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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

adults with learning difficulties on small childrens' play area.

580 replies

Bethshine82 · 15/04/2012 16:40

Took DS to the play area on Friday, it is not a huge play area and has one of those signs saying it is designed for use by children 14 and under.
Whilst we were there a group of around eight adults with learning difficulties and their carers arrived. The adults proceeded to go onto the playground.
AIBU to think this isn't very fair? They were adults and they weren't really aware of their strength and size. The carers weren't supervising brilliantly and twice I saw one of the adults just shove the children out of the way. Also some of the adults were shouting and screaming which frightened some of the toddlers. Many of the children left. I'm not in any way suggesting that adults with learning difficulties shouldn't be able to go out and enjoy themselves or that they shouldn't be part of the community, I'm just not sure a small childrens' play area is the place for an adults' afternoon out.

I think that the playground should only be used by children, it isn't safe otherwise really. AIBU?

OP posts:
saintlyjimjams · 16/04/2012 15:23

Yes that's very true r3dh3d. I spent most of last summer fighting with my council to keep ds1's care package in place (which is adequate, they were trying to cut it). A big portion of his care package pays for an extra pair of hands so that i can get him out safely every day of the holidays. If that had been removed we would have had even more eye rolling than we already do. And more to the point ds1 would have been unsafe. I had to get my mp involved and had to point out the council that they were acting illegally - I dread to think how many care packages were cut by people who weren't up to taking on the council (it takes a lot of energy)

saintlyjimjams · 16/04/2012 15:23

Because not by. Grrr iPad.

claw4 · 16/04/2012 15:58

Excellent post r3dh3d

I still think some would like to see people who have behavioural difficulties, stay at home, regardless of how much supervision they had or needed.

2old2beamum · 16/04/2012 16:03

Can I ask a simple question why do people think people with SN are violent?
Just look at Norway

Kladdkaka · 16/04/2012 16:07

Can I ask a simple question why do people think people with SN are violent?

Because we are. Always. All of us. BEWARE!

2old2beamum · 16/04/2012 16:10

DON'T COME AND PLAY WITH ME THEN I WILL BE VERY FRIGHTENED

Marne · 16/04/2012 16:11

Maybe they should go and play in the sn's adults park, oh no, because there arn't any!

So where are they supposed to go and play?

We have a lovely park in our village, i often take the dd's up there to play and often there are young adults with sn's (and their carers), we have 2 residential homes in the village and the peope who live there are a huge part of out community.

Both my dd's have Autism and i never feel put out when we go to the park and the young adults are there playing, the carers keep a close eye on them to make sure they stay safe, i'm sure if they were a risk to others they would not be there.

I can see your point about the sign saying 'under 14's', i have never seen one of these signs at a park and it seems a bit odd as most parks are open to everyone and at night time are full of teens smoking and drinking and using the equipment.

Maybe if there were more places suitable for adults with sn's then they would not need to use the smaller equipment but sadly these people are not thought about when designing a park Sad.

AwkwardMaryHadAnEasterLamb · 16/04/2012 16:12

Boffin of course I would be concerned if someone said "Mind that woman she has a history of lashing out at other women" which is a SPECIFIC warning just as the warning I had was specific!

2shoes · 16/04/2012 16:25

well beware..
you will see more disabled people on the bus.
in the park
in the shops
as due to the cuts to SS, that have been mainly ignored by most of mn.
and the cuts to things like DLA,that have been mainly ignored by most of mn.

disabled people will have to go everywhere cheap and free.
so people better start booking online shopping, buy their own play equipment and book taxi's

claw4 · 16/04/2012 16:26

Why didnt you move away if you seriously thought this woman was a real danger and about to smash your baby one at any moment?

AwkwardMaryHadAnEasterLamb · 16/04/2012 16:27

I would also like to point out that our local park is large and a very good one...there are often young adults with SN there....I have NEVER given this a second thought....until now. The equipment is very varied and includes outdoor fitness equipment which these adults like to use...my 7 year old does too and I have never no would ever complain about them sharing together.

I cant believe this thread. I cant even speak out about how I feel without gettiing painted as a bad person.

AwkwardMaryHadAnEasterLamb · 16/04/2012 16:28

claw As I said clearly.....the bus was crowded and I was standing....along with others includng this lady and her assistant.

2shoes · 16/04/2012 16:30

why do you need to keep on about this...
did your baby get hit??

2old2beamum · 16/04/2012 16:30

Just thinking about SN play areas, this is the 21st century and I am sure the word inclusion is used. (in my dreams?)

2shoes · 16/04/2012 16:32

only if the mumies can decide who is included

claw4 · 16/04/2012 16:34

Awkward, but you have also clearly stated that you considered this woman a real and serious risk to your baby, so much so, she shouldnt be 'allowed' on buses. If i seriously thought my baby was about to get hit, i would move, swap places with someone or get off the bloody bus.

AwkwardMaryHadAnEasterLamb · 16/04/2012 16:41

2shoes I am NOT "going on" about this I am answering questions about it.

Ffs.

Claw you must not get on many buses if you think just "Moving" is an option when the bus is full and in the act of getting from A to B.

claw4 · 16/04/2012 16:49

No i dont use many buses, i have a child with a disability!

From what you have said, you considered that this woman was a serious danger to your baby. Given that risk, i just find it strange that you made no attempt to move away or ask someone to swap places with you from her or even get off the bus if moving was impossible.

In a nutshell, i think you are exaggerating, if you thought your baby was in real danger you would have done something about it. Sorry, but thats the impression i get.

FreudianSlipper · 16/04/2012 16:51

i have found this thread disgusting and upsetting; i really thought we had come further than this. my child does not face problems that many do day in and day out out, i do not face the problems their parents do or their careers. I consider that fortunate to be inconvenienced once in a while or to witness or be in a position where i may feel uncomfortable, unsure, worried is nothing in my life this for some is routine and i can not get my head around why it would for anyone else

where is the empathy :(

FreudianSlipper · 16/04/2012 16:54

no doubt it was the last bus, pouring with rain, heavy snow, hailstorm and blistering heat all at once so she was unable to get off the bus

i would be pissed off that no one offered me a seat as i was always offered a seat when i had ds in a sling

saintlyjimjams · 16/04/2012 16:57

If someone told me to "keep the baby away" as she lashed out I would just turn to face away from her and be grateful that the person had warned me. If behaviour was that bad she wouldn't be on a blinking bus. I could understand if your baby had been hurt that you would be upset, but this was a total non-event. It's the equivalent of me saying 'be careful because he jumps up' when young children approach my dog (which I do - quick ban all retrievers from public spaces).

Ds1 stood in the wrong place in a queue yesterday which led to much sucking of lemons from the person most affected by this, so I said 'oh just ignore him' (to the lemon sucker as ds1 was completely refusing to move). It was a total non-event that led to a whole load of harrumphing from the person very slightly affected. Again if ds1 had been pushing in I could understand why said person might get the hump, but he wasn't. Total non-event but accompanied by much huffing and puffing. Seriously watch your blood pressure people.

Actually the tut tut brigade were out in full force yesterday, I had about 4 'incidents' when ds1 was doing pretty much nothing at all except breathing. I really do prefer the winter when half the population stays indoors and keeps their opinions to themselves.

missmaviscruet · 16/04/2012 17:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

saintlyjimjams · 16/04/2012 17:03

I consider that fortunate to be inconvenienced once in a while

Ah bless you. Sometimes no doubt ds1 does slightly inconvenience people. Such as standing in the wrong place in the queue yesterday; it clearly made the man uncomfortable (although god knows why, ds1 had been doing a good job of advertising his disability loudly and cheerfully for the previous 10 minutes and he was only stood in the wrong place, he wasn't doing anything remotely offensive) but the man was inconvenienced for what? 40 seconds, 1 minute maybe, 2 minutes absolute tops. You would be amazed at how many people react very strongly to this. Day in day out, it's very very dull tbh.

However, it does make me very grateful that people like you exist Freudian - and it does make a difference to us :)

ScarlettAlexandra · 16/04/2012 17:06

this is a typical response to people with SN on MN

you are more likely to be hurt by a car accident than be hurt by a sn person. They are out there people, they will be in your towns villages parks etc get used to it there not going anywhere.

AwkwardMaryHadAnEasterLamb · 16/04/2012 17:07

I give up. People are joining in now who have not read the whole thread. I DID move away...or tried my best to...I wrote that EARLIER in the thread.

Nobody offered me a seat no...that's another thread. It was not rainting or snowing....I had a baby in a sling on a crowded bus and I am NOT exagerrating...I felt frightened. END OF> nobody here will convince me that I am wrong.

I am not an evil person....I have a lot of empathy and plenty of people with SN in my life. I do not feel bad because a few people here are trying to make me out to be thoughtless and selfish.

I m leaving this thread now.