building up to making him buy his own gadget so that I don't have to put up with it any more.

Just say no. If he loves your iPad that much he can get his own.

Bluegrass · 16/04/2012 13:27

OP - how did yor DH feel about you going out and buying an expensive toy for yourself, was it all discussed and agreed beforehand?

Everyone does these things their own way (and maybe you have a lot of disposable cash) but in our household spending a lot of money like that is spending "family" money, regardless of who earnt it, so it gets discussed and agreed in advance. We also don't have the money to justify having a iPad each.

Since they make pretty desirable toys and most people with access to one want to play with it, it would be pretty mean for only one of us to get the chance to own one while the other can only watch! Our solution was buying one to share, like we share our other computers, or we share the tv. I guess the only technology we have that is really personal is our phones for obvious reasons.

Perhaps the whole "this is my toy only" thing wasn't really discussed or understood by your DH before you got it, or perhaps he just doesn't really agree that a purchase like this should be restricted to one of you? Just a thought, for all I know it was his idea for it to belong to you!

thirdfromleft · 16/04/2012 13:38

The ironic thing is if she posted "my DH has passworded his laptop/phone/blah" we'd be 200 posts into advice on how to confront/break in/pack his bags

Pandemoniaa · 16/04/2012 14:59

I really don't get this need to share everything. As it happens, dp bought my iPad for me as a Christmas present. Note the words "for me". He bought his laptop when the ancient, steam-powered desktop PC he insisted on using finally refused to run any application developed since Queen Victoria's reign. It mainly sits on his desk and I don't expect to share it with him because I have my own computer on my desk

OK, the purchase of these items didn't leave the family needing to eat bread and water for a month or for any children to go to school barefoot and in rags.

But for all that, why can't people have an "expensive toy" of their own? It's not selfish to enjoy a few things of your own provided that the rest of the family haven't gone short in order to provide them.

kitcatcandy · 16/04/2012 15:54

Maybe the 'sharers' just secretly wish they had a nice shiny new iPad too :o

To me my iPad is just as personal as my phone!

Original poster
Bambino81 · 16/04/2012 15:54

i've been telling him for a long time that i think i might get a cheap notebook for myself. Then last week his mum came down and she had a really nice, cheap little notebook so i told him i was going to get one, he was all for it and helped me look. he then said for the price i would pay for a decent notebook i may as well pay the extra and get an ipad.

I've been pretty anti ipad for a while but he showed me how much better they where then what i thought so i agree'd, we went to town together and looked at diff deals and picked one out together.

So he did know about it, and incourage me to get one, and i did tell him at regular intervals that this wasnt going to be his latest toy and it was for me, and he was fine.

I got it yday and he's been on it more then me already, but i've said he can play on it, cause like bluegrass sai, we wouldnt be getting one each and i'd feel mean not letting him play - but saying that he has 2 PC's and a laptop to play with and christ knows what else.

He knows i'm not keeping secrets and he knows why i'm passwording it, the whole convo came up when his mum was here and we all had a giggle at what a gadget geek he is and how he takes over like a magpie with a sparkly gem when he see's a gadget, he mocks himself cause he knows what he's like.

Yes i defo think passwording this is the way forwards :o

OP posts:
OhdearNigel · 16/04/2012 16:02

He has interfered to such an extent that you've had to buy your own thing. Serves him right and sod the hurt face. If he hadn't lost all your stuff it wouldn't have happened, would it ?

sensuallettuce · 16/04/2012 16:04

Are you my OH's secret OH?!

I have done the same for the same reasons YANBU.

Alligatorpie · 16/04/2012 17:03

My dh is the techie in the house, but does not like my iPad ( which I bought and wrapped up and told him to give it to me last mothers day!), but he has taught our six year old how to use it. I had to change the password as he was downloading all kinds of barbie apps and crap like that and it was driving me crazy. Now they both have to ask me if they want a new app.

I think passwords are a great idea!